Post # 1
Ok, so a while ago I posted about how to word my invitations…..I went with “Together With Their Families” in case anyone was wondering.
A quick recap: My mom passed away when I was 20. My dad is not remarried but has a special lady friend who has been so amazing to me throughout this whole process. We are very close and she is basically like a mother to me. She has helped me so much with all this wedding stuff – every appointment, always wants to talk about it, etc. We are very close.
I am starting to do our wedding programs (less than 3 months to go – woo!). Do I list her under “Parents of the Bride”? I don’t know why but I am still have a hard time seeing her name under there… it looks weird to me since she is not my mother. At the same time, I want to acknowledge her for all the hard work that she has done for us.
Is there any thing else I can label it as? Is there an etiquette about this? I know if my parents were divorced/re-married, you would normally list them with their spouses. We are putting my mom’s name on the program elsewhere.
My mom’s family will also be at the wedding and they are super sensitive and weird (my grandma refuses to come to the rehearsal dinner because its being held at my Dad’s house and she doesn’t like that he has moved on with his life, yet when my grandfather died, she got remarried!) about things. The last thing I need on my wedding day is them getting into a huff about it!
Help 🙂 !!
Post # 2
weatherbug: That’s so great that your dad’s girlfriend is so special to you. It really is. I understand your want to recognize her but I do not feel that listing her as your parent is appropriate.
Instead, I’d list it like, “daughter of AwesomeDad and the late SuperMom.”
You can thank your dad’s girlfriend publicly during the toasts or during rehearsal dinner. You can even get her a gift like you would for your mom but I would keep her off the official program.
Post # 3
I am in a similar situation, and although I am not close with my fathers long time gf, they are very serious and she has been around a long time.
I did not include her in the invitation as I didnt feel it was appropriate in my situation. I said, daughter of Mr. Dad and the late Mrs. Mom
I did include my dads gf in family pictures though so that hopefully she didnt feel left out.
Blended families are SOOOO tricky. Just do what is right for you. She sounds like a lovely lady and Im sure she will be fine with whatever you choose.
Post # 4
I would list it as Mr. Dad and Ms.name, special friend.
The two of you are close and you want to honor her. You should be able to do that. You are also honoring your mom in the program so everyone will be included. It is your special day and hopefully nobody will get their feathers ruffled.
Post # 5
I would not list someone as my mother if they weren’t my mother. That’s a very special title to me, and I will only ever have one mother. I would just list your dad as “father of the bride” and call it a day.
Post # 6
I would list parents of the bride
the late mom’s name, father’s name (girlfriend’s name)
I have divorced parents, one of whom is remarried and I’m considering doing the same thing.
Post # 7
Can you call her friend of the bride?
Post # 8
could you use a different heading than parents of the bride? I know that is the traditional wording but maybe something like
Family of the Bride
The late Mrs. Jane Smith
Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe
Post # 9
If you think your mother’s side will be offended by it, then I would say not to.
Post # 10
littlemisshostess: this is exactly what I would suggest. Of course mention your mother and father, but close as your are to your dad’s girlfriend it seems she is a permanent member of your family. It’s only right to acknowledge her. I would use a format like what littlemisshostess suggested, “family” instead of “parents”. You could even mirror that on your FI’s side too “family of the groom”. Everyone will know his parents are his parents even without the heading.
Post # 11
It’s so nice that you have a great relationship with your dad’s girlfriend. I would think outside the box on this one a little bit. How important is it to you to have traditional programs where people are all listed under different headings? Is your wedding big/diverse enough that many people won’t already know who people are? Or could you come up with something creative that doesn’t create a “parent” heading that you have to awkwardly decide what to put under? For instance, you could maybe put a message thanking all the people who have been instrumental in your special day, and list your dad and his girlfriend there (and mention your mom as well). I’m not the most creative person so I’m not exactly sure how you’d structure it, but I think there are plenty of options that would allow you to sidestep this altogether and avoid hurting anyone or otherwise making things weird.
Post # 12
littlemisshostess: that’s a good plan.
I would not list another woman/ man under “parents” unless it was my bio or step parent.
Post # 13
What do you ladies think of this….
Father of the Bride
Tony Smith accompanied by Sarah Jones
Then maybe when the parents are being introduced at the ceremony, we can introduce them in that way as well… Thank you for the responses so far – keep them coming!