Who do women dress for?

posted 8 months ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Who do women dress for?
    Other women : (11 votes)
    12 %
    Themselves : (63 votes)
    67 %
    Men : (3 votes)
    3 %
    Other : (17 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 16
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee

    At work I need to dress accordimg to the company policy. Every other time I dress for my mood so right now, singlet and shorts. That’s majority of the time. But sometimes I feel in the mood for a sexy dress if I’m feeling confident.

    Post # 17
    953 posts
    Busy bee

    claroquesi :  Wow! I love that quote! 

    I voted “other”. I have to admit I had a hard time answering this question.

    When I “dress for myself” it means I am wearing an elastic waist band. But when I “dress for confidence” I am dressing professionally – which might also be a version of dressing for myself.  

    I work in an artistic/aesthetic field so looking good at work is part of being professional. I do like it, but I also think of it as an extention of work, not as a measure of comfort. I love the quote from claroquesi :   becasue it calls fashion a “uniform”. I think that feels right. 

    Post # 18
    8324 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    soexcited123 :  

    Well you know, your question was bound  to throw up varied answers , some casual and some serious and thoughtful like   echomomm : ‘s.

    Saying  ‘don’t take it so seriously’  when  you don’t like the response, is perilously  close to those men who say “relax’ or ‘settle down’…………

    Post # 19
    373 posts
    Helper bee

    julies1949 :  i guess that’s why she listed “other” as an option

    Post # 20
    737 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I dress mostly for the weather 😂

    Post # 21
    39 posts
    • Wedding: June 2017

     I voted men because at work it’s the truth. If I dressed there like I wanted I’d wear boho style dresses,  beach waves and pink nails. But in my male dominated work environment this look sadly gets you nowhere so instead of dressing for myself I’m power dressing. This means dark trousers and blazers, nude nails, a straight long bob and pointed heels. And yes, the heels are unconfortable,  but being taller than the others somehow pushes my confidence.  

    Oh and I am taking this poll serious because I think it sucks big time that it’s 2019 and I’m not able to be successful at work and dress like I want at the same time.           

    Post # 22
    88 posts
    Worker bee

    I voted ‘other’ because;

    When I’m at work I dress for the job.

    When I’m a home I dress for comfort.

    When I’m out and about I dress for me.

    When I’m at an event I dress for what the event entails.


    Pretty much I am a woman that has many different outfits and many different ‘roles’ I need to play in society.

    I have never dressed for a man though, even when dating I would dress in a way that made me feel my most confident.

    Post # 23
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I have 36M boobs, so people think they are entitled to stare/comment ALL the time. Men, women, children, you name it. So mostly I dress like this…

    Post # 24
    47189 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Hunnibee88 :  “Other” is another generalization.

    Post # 25
    3401 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    soexcited123 :  personally, I dress “for myself”, but obviously how I feel in the clothes I wear is affected by how I wish to be seen by others. 

    Most days my sole concern is comfort plus work appropriate. But on occasions where I dress up a bit more and do make up, it’s because I want to be seen a certain way. Not by men or women in particular, but in general. 

    As a feminist I do struggle with the whole how you dress thing because while I feel people should be able to wear whatever they want and not be harassed, I also think that what you wear is always a statement. Not about how you ought to be treated, but about how you would like to be seen. So when you dress sexy, yeah you should be treated with the same basic decency as anyone else, but don’t pretend it has nothing to do with wanting to be seen as sexy.

    That said, I think what a lot of people misunderstand is the motivation behind looking sexy. They automatically assume it is to attract men but that may or may not be the case and often isn’t. I know a lot of women like to look sexy because it makes them feel powerful. I can definitely respect that. So yeah, they are dressing the way they do so that they are seen as sexy, by men and by women, but not for the benefit of those other people. Make sense? 

    Post # 26
    2298 posts
    Buzzing bee

    soexcited123 :  I will say, though, I do find it interesting how no one ever asks who men are dressing for…and that is by no means a dig at you or your question, just a societal observation 

    Post # 27
    3401 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    happiekrappie :  that’s because everything men do is always purely pragmatic, dontcha know 


    (Also not a dig at OP. This question is being asked in the context of a society in which many people make assumptions about women’s motivations so I totally understand why a woman would be interested in having this dialogue with other women). 

    Post # 28
    6445 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    happiekrappie :  True. Although if you asked my Dh this same question, he would have no idea what you were talking about. So the mere fact that almost all women DO know what you’re talking about speaks to the societal double standard. Because the blame for everything, including a man’s reaction to a woman, has historically been placed on women, women are almost always aware of what their clothes say. That men are not, I suppose, is the very definition of privilege. 

    Post # 29
    6605 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    soexcited123 :  When I was single, I dressed for myself and the potential men who might see me, think I looked like a decent person and strike up a conversation – all without compromising what mattered to my personal appearance, like I never wore makeup for anyone, for example.  It never worked, for what it’s worth.

    Now that I’m married and all, I continue to dress for myself but I do improve my appearance if I’m going out in public.  All people, whether they pretend they don’t or not, do some level of judgment on others based on appearances.  I’m not going to wander around town in dirty pajamas or no bra becuase I don’t want to come off as a slob, even if I occasionally look sloppy in my own home.  But I’m also not glamming myself up for anyone.  I’m a pretty danged casual dresser all around, I just make sure my hair is combed and the like.

    Post # 30
    1461 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    It really depends! On work days, I dress for my patients and my colleagues (I’m a doctor). I want people to perceive me as neat and professional. On casual days, I dress for myself so I feel cute and comfortable. Occasionally if I’m having date night with my husband, I’ll try to dress for him 🙂

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