- 7 months ago
- Wedding: April 2019
100% for myself and my own comfort.
100% for myself and my own comfort.
I dress for… utility. Boots, like hiking boots 🥾 and jeans and a T-shirt and if it’s cold, a fleece. I live in a rural place, I get dirty every day of my life, both at work and on my time off. If I want to look nice, I put on a clean pair of jeans and T-shirt, maybe a sweater lol.
Who I dress for largely depends on what I’m doing. Sometimes I dress for my girlfriends. Other times I dress for my husband. Sometimes I dress to be taken seriously as a professional. Often I dress simply because I want to look good and dressing well makes me feel better.
To a pps point out, it does annoy me that men never get asked this question. My Dh is very particular about what he wears for largely the same reasons. He may be more picky than I am, and certainly takes a similar amount of time to get ready. He gets tight jean’s to show off his butt and wears tailored shirts to show off his pecks. It’s annoying that when I wear a short skirt, I’m trying to draw men’s attention and ‘asking’ to be harrassed. When he is wearing a tailored shirt, he just exists. Ultimately his goal is the same as mine.
I see no problems dressing to please others. It’s why I bought some very uncomfortable lingerie to wear for my hubby on vday. 😁
sboom : Since sexy is subjective, I assume you mean that when women dress in a revealing way, they shouldn’t pretend it has nothing to do with wanting others to think they’re sexy. This is really interesting to me, and I don’t think it’s true across the board. I haven’t worn a bra in over a year, not even at work. It’s not revealing in that I don’t show a lot of skin, but it’s often really obvious. I’d say my nipples are visible more often than not. It legitimately has nothing to do with wanting people to view me a certain way. My point is that while we can guess at what people are trying to say with their clothes or lack thereof, we don’t really know.
I dress and make myself up for my own vanity and confidence, but also because I know I’ll be perceived and treated better when I put a certain level of effort into my appearance. Whether that’s getting better service at a restaurant or being taken seriously in a professional context, appearance is important to others, and it’s therefore important to me.
At home when it’s really just “for me” I wear pjs or yoga pants most of the time, and often skip makeup. When I’m out and about I try to look well put together even if I’m just running errands. That’s not just about clothes (I’m not big into fashion so a lot of my clothes are pretty basic) but about putting together an overall look that makes me feel confident and like I could run into someone without feeling too disshelved. On the weekends that’s often jeans & sneakers and a plain top, but I’ll put in the effort of makeup/hair/jewelry/nails which makes me feel reasonably presentable. I sort of envy people who feel super confident to go out in whatever, but I’m not and never have been one of those people.
ETA: There’s also a good amount of utility involved in my clothing choices. If I could dress however I wanted I’d be in sundresses and sandals all the time but sadly that’s not practical where I live. And as I get older comfort is more and more important to me. In my early 20s I wore heels with casual outfits all the time, whereas now I only wear heels for really dressy events.
sboom : no that makes total sense. I definitely agree that how we dress whether we realize it or not says something about us. It is definitely infuriating when women dress “sexy” and men automatically assume it is to attract their attention. Like you said a lot of women dress sexy to feel powerful. I know when I dress sexy I feel powerful a lot of the time.
evilqueenkarly : girl i feel that. For my frame I always had big boobs and it is such a struggle to find shirts that look appropriate or where men aren’t staring at my boobs and people say. “Well don’t show them off if you don’t want people to look.” But like unless im literally wearing a turtle neck its next to impossible.
So true! I put a lot of effort into my outfits and makeup, and my husband always beams happily because he thinks I’m doing it for him LOL! I would still get dressed up even if I was stuck on a deserted island by myself xo
If any man thinks i dress for them, thats a funny joke. I dont spend an hour doing my makeup and contour for a male to compliment my shoes honey……
But on the real typically no, I like dressing nice for my husband on date nights but any other time I dress for myself.
I don’t really get the question tbh. When I go to work I dress for the office, when it’s cold outside I dress for cold weather, when I’m going for dinner I’ll dress smartly depending on the restaurant, and so on.
I never really thought about dressing for “other people”.