Post # 1
Don’t worry. no big problems over here, we are still in newlywed bliss.
I’m talking about the little questions in life. Things such as “How do I get him to pick up his socks?” “How do I handle *this* inlaw situation?” Or some other non life altering ridiculous question.
Post # 3
I would ask him directly…about the socks thing…other than that I just chat with my friends about it and ask advice there…
Post # 4
I talk to my mom a lot about these sorts of things – Her and my dad have been married for 39 years and i trust her judgement but that doesnt necessarily mean i take her advice all the time. Usually if i just need to vent though i call my sister.
Post # 5
My mum or my friends. Depends on the question. But I’m the first in my crew to get married so sometimes my friends don’t have answers. But I do try to ask him directly as much as possible.
Post # 6
Um about socks- Him of course – but Usually when its marriage related issues they say its best to not talk to family or close friends but to look for someoen with much knowledge and wisdom to talk to. Only because famil and friends will judge to soon, Can b so upse for you and can actually blow eveything out of porportion evn if you didnt think so in the first place- they will judge based on emotions. So if you know someone who is wise and mature and you can disclose your personal marital problems to– That would be great 🙂
Post # 7
I try to talk to my Boyfriend or Best Friend, mom, or sometimes my Mother-In-Law. I haven’t had this come up yet, but if it were something really negative about my Darling Husband, I wouldn’t talk to any of my super close friends or family because it would be more difficult for them to forgive and forget than for me to. I think in general people should not say negative things all the time about their spouses to people who know both of them. BTW, I in no way mean don’t talk about violence, abuse, etc.
That said, for normal “how should I handle this?” situations I always try to talk to (1) someone who will sympathize and make me feel like I’m not alone in my frustration, and (2) someone who will shoot straight with me about how they handle it, if I’m over-reacting, etc.
Isn’t the honeymoon phase fun?!
Post # 8
Thanks ladies. I was just using the socks thing as a stupid example, (which it proved to be.) I tend to think we communicate well and when we have issues, we can talk thru them. But yesturday something came up, and taking it up with him made me feel like I was nagging, which was the last thing I wanted to do. So I was looking for some input on how not to let it become something negative, which it was not.
I did not know what a healthy relationship was until I met Darling Husband, so my mom is useless for asking relationship advice. Most of our friends are either still single and or asking us for advice.
Thank you ladies for the advice on not airring dirty laundry, I agree with you 100%. Too often have friends shared too much info and have made it hard to look at their SO’s the same. Darling Husband is an amazing man and I would not say want to say anything to change peoples opinions of him.
Post # 9
We have one set of married friends whose relationship we really admire, and we have another getting married next month (yippeee!) that has been together forever that we also really admire. I’d probably be inclined to ask them or the bee.
I love my parents, but they’re both obviously terrible at marriage. Mom is twice divorced, and I’m not convinced my dad and Smom are happy most days.
Post # 12
This is something I’ve wondered, because I don’t feel right about going to friends with marital “problems,” even if the problem is just how I can get my husband to help out more around the house. I just think that it seems like betraying my husband to talk about any of that stuff with anyone other than him.
I used to confide in my friends about small annoyances when we were “just” dating, but now that we’re married, I feel like my husband is the person I should be confiding in, as he’s my family and my priority.
Post # 13
It kind of depends on the situation. I have two friends who have been married for ten+ years. Both of them know me well and I tend to ask more generic questions related to interpersonal husband/wife male/female type stuff.
I talk to Darling Husband about most everything else (that doesn’t include him directly – which pretty much covers everything else: like in laws, friends, etc). For bigger stuff (like issues with my family) I talked to an MFT (which ended up being SO helpful!).
…and, last, but certainly not least – there’s a wealth of helpful opinions in the hive 🙂