Who do you invite to the Bridal Shower?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I think showers are more of an intimate affair so bridal Party and closest family/friends. I was just thrown a surprise bridal shower and I had 8 guests. My circle is small. It was intimate and loads of fun.

Post # 3
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’m not doing a shower, but with such a large guest list and only one shower, I would definitely invite close friends and immediate family.  I would invite the fsils and fmil simply because they will be close family after the wedding. Maybe they won’t show up? I would cap it at 30 personally, that’s enough people for you to get spend time with people without it getting out of hand.

Post # 4
Member
12109 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Showers are traditionally low key, modest, and intimate affairs thrown by close friends for close friends and immediate or very close, local family. She should absolutely should not be inviting every woman on your list. If family is included in this shower, yes, I would invite FSILs. 

Keep in mind that there can be more than one shower hosted by different circles of friends or friends of the family. But if Maid/Matron of Honor wanted to host only a small group of your close friends, that would be up to her.

Post # 6
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I invited my mother, girlfriends, my aunts and girl cousins, my husbands aunts and girl cousins, his mother and grandmother.  I wanted it to be only the most important women in our lives. 

Post # 7
Member
3560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

clairhuxtable :  I think of showers this way: invite all the women you would invite to your bachelorette (those are your close friends); invite your other friends who you were MAYBE thinking of inviting to your bachelorette, but were on the fence about; invite family members; ask your mom and Mother-In-Law if she has any friends she would like to invite. those are generally the “circles” of closeness that attend bridal showers (friends of the bride, family of the bride/groom, close friend of the MOB or MOG). of course, you want to keep overall numbers in mind here – if this comes out to 70 women – and you think they’ll all come – that’s a bit much, and you should then edit.

Post # 8
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I find it sometimes depends on who is throwing the shower. A good friend of my mom’s is throwing one for me, and she is inviting several of her (and my mom’s) other friends (who are all also invited to the wedding). She also asked me for a list of friends who I want to include, as well as my sister and grandmother. It’s going to be about 15 people in all, and quite a mix!

Post # 9
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

clairhuxtable :  So, I know of people who have thrown showers and invited every female invited to the wedding.  But those tend to be very large showers, and are usually when the MOB or Future Mother-In-Law are hosting the shower.

Most showers I have been to were far more intimate and were only those close to the bride, and maybe a handful of the MOB’s friends or maybe FMIL’s friends.

When I threw my sister’s shower, the invite list included her local friends, my aunt who happened to be in town, and a handful of my mom’s friends.

My shower is only local friends and a couple of family friends.

Post # 10
Member
8832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

clairhuxtable :  You definitely do NOT invite everyone who’s invited to the wedding. It’s supposed to be your nearest and dearest, people who will actually WANT to give you extra presents and sit around for an hour watching you open them. For most people, this would be people like your closest circle of friends, mom, sisters, grandmas, aunts if you’re close with them, and cousins if you’re close with them. More than that and it starts to look like a gift grab, plus it can become a burden on the people throwing it for you.

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