Post # 1
Where I live showers are not really a big deal, the only shower’s I’ve been to were the day before the wedding and included a handful of the brides friends.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning my shower and wants a guest list but I’m not really sure who NEEDS to be on it. Am I supposed to be inviting every woman who is invited to the wedding? (my guest list is over 380 people right now so that would kind of be a nightmare). Do I have to invite my future SIL’s? (they don’t really like me lol) What about their aunts and cousins? Do I invite some of my mom’s friends? Can I invite only my girlfriends? Where am I supposed to be drawing the line?
I now some people have mulitple showers but I will be having only one.Although my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning. I will be paying for all the food.
Post # 2
I think showers are more of an intimate affair so bridal Party and closest family/friends. I was just thrown a surprise bridal shower and I had 8 guests. My circle is small. It was intimate and loads of fun.
Post # 3
I’m not doing a shower, but with such a large guest list and only one shower, I would definitely invite close friends and immediate family. I would invite the fsils and fmil simply because they will be close family after the wedding. Maybe they won’t show up? I would cap it at 30 personally, that’s enough people for you to get spend time with people without it getting out of hand.
Post # 4
Showers are traditionally low key, modest, and intimate affairs thrown by close friends for close friends and immediate or very close, local family. She should absolutely should not be inviting every woman on your list. If family is included in this shower, yes, I would invite FSILs.
Keep in mind that there can be more than one shower hosted by different circles of friends or friends of the family. But if Maid/Matron of Honor wanted to host only a small group of your close friends, that would be up to her.
Post # 5
weddingmaven : Yeah. I feel like it would be easier in my situation to have mulitple but only my Maid/Matron of Honor has offered and I don’t anticipate anyone else offering (which is totally fine, I’m not complaning and I’m super grateful to her for taking this on). I want to keep it small as possible without offending anyone who should probably be invited.
Post # 6
I invited my mother, girlfriends, my aunts and girl cousins, my husbands aunts and girl cousins, his mother and grandmother. I wanted it to be only the most important women in our lives.
Post # 7
clairhuxtable : I think of showers this way: invite all the women you would invite to your bachelorette (those are your close friends); invite your other friends who you were MAYBE thinking of inviting to your bachelorette, but were on the fence about; invite family members; ask your mom and Mother-In-Law if she has any friends she would like to invite. those are generally the “circles” of closeness that attend bridal showers (friends of the bride, family of the bride/groom, close friend of the MOB or MOG). of course, you want to keep overall numbers in mind here – if this comes out to 70 women – and you think they’ll all come – that’s a bit much, and you should then edit.
Post # 8
I find it sometimes depends on who is throwing the shower. A good friend of my mom’s is throwing one for me, and she is inviting several of her (and my mom’s) other friends (who are all also invited to the wedding). She also asked me for a list of friends who I want to include, as well as my sister and grandmother. It’s going to be about 15 people in all, and quite a mix!
Post # 9
clairhuxtable : So, I know of people who have thrown showers and invited every female invited to the wedding. But those tend to be very large showers, and are usually when the MOB or Future Mother-In-Law are hosting the shower.
Most showers I have been to were far more intimate and were only those close to the bride, and maybe a handful of the MOB’s friends or maybe FMIL’s friends.
When I threw my sister’s shower, the invite list included her local friends, my aunt who happened to be in town, and a handful of my mom’s friends.
My shower is only local friends and a couple of family friends.
Post # 10
clairhuxtable : You definitely do NOT invite everyone who’s invited to the wedding. It’s supposed to be your nearest and dearest, people who will actually WANT to give you extra presents and sit around for an hour watching you open them. For most people, this would be people like your closest circle of friends, mom, sisters, grandmas, aunts if you’re close with them, and cousins if you’re close with them. More than that and it starts to look like a gift grab, plus it can become a burden on the people throwing it for you.
Post # 11
Daisy_Mae : Haha yeah, that’s true. I don’t want to burden my Maid/Matron of Honor. Thanks