(Closed) Who do you invite to the bridal shower? Brides side? Grooms side? Both ?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I invited both sides! I think its a great way for people to come together and meet.

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It’s a good idea to invite any family and close friends who would reasonably be able to come. If you can have people from both sides, if they live near one another, that’s a nice way for them to meet one another. Sometimes it can be nice to include a few people who live far away (like if a sister or one of the bridesmaids lives out of town, so that they don’t get left out), but as a general rule people who live far enough away that they wouldn’t be likely to attend don’t need to be invited (it can start to look gift-grabby).

Post # 7
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

@Jbomb1989:  Invite any women who you are close to who are local. In other words, invite anyone local who you think would be hurt if they didn’t get an invite. 

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

 I’d say, let the Maid/Matron of Honor (or whoever is hosting) deal with making decisions about where to cut off the list. She should invite the # of people she is comfortable with hosting, since she’ll have to decide about the venue, food, etc. I would divide your list into groups (i.e. your mom and sisters, your aunts, FI’s mom and sisters, FI’s aunts, your work friends, your school friends, your mom’s friends, your first cousins, FI’s first cousins, etc.) and then encourage her to invite by group on an all-or-nothing basis. So, maybe she can’t include all your friends, but if at least all the work friends get invited, then nobody feels left out, etc. And that can help you make the decisions about family consistent, too – maybe you invite all the aunts from both sides, but you have to draw the line at first cousins, or whatever. Make sense?

Keep in mind, too, that you will probably get more declines for the shower than for the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My hosts invited everyone who was local and on the wedding guest list.

Post # 10
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

We invited both sides of the family – only the ones who are invited to the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Traditionally, both sides are invited.

But we did it a little differently. His mom had one for his side and my mom had one for our side. Then our moms and sisters came to both of them.

I have been to several wedding showers, including my sisters that I had a huge part in planning..and I can tell you doing them seperately has been so, so, SO much better. It was so nice to have less people, less stress, less gift unwrapping, and so much MORE time to visit and talk with everyone. It was so much more laid back and truly enjoyable, where as with every other wedding shower I’ve been everyone is running around like crazy.

If it’s possible, I would highly reccommend it!! 🙂

Post # 12
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

This might set your mind at ease…

There is NO RULE of Etiquette that says a Bride “cannot have” more than one shower.  Infact 2 or 3 Showers is the norm in some places (and a ton of fun if it is the local custom where you are from)

The important thing as mentioned is that ONE of the Showers should indeed be all about the Relatives… so that both sides of the family can get together.

Another Shower could be all GFs, Work Friends, or School Friends etc.

This is the sort of thing you have to talk thru with your Maid/Matron of Honor so she knows (a) how big your list of potential female Guests could be, and (b) if you are open to having multiple showers… then she might have to “work” to cultivate your groups to find another potential Hostess or two.

When I got married the first time (grew up in the country… and Wedding was in my hometown)… there were several showers held in my honour… A BIG ONE that was all about Relatives & Bridal Party – another hosted by the Church Ladies & Neighbours (a local custom) – and a 3rd that happened in the City where I lived and worked organized by my Work Colleagues and GFs.  And each was very different from the next… and they all had themes… so one focused on The Kitchen – another on Bed & Bath – and the third on ME as a Bride (pampering & girlie gifts).  They were a ton of fun, and I LOVED every minute of them, and spending time with such dear friends both young and old.

Hope this helps,

 

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