- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2017
in the same way
in the same way
too entirely different types of love and honestly cant be compaired
But you were like the third person to talk about genes / flesh and blood / DNA and I got a little exasperated (apologies). My brother is my flesh and blood but I would pull my husband out of a burning building first. If we really want to talk about biology then arguably the more important biological process is the hormonal pair bonding that happens between parent and child, since we have no sensory way of telling who is carrying our genes. Again, from an evolutionary perspective this process exists *because* the species is trying to endure, but to talk about this love in terms of “I am biologically related to my child but not my spouse,” as many here have done, is kind of insensitive to adoptive parents because it begs the question, are nonbiological mothers less loving?
End tangent. I think you and I are actually on the same page, I just did not like the implications of several posts 🙂
I don’t have any children yet, but the way I grew up and the way I *believe* I will feel once I do have kids, spouse comes first. My love for my children will be completely different than my husband, and the love will be equal, but my husband will come first. I feel this way because my children will eventually grow up and leave us and put their spouse above us, where our love and marriage is supposed to last forever. I was never affected in a bad way by my parents putting each other first, it taught me so much about relationships and marriage! Marriage is work, a LOT of work…. and so is raising a child, but that is a different kind of work. My love for my husband and children will be unconditional. But for now, my husband and I both agree… spouse first. I guess that could change once we actually do have children though! We shall see. 🙂
We will never understand the intensity of somebody’s love for anyone because we cannot feel what that person does. We feel what we feel for our spouse or child love, hate, like and to some degree it doesn’t really matter if they are your child or not, it’s the feeling you have for a person right, because it’s not a blood thing.
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