Post # 62
What a coincidence! I was asked this exact question today at a fake jury selection. I had to answer, on the spot, out loud, with no explanation. I said my son. But they’re totally different loves. My son is 6 months old and is my whole world entirely for right now. But I do think it may eventually come full circle again in terms of my immediate priority.
I came home and told DH and he said “I hope you said DS.”
Post # 63
@jessivivi: Maybe “who do you love more?” is not the best way to phrase it because they are different types of love. I think it’s more about which relationship takes precedence. I come from a home where my parents’ relationship took precedence over my siblings and myself. Not in a neglectful way (my parents were very present and affectionate to all of us), but in a way that we could see clear evidence of them not losing themselves and their relationship in solely being parents. And I absolutely, 100% commend them for operating this way! Too many times I’ve witnessed people who put everything into their children and regard them over their spouse, and then when the kids leave they have nothing left! Their relationship with their spouse had been on the back burner and the kids took the number one spot for a good two decades (or more), and now their marriage is unfamiliar territory. WTH? This is wrong, wrong, wrong for anybody who wants a lasting marriage.
I know my parents love me. I have never doubted this fact. But I recognize that they are a unit that needs nurturing as well. One of the greatest lessons a parent can teach to their kids is to love their spouse, and display their devotion to them. It made me feel secure and loved growing up in a home where I knew my dad adored my mom, and she adored him, and that their devotion to each other is what created and sustained us. I will always be their child, and they’ll always love me, but their relationship existed before I came along, and it will continue to exist after I’ve left.
Post # 63
either you mentally ill , or it’s your religion and culture that contrasts with the natural behaviour of living organisms more specifically homo sapiens to love their children more than anything (just anything including God).
Post # 64
since your parent did you same, you are passing the chain. The life is too short to make a change but a little effort can do many things. Forget about the time when your kid may move out and place your kid the top #1 priority and love them more than anything (anything) in world, not to mean to put all time energy behind them and ignore spouse but provide time to both and love to both but the love should flow from your heart for most the child , this is natural , this is how it works and just see the consequences at end. I promise you will have a happy marriage and strong bond (you are not ignoring but also loving you spouse and provide time duty that requires) , you will connect with the life of your kid, do not worry your kid will not think that the world revolves around him (don’t believe who says it since kids know even if mom dad loves them most, world is evil) , and it provides the security to the child with the thought “There is someone who loves me more than anything in the world” …. God bless you , believe in God who created Nature , not in a God who orders to contrast the natural rules … stay blessed: )