Post # 17
I had my mom and sister- who was passed out drunk most of the time with my first (I was a young single mom). And the nurses. It was fine, but I felt much more on my own than anything.
With my 2nd and 3rd it was just my husband and I and it was perfect. The nurses were great when we needed them, but kind of let us do our own thing for the most part. Our doctor was their for a lot of the later stages of labor.
Post # 18
Your reply makes me so happy! People have been up my ass asking me about this lately and I”m honest. I don’t want my husband anywhere near me, he can go drink in the waiting room for all I care, and people are soooo horrified at this. I’m constantly getting “Oh you will change your mind” no screw you!
I will allow three people in the room. The doctor, the nurse, my mother. I know that my mother is the only person who will be able to keep me calm, and at the end of the day, she is a medical professional, she has delivered many a babies and can actually help is something goes wrong. What is husband going to do, pass out? Mother-In-Law things that she should be able to watch her grand child be born like it’s a right. It’s a medical proceedure, not a freaking spectator sport!
I really do not want anyone in the waiting room. I just mad major surgery (it’s looking like a c-section for me) I don’t want to make conversation and pretend that I’m happy happy. However, everyone is saying how they are going to be there waiting, and want to be there supporting me and DH.
Really you want to be supportive? Wait until I call you, then bring cheese burgers and margaritas, that is supportive.
Post # 19
@PoppyH: My husband just so I can remind him what I went through when I want him to do something. 😉
Post # 20
@PoppyH: not preggers but I will not want my mother in that room. I know that she will not be a helpful person to have near me. My sister and I had that conversation when my sister was pregnant. She said she didn’t want mom in there, she relented when the time came and has since said she regrets having our mom there. She is really poor at reading social cues and can be emotionally awkward. She is not someone you want around you in a time of stress, crisis, or even intense emotion (writing this I’m now worried about how she’ll be at the wedding…)
My sister, my best friends, my FH, they would all be welcome to be there and around. Most of my extended family…I’d rather see them the next day.
Post # 21
I just want the medical staff with me. I love my husband, and thats why I’m not letting him see anything.
Post # 22
@PoppyH: We are due in March and the ONLY person I want in the labor & delivery room is DH. I do not want visitors while I am in labor I feel like that would just distract me from laboring. I don’t even want people to know we’ve gone to the hospital because then they are going to pester me for updates or better yet post something about it on facebook. Both of our parents live close enough (my mom lives 5 minutes away from the hospital & DH’s parents are only 1 hour away) that we can call them after she’s born and we are feeling ready for visitors. I seriously want the first few hours after birth to be just about me, DH & baby girl because we’ll never get that time back. I don’t want a TON of visitors while we are in the hospital, I’m okay with immediate family coming to visit once she’s here & we’re up for visitors.
Post # 23
for using the word vagazzle….. I just fell in love with you alittle bit.
I’m sooo happy to know that I’m not the only person who is on the ‘hell to the no’ side of having in-laws in the room, the thought makes me totally uncomfortable.
Post # 24
I definitely want my husband and possibly my mother because she is a nurse. I would only have her in there during labor, and she would be asked to bow out while I’m in transition so it would only be hubby & me when the babe debuts! Not pregnant (yet) either…
Post # 25
My mom. She cannot be there. Someday I will get pregnant and tell her and it will break her heart. She was even in the delivery room with SIL . But my mom has way too much stress in her and I am nt going to have that in the room! I love her and she can come after but not a moment sooner.
We’re planning to hopefully have a home birth so ideally it’ll be the two of us and a midwife and an assistant and we’ll call people after so no one has a chance kt barge in 😉
Post # 26
I will have my husband and midwife. That is it – no doctors, nurses or other unneccesary medical staff and absolutely no other family members!!
My mom, dad, Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law can be in the waiting room, I guess. I think they would have some pretty hurt feelings if they couldn’t be there.
Post # 27
oooh, you have a compelling argument and you might have changed my mind!
Post # 28
@PoppyH: Really you want to be supportive? Wait until I call you, then bring cheese burgers and margaritas, that is supportive.
THIS! EXACTLY! lol. Luckily, my in laws will respect whatever wishes I have. My mom won’t though but she lives 8+ hours away. I don’t plan on letting her know I’m in labor until the timing is such that she won’t be able to make it there for the birth. Mean? maybe. But, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!
Post # 29
Only husband and dr. I don’t want anyone else to even be around while I am laboring b/c I can’t imagine it’ll be pretty!
Post # 30
I’m a few years away from having kids, but I would only want my hubby to be by my side. He’s amazing and can keep me calm.
Post # 31
I’m years away from being pregnant, but for some reason I’ve put a lot of thought into this! And I don’t think I want anybody but Fiance (who will be DH by that point) with me. I spent years just assuming I’d have my mother in the room, too, but not anymore. And it’s not through any fault of her own! My mother is AMAZING – she wouldn’t freak out, she wouldn’t ignore my wishes/needs, she’d just be a helpful loving presence like she always has. It’s just that I hate, hate, hate feeling vulnerable around people, and Fiance is literally the only human being on the planet aside from medical professionals who I’d be comfortable with. I want to be able to focus fully on giving birth, not on worrying what other people are seeing/hearing/smelling.
Honestly, I fall into the camp of “don’t even think about visiting until we’re home and have had a chance to get settled – and even then, ain’t nobody overstaying their welcome.” The issue is that Fiance feels pretty much the exact opposite. He can’t imagine not calling everybody the instant I go into labor so they can all be there, primed to stampede into the room as soon as the kid’s out. That’s just what he’s used to. It’ll be interesting to see what happens.