(Closed) Who do you (not) want in the delivery room with you?

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I had my mom and sister- who was passed out drunk most of the time with my first (I was a young single mom). And the nurses. It was fine, but I felt much more on my own than anything.

With my 2nd and 3rd it was just my husband and I and it was perfect. The nurses were great when we needed them, but kind of let us do our own thing for the most part. Our doctor was their for a lot of the later stages of labor.

Post # 19
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@PoppyH  My husband just so I can remind him what I went through when I want him to do something.  😉

Post # 20
Member
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@PoppyH  not preggers but I will not want my mother in that room.  I know that she will not be a helpful person to have near me.  My sister and I had that conversation when my sister was pregnant.  She said she didn’t want mom in there, she relented when the time came and has since said she regrets having our mom there.  She is really poor at reading social cues and can be emotionally awkward.  She is not someone you want around you in a time of stress, crisis, or even intense emotion (writing this I’m now worried about how she’ll be at the wedding…)

My sister, my best friends, my FH, they would all be welcome to be there and around.  Most of my extended family…I’d rather see them the next day.

 

Post # 21
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@PoppyH  I just want the medical staff with me. I love my husband, and thats why I’m not letting him see anything. 

Haha

Post # 22
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@PoppyH  We are due in March and the ONLY person I want in the labor & delivery room is DH. I do not want visitors while I am in labor I feel like that would just distract me from laboring. I don’t even want people to know we’ve gone to the hospital because then they are going to pester me for updates or better yet post something about it on facebook. Both of our parents live close enough (my mom lives 5 minutes away from the hospital & DH’s parents are only 1 hour away) that we can call them after she’s born and we are feeling ready for visitors. I seriously want the first few hours after birth to be just about me, DH & baby girl because we’ll never get that time back. I don’t want a TON of visitors while we are in the hospital, I’m okay with immediate family coming to visit once she’s here & we’re up for visitors. 

Post # 24
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I definitely want my husband and possibly my mother because she is a nurse. I would only have her in there during labor, and she would be asked to bow out while I’m in transition so it would only be hubby & me when the babe debuts! Not pregnant (yet) either…

Post # 25
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My mom. She cannot be there. Someday I will get pregnant and tell her and it will break her heart. She was even in the delivery room with SIL . But my mom has way too much stress in her and I am nt going to have that in the room! I love her and she can come after but not a moment sooner.

We’re planning to hopefully have a home birth so ideally it’ll be the two of us and a midwife and an assistant and we’ll call people after so no one has a chance kt barge in 😉

Post # 26
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I will have my husband and midwife. That is it – no doctors, nurses or other unneccesary medical staff and absolutely no other family members!!

My mom, dad, Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law can be in the waiting room, I guess. I think they would have some pretty hurt feelings if they couldn’t be there.

Post # 27
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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@ThePrincessBride10612  oooh, you have a compelling argument and you might have changed my mind!

Post # 28
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@PoppyH  Really you want to be supportive? Wait until I call you, then bring cheese burgers and margaritas, that is supportive.

THIS!  EXACTLY!  lol. Luckily, my in laws will respect whatever wishes I have.  My mom won’t though but she lives 8+ hours away. I don’t plan on letting her know I’m in labor until the timing is such that she won’t be able to make it there for the birth.  Mean? maybe. But, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!

Post # 29
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Only husband and dr.  I don’t want anyone else to even be around while I am laboring b/c I can’t imagine it’ll be pretty!

Post # 30
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

I’m a few years away from having kids, but I would only want my hubby to be by my side. He’s amazing and can keep me calm. 

Post # 31
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m years away from being pregnant, but for some reason I’ve put a lot of thought into this!  And I don’t think I want anybody but Fiance (who will be DH by that point) with me.  I spent years just assuming I’d have my mother in the room, too, but not anymore.  And it’s not through any fault of her own!  My mother is AMAZING – she wouldn’t freak out, she wouldn’t ignore my wishes/needs, she’d just be a helpful loving presence like she always has.  It’s just that I hate, hate, hate feeling vulnerable around people, and Fiance is literally the only human being on the planet aside from medical professionals who I’d be comfortable with.  I want to be able to focus fully on giving birth, not on worrying what other people are seeing/hearing/smelling.  

Honestly, I fall into the camp of “don’t even think about visiting until we’re home and have had a chance to get settled – and even then, ain’t nobody overstaying their welcome.”  The issue is that Fiance feels pretty much the exact opposite.  He can’t imagine not calling everybody the instant I go into labor so they can all be there, primed to stampede into the room as soon as the kid’s out.  That’s just what he’s used to.  It’ll be interesting to see what happens.

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