Post # 1
We’ve been trying to figure out if we send thank you cards to everyone who attended or people or gave gift or both. Do we send two cards for people who attended and gave a gift or is one enough?
There was a logistical issues since our wedding was abroad and we said it was okay to leave your gifts at home and drop it later at the gift party. So we had nearly half of the guests from abroad not bring any gifts. We held a little ‘gift party’ (cupcakes, champagne, photos) but even then several people attended without a card/gift/anything.
I’m pretty much out of energy now since we put together a 6 day wedding and 40% have not bothered to send anything two months later. I’m tempted to not officially mail anything to them since we already sent several virtual thank yous to them.
I know the higher road, better etiquette is to send cards to everyone, but really, I don’t care anymore. I’m just very sad that after all the effort we took to book people’s hotels (since it was a Golf Club), pay for private busses to go shopping, cover food and alcohol for 4 days, we get nothing from so many.
Just quite heartbroken.
If you were in this situation, what would you do?
Post # 3
@blacksapphire: oh no 🙁 Send thank you cards to those who sent you gifts. That sounds terrible! All of that effort on your part to make a nice mini vacation for your guests and they didn’t appreciate it enough to buy a simple gift. I feel like I might encounter this problem as well, all of my guests will be out of town and with all of the flights and hotels I am not expecting very many gifts.. sucks but it was totally my choice.
Post # 4
We only sent thank yous to people who gave gifts. The people who came to the wedding already got thanks with free food and drink.
Post # 5
I think it’s more courteous to send thank-you cards to all that attended, regardless of whether they bought a gift or not. I would feel slightly annoyed if I went to a wedding and only some people got thank-you cards and I didn’t get one (although I don’t think I’d ever turn up at a wedding without a gift in the first place though). For those who attended and gave a gift, one thankyou card is enough, as long as you be sure to include that you are thanking them for attending and for the gift. x
Post # 6
Hey all, thanks for the suggestions and thoughts. Hugs.
I do know some people told me they will get me something upon returning home. So, I’m keeping extra thank you cards for that.
@NolloUK – I agree that it is better to send to all but it feels unfair to those that made the extra effort. Plus we have a lot of guys on the “no give” list, I have no problem annoying them. 😛
@MissAsB – thanks!!!! we did do lots of food and drinks :))
@MrsNeutrino – yup, be prepared for less gifts/cheap gifts. All the cheap stuff on our registry was bought up, no one got crystal or anything. But we did get some great GCs so we can go shopping. Plus, you get to visit your out-of-town friends and crash on their couches!
But we did come up with a good idea for the thank you cards! We’re going to order 200 Moo business cards with photos from the wedding. Each little envelop will have 4-5 photo cards plus a mini thank you card wrapped up. Plus the photos will be of the guests, events, all the fun parts.
We’re also making a nice moodboard to email the rest of the people so they get something as well.
Will keep you posted.