(Closed) Who do you visit for holidays – his fam or yours?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Every year for the past few years we’ve done Thanksgiving with his family, Christmas Eve with my mom and then Christmas Day split between my mom and my dad/stepmom. It does make it easier that DH’s family is Jewish and doesn’t celebrate Christmas. At the same time though, I miss Thanksgiving with my family!

Post # 4
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

We alternate.  Last year I had Thanksgiving with his family, Christmas with mine.  Now it’s supposed to be reversed this year, but now that I work in a hospital, I’m required to work some holidays.  Unfortunately, I have to work Thanksgiving night so my plans to cook for my family were cancelled.

Post # 5
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

We follow the same schedule as my brother (he’s been married for 9 years). My family gets Thanksgiving, and my (almost) husband’s gets Christmas.

But, currently, our parents live in the same city, so we see both sets for both. And I live two minutes from my brother, so I see him all the time.

Neither family does a bit extended family thing anymore, so it’s just us kids and parents (and his grandmother).

 

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We are really lucky that our parents live in the same neighborhood, so here is what we do on the holidays. Thanksgiving we have dinner with my family (smaller group) and then dessert with his family. Christmas is crazy, but basically we see his sister’s family either the day before or after, and on Christmas morning, we go to his dad’s to open presents with them, then to my parents house, then later in the day we go to my aunt’s to see my entire family. We’ve been doing this for the past 3 years, and its worked out pretty good

Post # 7
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We’ve been traveling together for the holidays for 5 years now I think? We usually alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas. ie thanksgiving with ILs then Christmas with my family. Next year will be Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with ILs. My family lives 8hrs away and currently the ILs are down South. So unfortunately this year with the baby and new house we won’t be traveling to spend Thanksgiving with them.

When the baby comes I imagine we will switch to a every third year routine so that baby gets a Christmas and thanksgiving at home every third year.

ETA: You bet that year we’re at home I’m going to be bugging my family to come spend Christmas with us!!! (ILs will be back local by then) Which will be nice because it means we won’t be traveling as often with baby during the holidays.

Post # 8
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My husband’s family lives 2.5 hours away and we usually visit both sets of families for Christmas. We do the local one on Christmas Day and his family celebrates there Christmas party a day after. For Thanksgiving and Easter we usually just stay local and don’t visit his family. But we make sure to visit them a lot on weekends since they are only 2.5 hours away. His family is not very formal though. One year they had Thanksgiving dinner at the Holiday Inn. They had a THanksgiving buffet dinner. haha! We did come that year and it was actually not bad! We have no children though, so who knows what we will do when they enter the equation!

Post # 9
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Thanksgiving is always with my family, because his doesn’t do anything much. Christmas Eve is with his family, and Christmas Day with mine because it’s probably the biggest Christmas party anyone’s ever seen 😀

Post # 10
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

His for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, for a couple reasons, the biggest being that my family lives across the country and I don’t get along with them. And I love my in-laws. 

DH’s brothers split the holidays with their in-laws (they share in-laws, sort of..my SsIL are cousins). Last year they spent Thanksgiving with their in-laws and Christmas with us. This year they’ll be down for Thanksgiving and will spend Christmas with their in-laws. It works well for them. 

Post # 11
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Both.

My family is in a different country so it’s pretty much the only time we get to see them. 
After our short trip there we come back to the states and go into his family.

 

I LOVE the holidays 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Our families all live within half an hour of each other and us, so we do everything. His mom’s side and my dad’s side both have Thanksgiving and Christmas lunch, so we rotate each year which house we eat at, and then go to the other one in the afternoon. Then my mom’s side does supper for both holidays. And my parents and I have our immediate family Christmas on Christmas Eve. His family doesn’t do anything for Easter so we just go to my side. We’ve been doing holidays together since the beginning, I’m so glad we’re able to coordinate it.

Post # 13
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Both for Xmas. They are a 2 hour drive apart.

We spend the two days before Xmas with his family, and then get up Xmas morning and spend that day and the next day with my family. We have to fly in for the holidays from across country. 

Then for the week following, we split up to spend time with our respective families, but we have no kids so that makes it easier.

For other holidays (when we were living there) that only lasted one day, we would do every other year. So Easter at my moms, Tday at his etc.

Post # 14
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I wish we could rotate, we spend so much time bouncing from one event to the next. My family does Christmas Eve and then sometimes Christmas Day dinner with just my family or at my great-aunt & uncle’s. That’s pretty flexible though – my parents are pretty easy-going if we can’t make it. Then we have New Year’s at that same great aunt/uncle.

DH’s family also does Christmas Eve and sometimes dinner the next day as well. Then there’s his mom’s side of the family’s Christmas, and then his Dad’s. So a minimum of three that we have to attend on his side.

So three (sometimes four) + two(sometimes three) is 5-7 holiday events usually within a week. Luckily, everything is within an hour or so, but I wish we could get into rotating because when we have kids, this is going to be pain in the butt.

What I don’t like is how all of my side’s events are ‘optional’ to my parents – his side is not ‘optional’. So of course it makes me want to go to my side, and I resent going to so many on his.

Post # 15
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It depends. We’ve usually spent Thanksgivings apart, because he goes out of town, while I stay with my family. For Christmas, we spend Christmas Eve with his family and then we alternate the 25th/26th with his mother’s family and my parents. 

Post # 16
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Oh – forgot other holidays. Sometimes for Easter we go to great/aunt uncle, my parents might have lunch, but it’s not consistent. His parents always have something although we actually didn’t go this year because his B&SIL hosted it two hours away.

Thanksgiving we usually go to great aunt/uncle at night and then his family has something. Although this year it looks like we’re just going to his side, since mine isn’t having it.

I need to get a planner to organize all our holiday events!

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