Post # 1
There are probably multiple meanings of it but I mean it in the sense that you do not date a friend’s ex. I honestly never understood why that was off limits, especially for younger people who tend to be in more short-lived relationships, as long as you’re not being sneaky and underhanded.
My friend just lost a good amount of his friends because the girlfriend of one of them started showing an interest in him and I guess he didn’t beat her away with a stick. And he is interested, but hasn’t really done anything about it yet.
I was in a similar position when I was in high school but the friend was more of an acquaintance. But she never stopped talking to me or anything after it happened and pretty much treated me the same. But I know it would really upset some other people. I had some friends back then who thought even crushes are off limits which seems kind of silly to me.
Post # 3
@tmsing: I’m sorry but I typically agree with the rule of not dating a friends ex… it just doesn’t seem right to me. If you are close with the person who’s ex is showing interest, you may then know incredibly intimate details pertaining their sex life, arguments, families, WHATEVER.
In my single days I was disgusted any time someone who had been with a friend of mine showed interest, and I also wasn’t very impressed the one time a supposedly good friend decided she was interested in someone I had dated off and on for EIGHT YEARS. NOT cool.
However, if you friend has not acted on anything with this chick, and his friends have written him off simply because she has shown interest, then they don’t sound like great friends in the first place.
Post # 4
Yeah he said they didn’t even do anything but he really does like her. I kind of wonder if he’s trying to prove a point to these ex friends that he hasn’t made moves on her yet, but he DOES want to date her. He never talks about girls to me and H ever so he must really like her a lot.
To clarify, I think there is a huge difference between two people who went on a few dates or dated for a few months compared to two people who were really serious about each other. With this girl, it sounds like friend and the ex bf were really good friends.I don’t know how serious this girl and the ex were.
I do find it very interesting and I get why best friends are held to a much higher standard. But sometimes people are star-crossed. My stepmom actually was friends with my mom first before she met my dad post divorce but the issue I had with her over the years was that she could never just come to me and talk about the awkwardness of it all and just always avoided dealing with it…but if they really fell in love and they’re happy now then they’re happy and it matters very little what others think.