Who does the majority of the housework

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Who does the majority of the housework?
    Me- the wife/girlfriend : (75 votes)
    49 %
    Him- the husband/boyfriend/fiance : (22 votes)
    14 %
    We split the chores pretty much 50/50 : (56 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    1387 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Don’t really keep tabs. He works, I work, we take care of our daughter – and do things that need to be done around the house. Even before our daughter we both did our share without ever thinking about it.

    Post # 32
    Member
    652 posts
    Busy bee

    On the balance, he does the most I’d say. I do most of the indoor housework, he does all of the outdoor housework and 99% of the cooking, so I think he ends up doing much more around the house than I do. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    Pretty slip but depending on the week and how busy someone is it can turn out to be more for the other.

    Post # 34
    Member
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017 - Sauk Valley Resort

    We’re about 50/50. I do all the cooking, except maybe one meal during the weekend (he makes great quesadillas and cereal…), we grocery shop together or I do it alone if I get out of work early one day during the week, I do the laundry (I actually kind of enjoy it), he does the dishes about 80% of the time (no dishwasher), I clean the bathroom, we both vacuum (just depends on who gets to it first), he takes out the trash, I mostly do the dusting, I clean the kitchen while he’s doing dishes. I get home about an hour after he does during the week, so a lot of times he’ll pick up anything that’s out of place before I get home. Neither of us are morning people and we tend to make a bit of a mess while we’re getting ready in the morning, but he almost always cleans that up in the evening.

    Post # 35
    Member
    3444 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t know the breakdown but it seems mostly fair due to the difference in the amount we each work and our schedules. I work less so I do more inside stuff but he does his share when he has time.

    Post # 36
    Member
    625 posts
    Busy bee

    He does…and BOY do I hear about it! 

     He has a higher standard of clean than I do. I’m okay with letting it get a little messy and I can just chill. He wants it super clean so he just does it himself a lot. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    3837 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    We work the exact same hours and housework is 50/50. I don’t think I could be with someone who didn’t do their fair share of the work (if work hours are different then of course a fair amount may be different). It works because we each have our own tasks that we know we are responsible for (it kind of sorted itself out organically but you could certainly dish the tasks out consciously). He cooks, I wash up. I vacuum, he mops. I dust and tidy, he does the yard work. We grocery shop together and both do laundry although usually him as he goes through clothes faster. Sometimes we try to switch tasks and it doesn’t work at all, like I get so stressed cooking and he takes so long to wash up, or he won’t notice what’s dirty and I don’t even know how to turn the lawnmower on. Try to play to your strengths. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    We’re both men, but I do most of it. Dear Fiance works more than me. If I worked more, he would do more, but I don’t think things would get done the way I like them. His dorm (the only time he lived without someone who cleaned regularly) was kinda grody, which is evidence of that to me.

    He can do laundry from start to finish, he can cook, he can do basic cleaning. But I would still end up doing the deep cleaning. We’re in an apartment, so no grass, but our plants would 100% die. 

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking him to do something, I would hope he wouldn’t make you ask to the point where you are nagging. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee

    I cook and do dishes; he never does and I’m fine with that.

    It was established early on that yes he can do it, but he enjoys the wifeyness of me making him a homemade meal or dinner. When I don’t we just order out or go out. But he praises my cooking, so it feels like something special. I plan the meals and baking so I do most of the shopping; he’s come with me before but not often. (Fairway delivers, so does online shopping even count?)

    We both sweep and mop.

    He takes out the trash. 

    I’m mostly the one to tidy up but he does any major organizing or handy work that’s needed. more so the super takes care of big projects ie: we just refloored, took down a closet and had fresh paint done. 

    Laundry gets sent out (the wash n fold picks it up and drops it off so I don’t even have to worry about it.) 

    Post # 40
    Member
    712 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I think I do a little more, but that’s because I generally take initiative to clean up more when I’m not at work.  If I leave Darling Husband a honey-do list when he’s off work (he has more days off/month than I do), he’ll usually do everything I ask, but I usually have to ask him.  However, there are some things I always do myself because his and my standard of clean is…not quite the same 😛

    Post # 41
    Member
    2655 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I do the bulk of the household chores, although Darling Husband is usually pretty good at helping out and we do have chores that are “ours”. The main reason that I do must of the chores is simply that I’m pretty particular about how certain things are done. I do the laundry (washing, hanging out, folding, handwashing, etc), I clean the bathroom, I do the kitty litter, I do the vacuuming and dusting. Darling Husband takes the rubbish out, mows the lawns and does other yard work. We have an arrangement that one of us cooks and the other does the washing up – I cook 9 times out of 10, so Darling Husband does the dishes. On the weekend, I’ll usually do a general tidy up around the house too.

    I have gotten a bit lax on some of the chores, as we’re renovating so the house is covered in dust and stuff. We’re both pitching into the renos, although Darling Husband is definitely doing the most. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    1356 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2027

    View original reply
    somedaybride :  He is good with the basic things you mentioned. Laundry, washing dishes, taking the trash off, sweeping/mopping/vaccuming, and we pretty much split that stuff 50/50. But like you said, the other little things he just misses all together. The kids dropped something in the floor? All of them will walk around it for days, rather than pick it up. I do not mean like food, I mean like the wrapper off a piece of gum or something. 

    Also, the other things like changing the sheets and dusting, and changing the a/c filters, cleaning the toilets/showers/tubs, all the things that most men seem to forget need to be done. Most of that falls on me. I do not mind most of it though, because (even though we both work) I work from home, and doing those in between my shifts keep me busy and allows me to get up from my desk and do something. 

    My brother owns a landscapng business that my Fiance helped start, so one of their contractors comes and does those things. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee

    We split mostly evenly – I think I do a little more, but he would do more if I asked.  He does work more hours than I do and has a longer commute.  During his busy season at work, he can easily work twice as many hours as I work during those times, so I will take over the chores.

    We each do our own laundry.  I would say he is a little better at day-to-day chores like wiping down the table and tidying or whatever.  I am much better at more long-term, deep cleaning.  My husband has never dusted a baseboard in his life lol.  It’s a good balance though and works for us.

    Post # 44
    Member
    7897 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I do most of it. I lived on my own for most of my 20s, so I’m just used to doing all the chores. Darling Husband does help out and is a willing participant, but I definitely do more of it. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    My work days are pretty long (get to the office around 8 and leave around 6:30) but my boyfriend’s are MUCH longer. He’s a young attorney and just about never is able to leave until 10 or 11 and then commutes an hour home. So I do waaayy more of the housework during the week. However, he does a deep clean of our kitchen every Sunday and tries to help out as much as he can. Still, I’d say I do the lions share. I think given our schedules that’s fair. 

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