Who does the shared finances?

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I do the finances. We don’t have separate accounts. I manage our budget, investments, retirement, bills, etc. My husband has access to all of this and he’s kept in the loop about everything; he just isn’t as knowledgable so leaves it to me. 

Post # 17
15001 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Husband manages all the investments.  We don’t really have a budget or have worry about paying the bills since everything is just on autopay.  I periodically check the credit card statments to make sure there’s nothing fradulant going on.

Post # 18
3523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I handle all of the finances. So does my mom, and so does my husband’s mom.

Post # 19
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I manage 100% of our finances, taxes etc. I just started trying to explain it to my husband better in case god forbid something happened to me. But he is just not good at that type of thing

Post # 20
9397 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Dh does it all — I don’t have the time (or interest!) to handle it. He runs everything by me and I have access to all our accounts, so I’m always in the loop and that’s good enough for me!

Post # 21
2113 posts
Buzzing bee

My husband handles most of our finances.  Although I usually do our taxes. I feel like most couples I know though the woman handles all of the finances.  

Post # 22
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I do the daily/monthly finances, and he files our taxes with my input. We both handle our own retirement plans. We’ve discussed joint investments in the past, but so far nothing has grabbed our attention enough to do so. If we did, I imagine it would be a continual discussion with me doing the legwork.

Post # 23
395 posts
Helper bee

My husband does our finances, simply based on interest. By virtue of his career, he follows the markets closely. I also trust him completely, but I have complete access to everything and he discusses big moves with me – like selling off large amounts of stock, refinancing our house, etc.

In my prior marriage, I handled the finances.

Post # 24
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I do the initial workings out and calculations, then hubby will sit down with me and we’ll go over them together. I’m really quick compared to him so we both end up frustrated if we try and do it fully together from start to finish. But he knows what’s going on with our finances as do I. 

I think it’s important that both parties in a relationship know where the money is going. All our finances are shared and we each have a separate account where we each get the same amount of disposable income that we can spend how we please and isn’t answerable to the other. It’s good having some play money. Although we can’t afford to just now as I’m setting up a business. 

I think it’s going to be more difficult making sure things are all separated as they should be while I’m getting into the swing of it all.

Post # 25
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria

Darling Husband and I share the load in terms of organising to pay bills and getting direct debits set up etc. He deals exclusively in the parking/speeding fines department because I hate seeing them come through (such a waste of money!) though. In terms of investments and longer term financial strategy, that’s solely my department. Prior to stepping back (due to hours, stress, starting a family etc) to my current career in Insurance I was in Investment Banking and studied a Masters of Finance at uni so it made natural sense that I take care of this part of our finances. I’ll usually run things by him over dinner out or something if I’m changing our investment strategy or reallocating our portfolio but generally I am the one who’s fully across this stuff and he’s happy to just chat about it when I bring it up. With Super and Taxes he sort of knows what’s going on but again it’s largely my department – I tell him what to do and he just makes sure it’s done! The same would go for his area of expertise though (Lawyer). If anything legal comes up I automatically divert to him e.g. we’re in the process of buying an investment property and I’m letting him solely handle the legal paperwork and filing with the right courts for stuff etc. 

Post # 26
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

My husband does most of it. When we moved in together, I moved into his house, and he already had all the bills etc set up automatically, so he just altered them to come out of our account instead of his.

Theres very little to do, to be honest. Bills are paid automatically by Direct Debit, we don’t have investments, and we’re in the UK so don’t have to do taxes ourselves.

Post # 27
1162 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

I keep the spreadsheet updated, but we have meetings about once a month/every two months to go over everything, including cash balances, debt balances, and goals. 

Post # 28
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We still have our separate accounts and bills. We each have a vehicle payment we had before even getting engaged, and I have that plus a student loan. So we pay all of our “personal bills” ourselves. 

I handle the majority of our personal finances. I’m slightly OCD and a planner, so I like to plan out when bills hit, when they’re due, etc. I also handle our taxes as well. I keep Darling Husband well in the loop on things, and he’ll happily step in (so its not like he’s lazy or has no interest) but I just like doing it too. 


Post # 29
4588 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I do almost all the finances (budgeting, saving, paying bills, investments, taxes, etc.). I like knowing what’s going on and my husband isn’t all that interested in doing it. Naturally, we talk over the big picture or major expenses together.

My mom is very financially savvy, so she handled everything when I was growing up. I think it works best when the person doing it doesn’t see it as too much of a burden (and the other person is still well informed).

Post # 30
9379 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

what does sex or gender have to do with it? 

I am a woman,  I manage our finances and pay our bills. I owned my house before we were serious so 95% of the bills are in my name anyway.  I do it because I’d rather have the control as my husband is not good with money.  I also have investment accounts, where as my husband has none, besides his employer 401k.


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