(Closed) Who does this and is there anything I can do?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Just put his name and ‘Guest’ on her placecard.  It’s too late now to tell him not to bring a plus one (IMO).

Just don’t be suprised when he doesn’t bring anyone or with someone other than Valeria.


Post # 4
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Lol!  I’m sorry to laugh, but omg that sucks in a really funny way.  I guess you’re kind of stuck, it’s not really worth rescinding his plus one.  If it were anything but a wedding, I’d tell him exactly what I thought, if it were me.  Good luck!

Post # 5
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh boy, I would be SOOO tempted to rescind on his plus 1, especially since you  went over headcount and budget to try and accomodate him!  Geez!  A wedding is not the best place to bring any date whom you don’t even know their last name.  Man, I don’t know what I would do…. It might be too complicated and could backfire, but maybe I would try to have another male cousin/relative casually ask him the skinny on this girl and try to talk him out of bringing her.  Good luck, for sure!

Post # 6
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ah, that sucks! I don’t know, you would be perfectly within your rights to tell him that the +1 was for his ex, and that you don’t have the budget to include people you don’t know (although at this point the venue will probably still charge you regardless). But I wouldn’t bother–it’ll just make him mad at a time when it sounds like he could use a little emotional boost anyway.

Here’s hoping Valeria is fun, at least! 🙂 

Post # 8
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sorry, this is just awful!! I guess you can’t really take away the +1 (even though it’s SO tempting…), hopefully he will show up with his ex-wife.

Let us know how this all turns out…

Post # 9
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ugg! I would have said “Sorry, we gave you a +1 for your ex, not for some girl you just met!”


Post # 10
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Hunter's Ridge, Princeton, IL

Oh GAH, you poor thing. I wish there was a way you could take it back…it’s not like he won’t know anybody else there!

Good luck!

Post # 11
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t see it being too late to tell him that he can’t bring a guest. Especially given the circumstances you shared. I’m wondering if he felt like he needed to fill a seat so you weren’t out of money rather than bringing a date because he’d be lonely though. I suppose he most likely isn’t thinking that way, but perhaps…

Post # 12
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Actually hope that he brings someone else to the wedding and then say “OHHH you must be Valeria, we are hoping to hear all about you” 😉  And you can even dump on the cattiness and say something along the lines of “I am so sorry that your placecard has the ex’s name on it, it was too late to change it at the printers”

Post # 14
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@unixfairy: Haha, that would be funny. But that would really suck for the date. I mean, can you imagine some guy asking you to go to a family’s wedding and then not knowing anyone and everyone being snarky?

I think either rescind the +1 or just put Guest since you’re not sure who exactly he’s bringing.

Post # 15
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@tootietoo2: The +1 is for him, not for you.  It doesn’t matter if she’s a “random stranger” to you – he knows her and wants her company to entertain himself during the event.

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