(Closed) Who else gets annoyed when people take forever to RSVP!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Your RSVP date is a month before your wedding?  At this poing you’re still six weeks out from your wedding… traditions says that standard timing for mailing invitations is 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding.  (With an RSVP date of 1 to 2 weeks before the event.)

It’s completely feasible that you may have guests who do not yet know if they are available to attend your wedding. 

Take a deep breath and realize that your guests are still perfecly polite, and have another two weeks to return their RSVP and still be considered timely. 

Please don’t chase down RSVPs of guests until the requested reply date has passed and your guests actually ARE tardy in their response!

Post # 4
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m with you. IM sure when the time comes for our invites that this will drive me insane. I plan things months in advance and I just can’t fathom how other people can’t do that too! When I get a wedding invite I know instantly whether I’ll come or not. Sorry that you’re stressing over this, I can’t really offer advice except to let you know you’re not alone!

Post # 6
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@FutureMrs86:  I’m with you all the way. Most of my wedding party hasn’t sent theirs either. DRIVING ME NUTS

Post # 8
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sister, you are singing my song. 

Our “RSVP by” date was this past Saturday and we still had almost 50 invitations out of sixty missing. When I called my family to ask if they were coming, a few said that they didn’t think they had to RSVP “since it’s family”. 


Post # 10
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m highly annoyed that I have a lot of people who have failed to send back their response cards considering we went out Save-The-Date Cards in Feb. Go figure lol The deadline has come and gone and still nothing. This the case for my Maid/Matron of Honor and her family. Go figure. But untimely RSVPs really do grind my gears

Post # 11
9026 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I don’t get how people can be annoyed with something when the due date isn’t yet past? If you want them in early set an early RSVP date.

Once the due dte is past yes you cn be annoyed until then I think you need to remember the phrase patience is a virtue.

Post # 12
22 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

Love. This. Thread.

I’m in the same boat. Of course there’s time left, but if you know you’re going, why wait? We’ve even stamped it for you AND given you self-sealing envelopes (ahem, bridal party..) Just send them back!

And yes, we know you’re coming, but there’s a formality to this all (again, refer to the stamped envelope we’ve provided) and just fill it out, and drop it in the box.

I always send mine back as soon as I get it- rarely do I not know the wedding is pending. I won’t chase down RSVPs until after the due date has passed, but with 135 physical invites mailed out, and maybe 30 gotten back within the week they’ve been out, I must say I am a bit shocked, too.

Post # 13
228 posts
Helper bee

I don’t want you paying for my plate if something comes up. I usually know if I’m planning to go but I wait to make it official. Shit happens. I really don’t see how you can be annoyed if the RSVP date hasn’t passed yet. Waiting to reply can be out of consideration. It’s far better than rsvping then cancelling or not showing up!

Post # 14
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m totally with you and I haven’t mailed out invites yet. Have you ever done an evite where you can SEE when someone has viewed the invite and yet it takes them 2 weeks to respond. That makes me insane!

Post # 15
3696 posts
Sugar bee

Ladies, we live in BrideWorld, where there is a heightened consciousness of formality and emphasis on etiquette. Most of our guests live in the RealWorld, and don’t have the benefit of all this rarefied knowledge. We just have to be patient with them. Watching the pot doesn’t make it boil any faster, you know?

Post # 16
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had a bunch of late responses, but I gave us plenty of time to contact the stragglers. There is no reason to worry when the deadline hasn’t passed yet. 

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