(Closed) Who else has experienced jealousy throughout their engagement?

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 32
Member
683 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@Chelwilly:  When I first read this I thought you said sister – not co-worker! For  a moment thought you were not going to invite your “sister” to your wedding! Ha!

 

Post # 33
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@bebelicious1:  Thank you!  And I so agree with you–why can’t everyone just be happy for everyone else.  I would hate to treat one of my friends the way she treated me! 

 

I really do hope she comes around, I’d hate to lose a friend this way.

 

Post # 34
Hostess
2997 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

my sister has always been jealous but it has gotten worse since our engagement.  I am not sure why, I think I have the life she always thought she would have but doesn’t…I don’t know.  She can never be happy for me and constantly insults us or has negative things to say. Everytime we bring up the wedding she says my Fiance is going to leave me before the wedding so there’s no point on continuing planning!! How rude, can you believe that!?

Post # 35
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think jealously is a natural human emotion. It’s when the jealously starts to adversely affect your relationship. I have experienced jealously, from bridesmaids of all people. But, it was something that I expected and didn’t take it personally. It’s more of a “i wish it were me” as opposed to “i want us both to be miserable”

Post # 37
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We put our announcment on facebook alot of people liked the update and family commented.  My fiance’s female family which consists of mostly bitter [insert bad word] didn’t like or comment on the update, btw they will not be invited to our wedding.   My fiances ex, upon hearing of our engagement said she was engaged but her “finance” smh is currently married.  I feel as though my co-workers are jealous of my engagement.  I work wih mostly men who probably have had crushes on me and they are married..  The moment I told everyone and showed my ring you should have seen the shocked faces two of the guys didn’t speak to me like they normally do after announcing my engagement.  Is it weird to feel they are always looking at my ring?  One guy said something negative about marriage bc his marriage didn’t work out.  My girlfriends are a different story!  For the most part they all “seemed” happy for me but deep down I think some may be a little bitter. Most women want to get married and have children my friends are waiting on the ring or can’t seem to find the right guy.  I have one friend who since my engagement has told her boyfriend that he better propose to her but a certain date bc she has set their wedding date already lol.  She made him give her a ring for her birthday which she now wears on her ring finger.  

Post # 38
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@honeyluv12:  

I have an old friend that has been in a LTR with a guy for about 10 years. They fight a lot and she has been pressuring him to marry her for 3 years. He still hasn’t done it and she is PISSED about it. They fight about it frequently.

I went on vacation with my boyfriend about a month before he proposed. I had a feeling it was coming and thought it may happen on this trip. This friend called me on vacation to say that if my bf proposes on this trip she will hate me forever but still be happy for me. She was even messaging my mom on fb to find out if she knew anything about him proposing. She seemed relieved to find out he ddint do it on that trip.  But when he finally did, she said “congrats” thats about it. She said she gets miffed when she sees people get engaged rather quickly (we were together a year and 3 months) while she has been waiting 10 years. oh well. 

Post # 39
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@BlushingBrideNYC:  

@chelwilly

Ladies with jealous/snarky sisters – are they in the wedding party? I don’t think I’d do it, but I’d really like to ask my sister to step down as Maid/Matron of Honor or even Bridesmaid or Best Man. I always feel terrible after i talk to her, and she doesn’t respond to my phone calls/texts.

It’s been like this for the past six months, and I don’t see it changing. I tend to be a lil’ co-dependent, so I think about it a lot lately. Asking her to step down would bring a new family-wide level of drama to the day.  I’ll probably start a spinoff thread tomorrow…

Post # 41
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Someone close to me has been acting strange since my engagement. She hasn’t asked a single question like let’s see the ring or how did he propose? I was Maid/Matron of Honor at her wedding so it’s pretty odd. She’s always been the competitive type, but she’s married so I’m not sure what she’d be envious of. 

Post # 42
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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@discokitty:  My sister is in my wedding party… Even though I nor my Fiance want her in it. But like you stated, it would bring family-wide drama if she wasn’t in it. I’m like you and would love to ask my sister to step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She is most definitely not my Maid/Matron of Honor but my mom keeps trying… In fact she called me last night to see if I would make her my Matron of Honor since she’ll be married by the time I get married… I won’t do it though… I’m interested to see your spin off thread, I’ll have to look for it!!

 

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@Chelwilly:I feel for you!! Why is it that a sister will be mad if she’s not your Maid/Matron of Honor but she’s unwilling to do any work?! Your sister sounds a lot like mine, which sucks…

 

My sister gets married  2 months from today… And I can never talk about my wedding because it’s all about her. I’m sure you ladies know how it is! Mention one word and she has to start talking about hers or start digging into you and start bringing you down. I hope that things will be better once she is married… but I fear they won’t…

 

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@JLR1982:  Now those are the people I never get!! What exactly is she even jealous of?! There must be something lacking in her relationship that you have!

Post # 43
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve experienced a little jealousy, but I understand and I know they are just sad about their own situation.

My sister is older than me, had a child at 17, and has dated awful jerks most of her life (she puts physical attraction way above personality). She is always making depressing “why can’t I find a good man” comments whenever my engagement comes up.  It also doesn’t help that she has it stuck in her head that I’ve had some sort of perfect life with no struggle. Very far from the truth, but I keep my difficult situations private. 

Some of my other friends are jealous because they’ve been in relationships a long time (4+ years) with no proposal in sight. Even some of my married friends have expressed jealousy because they had to wait long to get a proposal. I don’t think our relationship has been THAT short (2.5 years at time of proposal) but some of them started dating in high school so their timeline was much longer (6-8 years before proposal). We’re all 24-25 now.

Since these are all people I care about, as opposed to “frenemies,” I try my best to be patient and sensitive to their feelings. But at the same time, I’m ecstatic to be marrying the best man in the world for me, and no jealousy will dampen my joy 🙂

 

Post # 44
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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@EmilyJoy:  Oh wow,  your sister sounds like a bridesmaid I was in a wedding party with last year! She had gotten married the year before this wedding, and every time ANY thing came up related to my friend’s wedding, she would use it as an excuse to talk about her wedding. What she did for her wedding and why it was so cool, or how creative she was, and how much everyone loved x, y, and z about her wedding. Then she would make passive-aggressive remarks and judge my friend’s decisions. So not cool! 

Post # 46
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes, I had people that may have taken the jealous route but for the most part I tried to look at it from their eyes. Your whole engagement should not be about your wedding. Lots of life going on around you. And while I was blissfully planning my wedding and worrying about colors coordinating. Friends had difficulty in life. Divorce, medical scares. Family issues. These jealous friends and family sometimes need a little love from us.

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