(Closed) Who farted first?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 76
4083 posts
Honey bee

Ooooh our first fart story is pretty good! My (now) DH had been avoiding farting in front of me when we were first dating. He would even tell me he had to leave the room to go fart. His reasoning was that once it happened, it was never going to stop, so he wanted to maintain a little decorum for the time being. Okay, sure. One night, a few weeks in to seeing each other almost daily, we were falling asleep after fooling around and I was big spoon. Well, as DH drifted off to sleep he let one rip right on my naked thigh. He woke himself up doing it and started hysterically laughing, then he rolled over and hugged me so I couldn’t run away. He’s been farting ever since :/

Man I thought my story was funny until I read the others. I’m in tears over here. It’s all about the bass.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  whitums.
Post # 77
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I did… in the middle of the night the first time I slept over.  I thought I was safe since it was at night… and then he got out of bed to use the bathroom.  So either he heard or I woke the man up!

Post # 78
198 posts
Blushing bee

I started cracking up before even opening this thread. I honestly can’t remeber who did it first, but we certainly don’t hold anything back now. I can’t imagine living with someone and having to hold it in or walk into another room..

Post # 79
15 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

OMG I’m dying with all of your stories!

The first time it was me. We we’re vacationing at Disneyland and we were asleep in our room. I had never wanted to fart in front of him because well how embarrassing! So I had been holding one in since the day prior. Not to mention I had eaten dried apricots,  hot chocolate and ate a chimmichanga in the park so I was brewing. I guess I let one rip so loud in my sleep it woke him up! I was still asleep until I heard OMG!  The look of horror on his face and his hair was sticking straight up like a ducks butt was priceless!  He said he thought somebody was in our room dragging a table across the floor but then realized theres carpet in the room! I couldn’t stop laughing for days, in fact we still crack up about it now. I’m not allowed to eat that combination of foods anymore and everytime my hubby does it he tells me he’s just trying to catch up to me Lol.


Post # 80
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Probably me, but much more epic. It was our second or third date, and we were getting ready to go out. He borrowed my only bathroom to fix his hair and brush his teeth. I had the sudden irrestible urge to poop. He was taking FOREVER! The door was already ajar…so…

I waited until I couldnt wait anymore, then I burst into the room, thrust myself onto the toilet and proclaimed “If this is a problem, we aren’t going to work out!” Then unleashed a crazy, NOISY dump.

He barely even glanced over from what he was doing.

Post # 81
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
snowflake8:  lmaoooooooooooooooo! I love this thread!

I did first. He still feels weird to do it front of me but I ain’t got time for that!

Post # 83
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

He did.

But he used to hold in his farts until he thought I had left in the morning.  The second I closed the bedroom door he would let a huge fart rip.  I always heard it and finally burst out laughing one day and he was so embarassed.  It was hilarious!

Post # 84
484 posts
Helper bee

He did – pretty much the first time we were ever alone together. He’s also never bothered closing the toilet door if we are alone. 

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