(Closed) Who gets a guest?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Giving out guests
    Everyone over a certain age gets a guest. : (6 votes)
    15 %
    Some people get guests, some people don't... check your invitation! : (33 votes)
    85 %
  • Post # 3
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    We let anyone who was engaged, living together, or in a serious relationship where we knew the SO bring a guest. We also let a few friends who wouldn’t know anyone at the wedding bring a guest so they wouldn’t be stuck alone all night.

    Post # 4
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Here’s what we’re doing:

    Anyone that’s been in a long-term relationship/living together/married gets a guest. Also, everyone in our wedding party gets an “and guest” regardless of their relationship status.


    Post # 5
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Married, engaged, or living together is the rule.

    We did married & engaged & couples who had been together ATLEAST a yr (we did not include living together considering some move in right after meeting). No one finding a date just for the day. lol

    Post # 6
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We’re only inviting SOs of guests if they are married, engaged, or living together. 

    Post # 7
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    They only got guests if they were living with the person, engaged, or married. I didn’t care how old they were.

    Post # 8
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    We just don’t have room for everyone to have a guest. We are only giving plus ones to people who are in a serious relationship (6 months or more dating) and to married people, of course.

    Post # 9
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I am in that same boat.  If you are married, engaged, living together OR if you won’t know other people at the wedding then you get an “and guest” otherwise, no. 

    I have a huge problem with strangers at my wedding.  Also due to numbers constraints, I have not included 44 members of my family.  It is not acceptable to allow randoms at the wedding when I’ve left off 44 people from my own family.

    Post # 10
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Right now our thinking is that everyone engaged, married, or with a serious SO (living together or not) gets a guest.  However we have a few circumstances where we will invite people with a guest.  For example, FI’s fraternity brothers are all married or have a serious SO except for 1.  We will invite him with a guest because we don’t want him to feel like the 11th wheel.  Also, my friend who will be travelling from North Jersey (to DE) will be invited with a a guest. 


    The one good thing about our guest list is that everyone will know someone else there so we don’t really feel terrible about not adding “plus ones”!

    Post # 11
    2142 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    SOs only if they are: married, engaged or had been dating before FH and I got engaged (which means 2 of the latter). His parents just decided they don’t like this because his brother just started dating (they tend to overreact with these things) but tough cookies, its our wedding and they’re not paying for it.

    Also, no one is invited with just “and guest” those that are invited are named or fall under “and family”. We can’t fit all the people we want to that we know into the venue so we don’t see the point in inviting people that we don’t know.

    All the out of town people are in clumps (family, my hometown friends, etc) so we don’t have to worry about anyone feeling “extra”

    Post # 12
    2192 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I really don’t care to have strangers dining on my dollar(and a big whopping dollar that is!) so the rule is that when the invites go out, only those in serious relationships get a plus one, including the bridal party. 

    My feeling is that weddings are a great place for singles to meet other great singles.  So if someone brings a random person who they know is just a “wedding date” what if they are missing the man of their dreams as an end result?

    Post # 13
    7 posts
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @AEMalmostK: We used this criteria…

    Choose any/all that apply:


    Living Together 

    Longterm/serious relationship(6m,1yr+) 

    We are friends with +1 person also/Do we like +1/Do they like us (don’t want surly, mean ppl at your wedding)

    Post # 14
    925 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    What about out-of-towners? Do they all need a guest if we have a bunch of other friends coming to the wedding that they know really well?  I feel like per etiquette we will need to give them a guest, but per our budget it would be easier for them to come solo (the ones that don’t have serious bf/gf or fiances).

    Post # 15
    4355 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We are going to give everyone over a certain age the option of a guest. It will just make our day more enjoyable to them, plus as far as it’s looking we’ll need to meet a minimum number for the rooms we want to book so we have no issue of trying to stay UNDER a certain number of guests.

    Post # 16
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    If its within budget I think its nice to invite everyone past a certain age with a guest. I know that cant always be done though.

    Im not engaged but have been in a relationship for over 3 years. I didnt attend a wedding last summer because I wasn’t given a +1 (FWIW, the bride and groom had been together less time than us). It was a friend from high school so even though I would have known other people there, I had no desire to spend the day solo. I think sometimes, it needs to be done on a case by case basis.

    The topic ‘Who gets a guest?’ is closed to new replies.

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