Post # 1
Hi Bees! I have an invitation etiquette question here (or rather several).
I have two couples I’m inviting with similar situations. I’m wondering if Couple 1 should recieve a single invite between them, with the same rule being applied to Couple 2, or if all four people should recieve their own invitations?
Couple 1: My grandfather and his lady friend. They have been together for about 10 years now but chose not to get married and do not live at the same address. Do both recieve an invitation or can I send one to my grandfather including her name on it?
Couple 2: Cousin-in-law and girlfriend. They have been together for approximately 7 years, do not live together, and are not engaged (I’m including the length of their relationship to demonstrate the seriousness of it; not just a one month fling lol). Again, do they recieve two seperate invites or can I send one to my future cousin-in-law and include his girlfriend’s name on it?
I also have a question about when teengaers/young adults receive their own invitations.<br /><br />Guest 1: Fiance’s cousin. He is 16 currently and will be when our Save the Dates go out but he will be 17 when the invitations go out. He still lives at home as he’s in high school but will be graduating in June, around when we will send our invitations out, and our wedding is in August. By the time our wedding comes around, he may be living at home or may be living in residence or in his own apartment for college. Can he be included with his mother on the save the date since he is still a ‘child’ for all intents and purposes, or does he get his own invitation because of his potential living situation?
Any links to where you found answers to these etiquette questions would be appreciated. Thank you!<br /><br />P.S. I am only doing ‘plus ones’ for guests who are in long term or committed relationships. Did you state this in some way on your invites or should it just be implied who is invited based on the names on the invitation?
Post # 2
Kaylaa: I’m not sure the formal etiquette but when I did my invites for people in relationships I sent the invite to one address with both names to the person who is the relation/close friend… so the one invite we sent to FBIL with his and his girlfriends name on it.
Even though they don’t live together they’re still in a relationship, I think that’s fine to send it that way. We did +1 to people who were in committed relationships too, I think it’s nicer to have the persons name on it, it’ll be clear that way.
In terms on age, anyone over 19 (legal age here) received their own invite. But, realistically your 17 year old cousin is not going to care about getting his own invite… save the paper.
Post # 3
winterwoodlandbride15: Thanks for the advice and suggestions. (Judging by your username and 19+ comment, we are both Canadian brides 🙂 ) I’m not so concerned about the 17 year old caring about receiving his own invite as ensuring his family doesn’t feel he is an after thought.
Post # 4
Kaylaa: I can’t speak to the etiquette answer, but I will speak to how I perceive this.
Do you have a good relationship with the significant others where you speak to them separately from your family member? If so, then they’d get their own invitation. If you only interface with them when you’re around your family member, then I would send the invitation to the family member & include the name of their significant other.
For those who are not in college and living at home, I just included them in their parents’ invitation. I also included some college age cousins in their parents’ invitations because I was never given their address at school despite asking and/or they would never have responded if I had sent it to them directly.
Post # 5
Kaylaa: Ahhhhh! Makes sense. And Yeaaa! Canadian bride! Haha.
Obviously I don’t know your family, so if you think they would be offended by grouping the famjam invite together then send him another one.
Our families are pretty casual so I did grouping and hand delivered most of the invites as well.
Post # 6
Kaylaa: I don’t know the etiquette behind it either – but I would send one invitation to one address with both their names on it. I wouldn’t be offended by this, at all.
I would also group your cousin w/his parents, but if he moves out, send him his own invitation.
Post # 7
For couples 1 and 2, I would send one invite to each couple with it addressed to family member and the SO. For the youngster, I would just add his name to the parents’ invitation since it’s not clear where he’ll be living later.
Post # 8
If they live in different places I would give seperate invites.
Post # 9
I gave each couple one invite with both of their names on it. Mr. and Mrs. or if not married Mr. and Ms.
Post # 10
Definitely just one invitation per couple. My fiance and I have been together since we were in high school, and any wedding we went to (before we were ever engaged) was addressed to me and him, sent to me. For the cousin… Include him in family. I’d say if they’re 18+ they get their own, but even if he’s moved out by the wedding, he might not even know his new address by the time you send invites. He won’t care, and with his age is say its fine, especially givem his kind of being in limbo address-wise.
Also a Canadian bride here 🙂
Post # 11
Actually, if you’re unsure about the cousin, ask his mom where you should send it as you don’t know where he’ll be living, she’ll probably tell you to include him on hers
Post # 12
When we did our invitations for couples we sent it to them as a couple irregardless of if they lived together or not. This was definitely the case for the best man and his girlfriend and my SIL and her boyfriend.
I would send them the invites as a couple (so only two invites)
As for the cousin I would add him to the parents.
ETA: Or you could do him a separate invite but still send to the parents house. I am sure they can make sure he receives it. That is what we did with my cousin because we didn’t know where he would be
Post # 13
cizzar: Thanks, we are the same as you and you fiance and got invitations addressed to both of us. Putting it in that perspective helped. I just didn’t know if 40+ couples or 80+ couples would be a different situation!
Post # 14
I do know the etiquette, and every one of your guests deserves the same minimum respectful treatment: and invitation sent to him or her by name, at his or her own address.
So Grampa and his lady-friend get two invitations, one to each address. Similarly cousin-in-law and girlfriend get two invitations.
As for fiance’s cousin: is he a child who goes where his adults take him? Or (as I presume given he is old enough to drive) is he an independent person who keeps his own social calendar and goes to events on his own, accepting or declining according to his own schedule rather than going where he is told on his parent’s schedule? If the latter, he gets his own invitation too.