Post # 1
Yet another random detail question… Of course I have counted the groom, groomsmen, and Fathers for bouts, and the bridesmaids, Moms, and my DOC for corsages, but who else? The officiant? His wife? Ushers? Other family members? We will have two grandparents, several aunts and uncles (some who we are very close to, others we are not at all close to).
I can see giving them to ushers since they are sort of ‘representing’ us at the ceremony, but I have other friends who will be doing things during the wedding (e.g. guestbook duties, etc.) – and that will really add up!
Also, I feel like we will have to make a rule about family members, since we can’t just give them to the relatives we feel close to but not those that we don’t, even if they’re of the same ‘status’ (two 1st aunts, etc.)
Who are you giving bouts and corsages to?
Post # 3
in my opinion… give them to the people who have had a significant roll in your wedding or in your lives. e.i. parents, g-parents, bridal party (ushers included), i don’t really feel it’s necessary to give a guestbook person/ program person flowers, b/c half the time their clothes don’t work with the flowers (it’s happened to me twice when i’ve had those roles). and it could go either way for the officiant, you could write him a nice thank you note instead…
here’s what we’re doing:
bouts for groom, groomsmen, dads, g-dads, ushers
bouquets for: me, bmaids, and then moms g-moms get little mini bouquets.
for our pastor were writing a nice thank you note with a gift card to a nice restaurant in the area… in addition to the love donation to his church.
no need for pastors wife, she gets the dinner with her hubby! =)
Post # 4
Bouts to the groom, FI’s brother (best man) and my father (FI’s father passed away last year). Bouquets for me and my sister (MOH). (That is the extent of the bridal party.) Corsages for my mom and FI’s mom. We are thinking about a wrist corsage for FI’s daughter and a bout for his son, but I don’t know what we’ve decided. We go back and forth between thinking its a nice gesture and thinking that they possibly don’t actually care.
Technically you treat the officiant and his wife as guests, so they get an invitation and of course dinner, but you wouldn’t get a bout and corsage for guests. It’s nice of you to get one for your DOC, but if you start buying for vendors, then why wouldn’t you get them for the photographers and the musicians… you’re right, it goes on and on.
The question of grandparents is interesting – I would be tempted to get a corsage for my grandmother if she was still alive. I would probably include grandparents if you can afford it, but not include any helpers who are not technically part of the wedding party (guest book attendant, gift table attendant, ushers if that job is not being done by the GMs).
Post # 5
I am giving my signature book girl, the girl doing my readings, the people carrying the gifts down the aisle all boutinears, including what you have listed. Anyone involved in the marriage ceremony in anyway is getting one.
Post # 6
Sounds like you’ve covered all bases. Only other people I would consider providing flowers for is your grandparents. That would be a really nice gesture to recognize them as someone important.
Don’t think it’s necesary for the officiant, aunts, etc. especially if there’s one that are closer than others. It would be a public display that you like one aunt more than the other, which might cause issues (unless you’re OK with it and really want to achnowledge that aunt!).
Post # 7
when i did flowers for my FSIL’s wedding, she gave bouts and corsages to EVERYONE under the sun. i guess because it was free labor, haha. besides the gms/best man, all dads, granddads, uncles, ushers, and people who she wanted to honor (who helped out with the wedding) got bouts. all moms, grandmoms, aunts, and people who helped out with the wedding got corsages. it was insane, as i had to make about 30 bouts and 8 corsages.
i would say it’s nice to give them to grandparents, but i think extended family (aunts, uncles) is a little excessive. i also am not sure i would give it to people who helped out, as risk of offending someone who i may have overlooked (flowers can be so political, you know!). and though i love her, i wouldn’t give it to my DOC, nor to my officiant (they’re vendors).
call me crazy (really, i am), but we’re not doing bouts or corsages (or bm bouquets). i’ll have my bouquet and he’ll have a bout. it’s a ton of money (and work if i DIYed) for something that i don’t think will make or break the wedding.
Post # 8
I haven’t heard of a coordinator receiving one before, and I don’t think they need one. Really, with all the running around that has to happen, I wonder if it would just get in the way. (Any other coordinators can feel free to correct me!)
We went minimalist on ours: bouts for Groom, Best Man, Ring Bearer. Wrist Corsages for Maid of Honor and Flower Girl.
My bonus mom initially wanted one (since she was marrying us), but it didn’t look right with her goreous outfit. And to be honest, I could have skipped the corsage and bout for the kids.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for the comments so far. It sounds like people are doing all different things.
I should clarify about my DOC – she is not a hired vendor, but my amazing friend and former roommate, who volunteered to handle DOC duties. I would have asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if she hadn’t volunteered first – so she absolutely gets a corsage, if she wants one 🙂
With the officiant, I think I just thought it would look nicer in pictures if he had one, but I have no idea what color tie he will be wearing so there’s always that complication.
If we have ushers that aren’t groomsmen, I think it might be good for them have something that signifies that they are involved with the ceremony. But maybe that makes the case for just getting the groomsmen to handle things!
Post # 10
I didn’t even think of the pastor! OH no! Thanks for the reminder!! But I don’t think I will give one to his wife if she attends!
We are giving my aunts each a corsage! I have 5. But I’m really close to all of them so we wanted to include them as well! We are also extending it to the one set of grandparents and then another set that are pseudo g-parents! They would be really honored so we decided to include them too!
Yes to ushers..no to guestbook person!
I think I would stop there!
Post # 11
I think the guestbook person should get one. They are doing you a favor and it’s kind of a crappy job, so I think they should be honored in someway.
Post # 12
can someone tell me what they’re doing about stepparents?? are you giving bouts/corsages to those individuals who didn’t have any role in your life (aside from the fact that they married your divorced parent later in life?)
Post # 13
I think we are going to give bouts/corsages to step parents just to avoid unnecessary drama.
Post # 14
I giving a corsage to a step-grandma…even though my mom said not too! HA! But for sure that would be very obvious if she didn’t have one. To avoid any issues I’m giving her one too!
Post # 15
I love this thread. I find it so amusing that something as beautiful as flowers can be so political and cause so much drama, but we can all relate!
Doesn’t it seem like everyone just wants a public acknowledgement that they are important to the bride & groom, during every step of the wedding process, let alone during the big day?