(Closed) Who gets invited to Bridal Shower?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview

General rule of thumb is, if they are invited to the wedding, invite them to the shower 🙂

Post # 3
Member
881 posts
Busy bee

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SammiCoJo:  Showers are not tit for tat. Just because they didn’t have a shower, or you weren’t invited, doesn’t preclude you from putting them on your guest list for the host of your shower to invite. HOWEVER – everyone invited to the shower MUST also be invited to the wedding.

I would invite all family/friends to my shower because I wanted them there. 

Post # 4
Member
8487 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If they aren’t invited to the wedding, don’t invite them to the shower.

Post # 6
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Simsbury 1820 House

Easy. All the females invited to the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
4539 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Exactly what

View original reply
SomethingBlue1009: said. All females that are invited to the wedding. I did exclude the women who weren’t local (more than 2 hours away) because I knew they wouldn’t travel for the shower.

Post # 9
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

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SammiCoJo:  I’d invite all the women invited to the wedding who live within commutable distance of where your shower is being held. Whether they choose to attend based on how close they are to you will be pretty obvious in the RSVPs  -typically, your and your FI’s family members will attend, your friends will mostly attend, his female friends and his friends’ wifves/fiancees/gfs may attend if they are close to you.

Post # 10
Member
8457 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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allyson.m88:  “General rule of thumb is, if they are invited to the wedding, invite them to the shower” — WHAT?!? No, it isn’t!!! Showers are for nearest and dearest who will WANT to give you an extra present in addition to the one they’re probaby bringing to the wedding. You should absolutely NOT invite every female who’s invited to the wedding. Unless you’re having a VERY intimate wedding, inviting all the women is just a huge gift-grab. Even if you don’t mean it that way, that’s the way it will be seen. Good lord, please do not encourage this!

I wonder if you got confused and were thinking of this rule, which is iron-clad: If they’re invited t the shower, they must be invited to the wedding. That is true. The opposite most definitely is not.

ETA: OMG, where are alll you people coming up with this idea? Showers are specifically intended to fawn over you and bring you presents, and only your closest friends and family should be invited to that type of event.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Daisy_Mae.
Post # 11
Member
2072 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you’re safe inviting the other halves of your fiancé’s friends, they probably hope to get to know you better.

Post # 13
Member
8457 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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SammiCoJo:  Please go with your gut. Acquaintances are not going to want to come to your shower. They’ll be honored that you invited them to the wedding, but will be confused and think you’re greedy if they’re invited to the shower.

These are all quotes from respected sources, and there are plenty more:
It’s up to the host to decide the number of guests. A shower should be an intimate party—not a gathering that rivals the wedding—so the guest list is usually made up of the couple’s close friends, family, and attendants. The host usually consults the bride to be sure that shower guests are wedding guests. — http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/new-times-new-traditions/129-who-can-host-a-shower

Unless you’re having an intimate wedding, you needn’t invite every female wedding guest. Bridal shower guests generally include the bride’s closest female friends and relatives, and sometimes those of the groom — especially if his mother is hosting or helping to plan the party. All shower guests should be invited to the wedding, but that doesn’t mean everyone who’s invited to the wedding has to attend the bridal shower. — https://www.theknot.com/content/bridal-shower-invite-etiquette

Since the entire event is centered on gifts, when you attend a wedding/bridal shower, you always bring a gift and the gifts are opened as part of the festivities. As such, bridal showers are designed to be more intimate affairs where the bride can spend quality time with her closest friends and family. …. If you are hosting a bridal shower, please know that you should not invite every female or couple on the wedding guest list. Make it a fun event where the bride-to-be can really enjoy those closest to her. — http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cheryl-seidel-/who-should-be-invited-to-_b_5378936.html

Post # 14
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
SammiCoJo:  If you enjoy their company and they’re invited to the wedding, then just invite them to the shower. I don’t see the big deal in analyzing who should get invited to a shower. If they don’t want to come b/c they don’t know anyone, then they won’t come. 

Post # 15
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If you invite them and they don’t feel it’s appropriate to come, they can decline. Obviously they felt close enough to you to invite you to their baby showers, so I say invite them.

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