(Closed) Who gets invited to the shower?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Who’s throwing the shower? Do you know if more than one person is planning on throwing one? It kind of depends on the situation, but I would say it’s up to you. For the one my Future Mother-In-Law is throwing, any female invited to the wedding is fine with me, but for the one my BMs are throwing, I only want my close girlfriends (so we can be a little more wild-haha!)


Post # 4
46 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

I invited a lot of people to my shower. I am not planning it but I think my guest list is around 40 or so people. I invited some coworkers, classmates, family(mine and the fiances) and we have a lot of close family friends who have been around since I was little. My mom also invited some people that she knows from work. The only people from out of the state I invited were my 2 aunts who I am very close to. So I didn’t invite all the women who are invited to the wedding.

 I think that at the end of it all it’s really up to you and what kind of event you want it to be. Do you want a large or small shower?

Post # 5
2640 posts
Sugar bee

The people who get invited to the shower are those who are close to you.  Showers should be relatively intimate, or they look like a second gift grab for your wedding.  If you are having a very small wedding reception, it’s possible that inviting all the women is appropriate.  However, the nubmer of shower guests shouldn’t be more than 40 people, according to the Emily Post types.  (Personally I think if you keep it near that number, that’s OK.  Everyone has different family sizes, etc.)  If you have a huge family and many friends, consider having separate showers.

Everyone invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding.  But not everyone invited to the wedding, should necessarily be invited to the shower.


Post # 6
21 posts
  • Wedding: September 2008

I took a slightly different approach.  I wanted to have both guys and gals there and have it be more of a cookout rather than play the silly wedding shower games.  It was a red sox theme, everyone wore red sox hats, shirts, etc.  We played volleyball, had typical concession foods (fried dough, nachos, dogs, etc).  It was a great time.  We asked people to save paper and time and not wrap gifts so, when it came to opening gifts time, it was breeze.  The list was a whole other issue.  But, we got it down by being immediate cousins, aunts and uncles and close friends.  (our friends are like family to us so it was important to include them).  It ended up being still a lot of people but, it was ok because we had it "low key".  So I guess after all my rambling, its up to what style it will be how far out the list will go. I wouldnt necessarily invite women you’ve never met unless they are close friends with your mom or Mother-In-Law.  I would talk with the, and see what they think. 


Post # 8
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I had over 300 people invited to the wedding.  I wanted a small initmate shower.  So I narrowed it to my closest friends and family.  Those people from out of town where not invited, and from my FH’s family and friends only his mother, sister and grandmother were invited.  We had about 30 people total this past weekend.

Post # 9
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I gave a list to my Maid/Matron of Honor that had only in-town close friends and relatives. Then, we decided to have another shower in my hometown for relatives that live up north. This way, the cost is lower for my Maid/Matron of Honor and people don’t have to travel for a shower and a wedding.

Post # 10
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I gave my list to my FI’s sister, one of the bridesmaids and she gave it to her mom (my FMIL’s friends are planning my shower).  I had about 25 people on my list, and with girls on his side of the family and friend, there will be about 30-35 people.  We have large families and our wedding will be about 250-275, but alot of them are out of town.  If they were in the same area Im sure Id have more people at my shower.  The people invited are mostly family and then a couple coworkers/friends.

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