(Closed) Who gets the say in your Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Who gets the say in Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower planning?
    The parties should be exactly what the brides want : (7 votes)
    16 %
    It's okay for the bride to have some input for the party-throwers : (31 votes)
    70 %
    The people throwing the parties should do all the planning : (6 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    you definetely should have some input. But ultimately the person planning it makes the decisions as well.

    If your not happy with what you think they are planning maybe sit them down and tell them to scale it back a notch. From the little things that you have heard its not you and offer suggestions to suit you and hopefully they listen.

    It wont be a good party if you dont enjoy it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would say you should definitely get some input.  I am actually have two bridal showers and bachelorette parties… I am orginally from WI and half my girls are WI, and the other half are from MN, where I live now.  My WI one will be lowkey and smaller for sure as my Matron of Honor is just that way.  My Maid of Honor that is from MN is a little more wild and crazy, but we are older and neither of us want to do any too crazy.  My Maid asked me specifically what I wanted to do.  I just don’t want any blow-up penises or any of that as I am a teacher, and going back to school for my Principal’s license, so literally, I just can’t do that… My girls understand and are willing to do whatever!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    The bridesmaids generally plan these parties so they call the shots. However if your adamant about wanting things low key then they should respect. I do think they’re just trying to make your parties fun & you should be gracious with whatever they end up planning, hopefully it’ll be what you want. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I agree you should have some input – I mean these are supposed to be the people that know you best.  They should be able to plan a party you want without conferring with you, but I think sometimes they get so wrapped up in the planning they forget it’s for the bride and not them! Good luck! I’m not aware what’s going on (or when) either of mine are so…I’m interested to see what happens…

    Post # 7
    Member
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m anal when it comes to anything involving me so I’ve had the say in everything. However, everyone is different. I was Maid/Matron of Honor last year for one of my best friends and her mom took over the bridal shower. I disagreed with what her mother wanted so I backed off from planning it bc I knew my friend wouldnt like it. It was a surprise so my friend (the bride) had no say. She hated it but it wasn’t my fault. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    8662 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    my shower is a surprise, i’ve casually mentioned some things that i would like at my shower, but my Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaids are the ones planning it.

    my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning my bachelorette party, but i told her what i wanted.  she is taking care of all the details.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    The individuals throwing the parties should take into consideration the bride’s preferences, but they are not required to follow those preferences to a T.

    Case in point, bride told me she didn’t want her shower to be at someone’s house or a restaurant, wanted me to invite 52 people, wanted it to be a surprise (the bride works both Saturdays and Sundays every single weekend!), and wanted it to be potluck style. Well if it’s not at a house or a restaurant, that leaves me with an event venue as my only option in February. Renting one of those starts at $500 and I’d still need to supply tables, chairs, and decor. And a potluck is great if most people are local, but 75% of her invite list was out of towners. So that would be 25% of the guests providing food for 100% of the people. Logistically, that does not work. So I said, “screw it” to her preferences because they didn’t match with reality. One friend hosted at her house, I self-catered the whole thing, and it turned out lovely. The bride cried tears of joy. In the end it didn’t matter that I didn’t follow her exact preferences; what mattered was that I pulled off the surprise (talked to her boss on the DL so they would not schedule her to work that day), managed to keep the low key vibe that she was going for in the first place, and managed to make it a day she will not soon forget.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i asked my girls to please not throw me a kitschy penis-shaped-suckers-and-plastic-tiaras bachelorette party, and they listened (we’re going on a girls’ weekend out in the country for wine and chocolate tastings!) i don’t think i could ever throw a party the bride didn’t want, wouldn’t they want the bride to have a good time?

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