(Closed) “Who gives this woman?”

posted 10 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
69 posts
Worker bee

We may or may not, but there was a nice response in an episode of "Brothers and Sisters" – the mother says “She gives herself freely. With my love and my blessing.” I thought that was a sweet way of doing it!

Post # 4
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

marianneinvan, I LOVE that! I’d have totally used that if I’d come across it before the wedding.

It was important to me that the our wedding ceremony be as equal as possible. (I don’t judge other people’s decisions, this was simply important to me.) So, when it was time to ask the "who gives this woman" question, our officiant asked "Who is here to support these two in their marriage?" At which point, my brother (and the "bridal escort") said, "On behalf of Bonnie’s friends and family, I offer our support and out bless." My DH’s best man/best friend then said, "On behalf of Jeremy’s friends and family, I offer our support and out blessing." It was a very special moment for both of us. I’m really glad we did it the way we did.

Good luck! 

Post # 5
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

We used that – someone posted it on here before.  actually, they asked, who gives this woman to be married here today, and my dad said "she gives herself freely, with the love and support of her family and friends".  I knew it would mean a lot to him to do that, but I didn’t want the traditional phrasing.

Post # 7
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I’m using that phrase or something very similar to it in our ceremony. We’re using the uber-traditional "sickness and health" one — we like the idea that it’s been used for hundreds of years for thousands of couples, and is still meaningful. Also, I’m going straight from living with my parents (when I’m not at school) to being married, so it made sense to me to have my parents "give me away".

Post # 8
106 posts
Blushing bee

Our minister asked something like, "Who stands with this woman to represent her family?"

Post # 9
1 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

marrianeinvan: oh thanks so much for mention …I’m so including it my own ceremony draft!

Post # 10
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I like maryalison’s suggestion – if I had thought of that, I might have used it.  As it was, we left it out altogether.  My dad walked me down the aisle, and handed me off to my Fiance at the altar.  I haven’t lived with my parents for over 20 years, so to me it seemed a little facetious to have them "give me away."  Interestingly enough, our pastor just assumed that we wouldn’t – the question never came up in writing the ceremony.  So I guess he knows us pretty well…

Post # 11
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

i love that marianne… i am writing to our pastor right now!

Post # 12
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Here is the wording from our wedding cermony and the "giving away" part. I didn’t want it so it was just ME being "given away" especially being that I haven’t lived at home with my parents for upteen years!  It also includes what was said to bring the children into the marriage. – Hope this helps

The minister may address the families of the bride and groom:Will the parents of Ed and Debi please stand  

The minister may address the families of the bride and groom: The marriage of Ed and Debi unites two families and creates a new one. Who presents this woman and this man to be married to each other?

Both families answer: We do.

 Will you receive Ed and Debi into your family and uphold them with your love as they establish themselves as a family within your own?

Both families answer: We will.

The minister may address the children of the bride and groom:

Will Jennifer and Rebecca please step forward.

minister addressing each child by name:    Jennifer Lynette and Rebecca Ann, you are entering a new family. Will you give to this new union your trust, love and affection and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them in their marriage?       

 Each child answers: We / I will.

Minister addressing the bride and groom: Ed and Debi, will you be faithful and loving parents to Jennifer and Rebecca, give them your trust, love and affection and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them throughout their lives?

We / I will.

*During this time we gave the girls diamond eternity pendants to wear as a symbol of our union as a family.

Then our minister went into the "Dearly Beloved….." etc.  


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