(Closed) Who goes first?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The groom ALWAYS goes first because essentially he is the one who initated the marriage. This goes along with the wedding vows.

Post # 4
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

But, you can do whatever you think looks best. Since you went with bride first on one thing maybe the groom on another so it’s equal, or you could just do them all the same, What I said earlier is just traditional.

Post # 5
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i put his name first on the save the dates but my name first on the invites. plus it sounds better with his name first….chris and kate  vs  kate and chris

Post # 6
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve always heard that the woman goes first until the couple is actually married — at that point, the man comes first. That’s the rule we followed for our Save-The-Date Cards & Invites.

Post # 7
2599 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

There are so many different versions of ‘etiquette’ on this it’s crazy 🙂  I’ve always told my brides to use what they like best, but to try and keep it consistent through everything printed… so for our save the dates, invites, and programs my name is first.

We also used the same ‘ladies first’ rule in addressing our invites to unmarried couples and in our escort cards.  For same sex couples we listed who we were closer to first.

Good luck!

Post # 8
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

We are using the “ladies first” rule on everything.  My name is first on all stationary, website, etc.  

Post # 9
2260 posts
Buzzing bee

I know this may not be right etiquette-ly but sometimes I find that couples names’ sound  better a certain way. For example, a couple I’m friends with will always be Alex & Michelle to me. Michelle & Alex just sound off to me. And that kinda works with my SO and I, depending on if its my full first name or my nickname. So its either His Name & My Nickname or My Name & His Name. So maybe that might work for you and your Fiance too?

Post # 11
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I always thought that the bride’s name goes first on everything wedding-related.. then after you’re married, hubby’s name is first.

Post # 12
157 posts
Blushing bee

traditionally, the grooms name goes first. However, it’s up to you. I don’t think anyone will notice whose name is first, except maybe older relatives and/or parents. To everyone else, it won’t matter.

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