Post # 1
I want to know :-). One of the biggest things Boyfriend or Best Friend and I struggle with is the fact we know we want to get married but have only been together a bit over 6months. We likely won’t get engaged until a year (give or take a month or so) but I’m interested in hearing from others who got engaged before a year…
Did you get a lot of naysayers for having dated for so short a period? How did you respond to them? Why didn’t you wait longer (again, in the same position, so curious — no judgement here!). Did things change for you as your relationship progressed (my best friend keeps sayng I need to get out of the honeymoon phase, but, really, I’ve been in 2 2+ year relationships before Boyfriend or Best Friend as well as other shorter ones and this just FEELS different).
So, yea, tell me your stories!
ETA: It would also be good to know your and your FI/DH age and if you knew each other before dating. For me, Boyfriend or Best Friend and I met via online dating and had been chatting for about 2.5 months before we went on our first date. Boyfriend or Best Friend is 29 and I am 26.
Oh and if you lived together before getting engaged (BF and I just moved in together)
Post # 3
@google: I don’t have a story bc I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years now. BUT I do want to say that every relationship is different.
50% of people that walk down the isle will say “i do” only to say “i don’t” years later! So, don’t take the advice of anyone here, go with what feels right for you in your relationship!
(I mean afterall, 50% of the responses you get will be amongst people whose relationship will end in divorce, don’t mean to be a “downer” but it’s the hard truth!)
Post # 4
@Dell79: Thanks, I know all relationships are different, I’m just curious about how others dealt with naysayers primarily or if they experienced that. While details like if they lived together or ages are important for context its more the external I’m interested than the internal…
Post # 5
my husband and i were friends (more friendly) for about a year before we hooked up. we were talking marriage within the first week, engaged 6mths later and married within 6mths after that. all up from the day he held my hand to cross the road to i-do was about 13mths
we didnt live together before we married and we have VERY simlar ethnic backgrounds and we were both 30+ so there was no comments about going too fast
Post # 6
Fiance and I got engaged a little over a year after we started dating. We ha moved in together at the 8 month point. I am 26 and Fiance is 27 and we did not know each other previous to dating, and we first “met” on a dating website 🙂
We knew we wanted to be married to each other early on the relationship ans we both want kids before 30 so it didn’t make sense to really wait. If anyone has a problem with it they’ve never said anything to us about it.
Post # 6
I’m 31/FI 34. We knew each other 2 years before our first date. We were together officially just shy of 9 months when he asked (11 months unofficially), and we’ll have a 1 year engagement. We are in an LDR, and won’t live together until a couple of months before the wedding.
Our relationship hasn’t changed at all since getting engaged actually. We’re still the same as we were. We don’t fight more (or less) than pre-engagement.. We don’t do anything more (or less) than we used to. I just have a ring on my finger and we’re planning a small wedding. Outside of that, we’re the same as we have been.
Post # 7
My sister and Brother-In-Law got engaged at 20, after dating a year, plus that whole year they were LDR because he was deployed. They had known each other for several years, but got a LOT of criticism from many, many people.
Their approach was to respond to those remarks with a “thank you for your concern, but our relationship is not up for discussion right now.” They have an amazing relationship, are both very mature, are financially stable, and have now been married for 2 years. For them, this was the right decision, and I am proud of them for standing up for themselves.
Post # 8
We met for the first time in Geneva, Switzerland on a tour of Germany/Switzerland in July of 2010.
I knew in 3 months that this was the man I wanted to marry. We got engaged in December of 2010 and married in May of 2011.
When we got married we had only known each other for 10 months!
My parents questioned it but we are both very responsible people and it was totally out of character for us to jump into things the way we did, which in a way made them more comfortable.
Other friends mentioned it casually but seemed happy enough with our explanations.
It worked for us, but then we’re slightly older than average (36 & 28), knew what we did and didn’t want, and talked a lot about specifics (kids, money, vacations, families, jobs, sex, futures, everything we could think of). So we certainly didn’t go in with rose colored glasses.
It’s not a path for everyone but I don’t think it automatically a terrible thing.
We’ve been married for 9 months now and I’ve never been happier in my life.
Post # 9
My Fiance proposed a week shy of our one year anniversary…when you know, you know!
Post # 10
We are both 21, met July 2010, started dating August 2010, knew we wanted to get married by December 2010, didn’t get enagegd to April 2011, got married December 2011 😀 We are fast ones, I know. And a few people did think we were crazy, but the people who’s opinion mattered to us (IE our famlies and close friends) totally support us. All together it was like 17 months from meeting to married. 8 months from dating to engaged, then 9 months from engaged to married. We did not live together before, and I will say, it is different than we exspected. He had never lived with a chick other than his mom, and I had never lived with a guy other than my dad, so there were serious adjustments to make, but I am still so increidbly happy we are married. It isn’t always perfect, our “honeymoon” phase ended 3 days into our honeymoon when he was sick the rest of our international (once in a lifetime) trip. Reality struck when we got home and had to pay our bills together, work on chores and such, figuring out roles and all that jazz. That transition is most likely not as acute when you have already been living with someone but for us, it has been a little hard adjusting. But the fun times are way more awesome than the crappy ones!
Post # 11
My Fiance proposed after 10 months being together.
We started dating a week after we met.
We lived together after 5 months of dating because I lost my job and he moved in to take over the bills.
We are both 26.
Not a single person thought we moved too fast or asked why or said anything other than congrats.
Post # 12
@google: Although Fiance and have been together for 4 years (I was 19 and he was 24),we knew after just a a month or so of dating that our relationship was better than any other we had been in. We came up with a way to say “I love you” that wasn’t “out loud,” so people wouldn’t roll their eyes and we secretly moved in together after about 3 months. Everything worked out well!
Sorry, OP, a bit of a hijack…
@Dell79: While it may be true that 50 percent of people get divorced, it isn’t necessarily true that 50 percent of people responding on the weddingbee are headed in that direction. In fact, one could arguably claim that women that are interested enough in their wedding to get on a forum are more likely to stay together (Or, I suppose, that we can’t talk to our FI’s and so we are all doomed for divorce ) One thing we can say about the weddingbee respondants is that, collectively, we all have many things in common (being regulars on the same website), so, therefore, the feedback we get here is more than just 50 percent valuable, right?
Post # 13
We dated for a year and a month before we got engaged. We met in Pittsburgh (where I’m from & he’s from Montana.) After we met, we saw each other every day for a week. Then he left to Arkansas for work. After two weeks, he paid to fly me down to see him for a week. Then a few weeks later, he came up to get me to take me to Montana to meet his family. I came back home and after two days he was back in PA because he requested to continue working there. He stayed here for less than two months. After that, he had to go to North Dakota for work. After a month, I packed a few suitcases and left everything behind to be with him. Now, we’re living in Montana haven’t spent a night away from each other since. =]
Post # 14
Sometimes when you know, you just know. I met my boyfriend briefly in college, but we weren’t friends. 10 years later we ran into eachother at a bar and have been together ever since. We knew we were going to get married after about 3 months, moved in together at 6 months but didn’t get engaged for 15 months. I think we waited mostly because it felt weird to get engaged before 1 year although I don’t think waiting made a difference. If he had proposed after 7-8 months my family would have been thrilled just the same.
We’ve now been engaged longer than we dated and our wedding is in less than 2 months. Our relationship hasn’t changed. We did fight a lot after moving in together but it’s a big adjustment!
Go with your gut!
Post # 15
My fiance, proposed about 2 weeks ago and the timing couldn’t have been better!
We met through an online Christian dating website about 10 months ago and have been officially dating for about 8 months.
We had discussed engagement/marriage after only a few months, though.
He is 24 and I am 21.
None of our family members were surprised that he popped the question (well, he’d consulted with mine, first) and all were supportive. This was key for us: having the support of our older and wiser family members was reassuring!
We will not be living together before getting married.
Like you mentioned, it just feels right. And like others have suggested, all relationships are different.