Post # 46
Not me, though we knew we wanted to get married pretty early on we werent engaged until we had dated for 3 years. This had to do mostly with being young, and me wantint to finish college first.
But, my parents became engaged within 6 months and married within a year. They are still together almost thirty years later 🙂
Post # 47
Not me, she just flat out disappears everytime she gets a new guy. But I hear all about the breakups of course. Then she wants to be gal pals and hang out with her old friends…until she finds the next one. Then she’s nowhere to be found again. Sigh. She said he asked her dad for permission and apparently he gave it, so maybe there’s more to it than meets the eyes…but if I were her dad, who knows about her track record with guys, I would have told him to come back in two years.
Post # 48
My fiance & I had been very good friends, and hung out one-on-one often for about 6 months before we started “dating”. We dated for just shy of a year before he proposed. We will have known each other about 2.5 years when our wedding rolls around in May. It really doesn’t feel “rushed” to me, although I’m sure some people would think it is. I’m 25 and he’s 28.
Post # 49
I”m 27/FI’s about to be 28. We met online (Craigslist of all places) and were engaged within a month of dating. How’s that for fast? We had emailed each other back in October/November of 08 and it fell through for whatever reason, and caught upagain in March 09, and had our first date April 1. We hit a rough spot, so delayed our original wedding date from 7/10/10 to 4/1/12. It totally works!
ETA: I suppose it could be summed up: sometimes you just know.
Post # 50
We were engaged 5 months after we started dating.
We started dating one month after we “met” (we had known each other briefly 13 years earlier, however). We moved in together after about 2 months of dating (it was a gradual thing that just happened), and opened a joint bank account to pay the bills around the same time.
When we get married in June, it will be 2 years to the day since we met. The only reason we had an 18-month engagement is because we knew we wanted that specific date.
We were both 30 when we met and got engaged. And, even though I expected people to react, no one even blinked an eye. They could all see what we already knew. 🙂
Post # 51
Just gotta say, yes you can have “that feeling”. I told a friend i would marry my SO 2 months after meeting him.
But the honeymoon stage does exist and until get through it and have been dating over a year i wouldn’t get engaged. Whats the hurry? Things change when you “get real’ within the relationship. So i can totally understand why people would wonder what the rush was.
Obviously there are tons of people that make it work. BUt i personally see more harm in rushing to tie the knot than waiting a bit.
Post # 52
We decided to get married after a year. I did have a previous interaction with Fi for three months before. I think we both knew we were in it for the long haul. I think it depends on a case by case basis. There are certain things you don’t learn about your spouse until later. However I think the only time I would object is if the couple is still living in lalaland and are so in love that they don’t see anything else. I think viewing your partner as whole person with flaws is important before getting married.
On the other hand I’m sure we all know that couple that dated forever got married and were divorce before the ink dried on the marriage certificate so I don’t think either way is going to be indicator about the success of people’s marriages.
Post # 53
my Fiance proposed 9 months after meeting me and we will be married in May, making our total friendship/dating/engagement to marriage all under 17 months.
Post # 54
Not sure if this counts, because officially we didnt get engaged until a little over a year together.
Fiance and I met Oct 2009, started dating Nov 2009, by the end of December (2009) he told me “I’m going to marry you some day”, I moved to be with him in Louisiana March 2010 and we were engaged Jan 2011.
Oh FI is 23 and I am 25
Post # 55
I’m 22, and my fiancee is 28. We had met, and instantly starting dating. Within the first month-3months, I had known that he was the man I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with. He knew after the 1st week or so. He proposed after 11 months of being together. I couldn’t be any happier. We’ve been engaged for a year now, and still have another two years til the wedding. Yes, the long engagement kinda ruins the excitement of it all, but our relationship is stronger than ever, and being engaged to him is the best thing that’s ever happened! Naysayers don’t have much to say when your not “rushing into it,” but even then, every relationship is different, and you should do what’s best for YOU. 😀 Best of luck!!~
Post # 56
I knew within 3-4 months of dating that this was it for me. We started talking marriage around 4 months or so as well, and basically both agreed that we wanted to work towards it. That said, we were together nearly 3 years before we got married, and we didn’t have a traditional “engagement” where we told people, etc.
I’m actually glad we waited though. It gave us the opportunity to go through some total $#1+ times together, see how the other one handles that, and work together. It really helped us lay a very strong foundation for our relationship, which I’m thrilled to have now.
Post # 57
I got engaged after 8 months of dating. We knew we were getting married after about 3 months. I am mid-30’s and he is early 40’s and from day one, we asked all the difficult questions such as finances, spending habits, communication styles, religion, the must have qualities in a companion. All topics and subjects were on the table and we were very honest and open to each other.
It is really about timing. Both of us got our education done, we did everything we wanted to do as single people our personalities and what we want for the future meshed perfectly.
Post # 58
Very similar experience. My husband and I were engaged a year to the day after our first date, though it was not really “intentional” that we ended up engaged on that day. We were married about 2 1/2 months after we were engaged.
We had moved in together after about 6 months together, when we moved a few provinces over.
I believe that every relationship is very different. We were both older (in our earlier to mid-30’s), had always been very open and honest with each other, did not participate in power struggles, and so forth, and had plenty of life and relationship experience. We both also had done individual counseling prior to and during our relationship together that had us both very comfortable and self-aware. All topics and subjects were completely in the open, as they are now, and there is not thing we do not talk about.
We also recognized with each other the capacity to continue our individual growth and to find support and encouragement for that within each other. We had very compatible views on what we wanted in our relationship, and our lives, and had discussed our expectations and boundaries (and found them compatible as well).
We each had also dated, and even lived with, previous partners whom we were not engaged to after years together. In those particular relationships, we nor the relationships just were not “ready” for marriage for various reasons.
Post # 59
- Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA
We got engaged exactly one year after we started dating and were married eight months later. We moved in together four months after we started dating. We knew almost immediately what direction we were heading. We’ve been married for fourteen months, and everything is still really good.
If we go by statistics –which we don’t trust because we know they can be manipulated to prove whatever point is needed at the time– our marriage has a 70% of ending in divorce because I’ve been married twice before. However, he’s never been married before, so our marriage has a 40% chance of failure. Then there is the study that says because we lived together prior to marriage that we’re less likely to stay married because we’re obviously less conservative about marriage and divorce in the first place. Of course, since we’re both in our 40s when we got married, that means our marriage has less than a 6% chance of ending in divorce.
See what I mean about statistics? Which one should we use? LOL!
My thought is every marriage and every couple is unique. You can look at statistics, but you can’t apply them to your own situation because the statistics don’t factor in a lot of things that relate specifically to you.
So if the amount of time you’re taking to get engaged feels right to the two of you, then that’s what’s most important. If you’re both willing to do what it takes to make your marriage work, then it will work. It takes two to make a marriage, but it only takes one to break a marriage.
Post # 60
My Future Brother-In-Law and his wife got married 2 weeks after they met. Anything longer than that, and I think you’re doing well. 🙂