(Closed) Who got to pick their own E-Ring?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My hubby picked the first one ( i had said ohh look that looks nice when i saw it in the window). It was a silver ring. We got a gold wedding set but things went bad. The ring i have now was a 3 year anniversary gift. We picked it together and i still love it. Just look at is as it’s a big step in your life together and you did it together. Still romantic and you got a ring you love, if you can let him plan a proposal so you still get a surprise. 🙂

Post # 3
564 posts
Busy bee

I wanted to be totally surprised when proposed to. I wanted him to pick the ring keeping in mind styles I liked. I ended up going alone into the store, picking it out by myself and then bringing him with me the next day for him to see it and make sure he was ok with it and put the deposit down lol. My Fiance gets easily overwhelmed and me doing that helped him. And then as it turned out, I pretty much knew exactly when he was going to propose. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is spending your life with the person you love. I think helping pick it is better than the alternative of being surprised with a ring that you really don’t like, because it’s something you’re going to have forever. So don’t feel bad. 

Post # 4
3085 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
darlingmichelle :  Pick me, pick me! I didn’t want Fiance to buy a ring that wasn’t my style and neither did he.

So, Fiance gave me a budget and then my mom, sister and I went to work shopping for the perfect ring. Then, we brought in Fiance for approval. We actually decided to go the custom route with the ring, so I didn’t see the final finished product until it landed on my finger over 1 year later.

Eveything about the proposal was still super special and I got my dream ring!!

Post # 5
5641 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

I picked mine 

Post # 6
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Originally the plan was for me to find a few that I liked and let Fiance pick the winner on his own. Then I accidentally fell madly in love with one specific ring and told him sorry, but that’s the one. 

Post # 7
2918 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
darlingmichelle :  

My Fiance is absolutely horrible at anything not related to manly or sports related things. He’s very sweet and means well but I seriously don’t even know what he would have done to try to find a ring without my help.

I knew I wanted something unique and I’m cheap and although my Fiance paid for my ring, I wouldn’t feel right getting a ring at a traditional store for a huge markup. I wanted a gemstone and I wanted a vintage ring.

I gave him about 10 choices on Etsy ranging from $300-$3,000 and let him pick. So in a way I still let him make the decision but I told him I’d be happy with any of them. Ultimately, I’m glad we went this route because I am so happy with my ring but I was still surprised!

Here it is!



Post # 8
1400 posts
Bumble bee

I picked mine out. I was going to show him some rings I liked and give him a ‘top 3’ list which he could pick from or use as inspiration. But then I fell in love with my ring and just asked if I could have this one instead.

It was nice because he didn’t have to worry about reading my mind and I got something I love. It didn’t make the proposal any less special (though the surprise for me was his answer as I was the one proposing 🙂 )

Post # 9
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

I always knew I wanted a say in the ring because I have very particular taste. We went to the jewler and designed it together… though I did most of the designing haha. But he was there and interested, and over the course of our 3 appointments every time he saw a guy come in alone he would remark about how glad he was not to be that sorry sucker haha. Since we went the bespoke route I only ever saw drawings of how the ring would look and the stone itself, I didn’t get to see the finished product until the proposal. It was perfect for us.

Post # 10
9439 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I went shopping with my husband and picked 3 I really loved. He made the final choice and picked out the center sapphire on his own so there was still an element of surprise. The way we did it was perfect for us.

Post # 11
196 posts
Blushing bee

He picked the one he proposed with. Hadn’t intended on choosing a second one as the one he chose was lovely, but we both happened to see one we really liked one day and decided to get it 

Post # 12
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

He never even saw it in person before I bought it. He proposed with a beautiful simple white-gold band with the intention that he would give me a budget and I could go searching for the “perfect” ring. I knew I wanted antique and that I would “know it when I saw it”.

I searched online, in shops nearby, etc. My mom actually found it at a shop near her and sent a picture. DH and I both agreed it was beautiful and very fitting for me. We put a deposit to hold it, a month later I was in town visiting my mom and went to try it on and knew instantly it was my ring. I paid right there and it’s been on my finger since 😀

It’s quite normal in my family that the rings are chosen together (led by the woman) and that a proposal is made with a stand-in ring or no ring so it never felt weird to me that I chose the ring or that I have three rings (proposal band, engagement, wedding band). I usually wear my proposal band on my RH ring finger but it’s actually the least sentimental of the rings for me.

Post # 13
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

I did. Thirty-four years and I still love it.

Post # 14
212 posts
Helper bee

I’m actually in the opposite boat.

My boyfriend has really good taste in jewellery so I’ve left him to it for the most part. The only input I have is that I’ve requested it to be white gold and that I honestly don’t care how much he spends so if he can’t afford a diamond (which he really wants) I would quite happily have a sapphire or emerald or amythst or something instead.

I’ve seen so many people on here posting about going ring shopping with their future fiance that I have moments wondering if I have made the right decision, after all, what if I end up hating it? I have to keep reminding myself of his past purchases of jewellery.

So, ultimately, I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do it. You know you’re getting a ring you love, and it doesn’t make it any less special. 

Post # 15
723 posts
Busy bee

I picked mine, we went to the jewelers together but he didn’t really have an opinion.  

To me there is no sentimental reasons attached to the ring choice so I didn’t see any benefit to him picking it and then having to learn to love it.  I didn’t even know what I wanted when we started thinking about getting engaged so there was no way he would. 

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