(Closed) Who got to pick their own E-Ring?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
1197 posts
Bumble bee

My husband and I went to a few jewelry stores looking at rings but I fell in love in the first store, one of the very first rings I tried on. Nothing else compared and that’s what he ended up ordering.

Of course I would have loved whatever he gave me, but by picking it out myself I love it because he gave it to me and because it is objectively gorgeous. 

Post # 17
8 posts
  • Wedding: September 2016

I picked my own! My wife doesn’t know/care about jewelry at all, even something like an engagement ring. She also is the worst gift giver in the history of ever. So we knew all along that I would pick my own and we were both okay with that. I picked a lovely vintage wedding set that i’ve never regretted (3 years later and I still smile at it and say “look how sparkly!” to anyone around me lol). 

I don’t think it’s the traditional route per say, but we aren’t traditional anyway. It’s still romantic and then you get your perfect ring! 

Post # 18
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

For a purchase that large and important, we decided looking together was best for us.  I searched for and selected my diamond. My husband selected the setting….but that was after we shopped together and agreed upon setting styles. He showed me on-line what setting he wanted and I agreed but I didn’t see the diamond set in the setting until we got engaged so there was still a slight “surprise” factor. 

Post # 19
1422 posts
Bumble bee

I picked my ring out completely. My Fiance didn’t ever really do his homework, so I felt more comfortable with pickin a diamond that actually had the specs I wanted. We got it from Blue Nile and I wouldn’t change a thing! 

Post # 20
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I kind of picked mine.  He gave me an approximate budget, and I sent him pictures of probably 5 rings, and then he picked one from there.  So I was still surprised, but knew that I would love whatever he picked.

Post # 21
7952 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

my ering is my grandmother’s diamond.  so i knew what it would be.  i gave DH pictures of what i liked and his friend’s father, a jeweler, made the ring.  i didn’t see the final product until a few weeks after DH proposed. (there was a delay in the ring and he didn’t want to put off the official proposal anymore). 

Post # 22
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Neither of us were sure how we wanted to approach it and I didn’t initially know what I wanted, so we did a first trip to a shop that specializes in vintage/antique rings. I thought maybe I’d identify a general style I loved and then he could go from there, but once we started looking at actual rings we both realized I was really particular — there was something I didn’t like about every single ring in that shop! My partner was worried that almost anything he picked out himself I’d dislike some aspect of… and he was probably right about that.

We started talking about doing something custom, and I remembered that my family had a diamond ring of my grandmother’s I might be able to reset which would have sentimental value, save us some money, and alleviate my anxieties about supporting the diamond industry.  So we got that from my parents, met together with a great local designer who I’d researched (more input from me than him on this conversation but he was interested and engaged, and we decided together on platinum over white gold), she and I emailed back and forth a bit to finalize the CAD, and then I handed it over to him to handle payment and follow up while she worked on it.  

The first time I saw the final (perfect!) ring was the day he proposed.  We were both really happy with the ring, the process and the cost, and figuring it all out together was reflective of how we handle most things in our relationship.  I didn’t mind losing the element of surprise at all and i LOVE my ring. If we hadn’t worked this out together I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to wear my grandma’s diamonds, which means a lot to me. 

Post # 23
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

He took me to the store and let me pick, within his set budget. When that one lost stones twice within weeks, I returned it and picked out my current ring by myself. He didn’t even want to give me feedback, since it’s my ring and I have to wear it.

Post # 24
3057 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

He picked my center stone but we worked together with the jeweler to design it.

Post # 25
459 posts
Helper bee

I kind of did.

I knew he was nervous about picking out a ring I would like, because when we windowshopped at stores like Kay’s or The Diamond Center I would mostly point out the rings I didn’t like. Most of the rings I saw in those stores were very large and/or trendy, and I didn’t want a multi-carat stone or halo setting.  
SO, I went and visited my sister’s store one day with a friend. My sister works in the jewelry industry, so we had a lot of fun picking out ~5 ring options (and trying on a bunch of rings WAAAAY outta my price range! ;). He went in about a month later and looked over those five rings. I don’t even remember what the others looked like! He picked out the perfect solitaire!

(The ring looks so lonely there by itself, without my wedding ring!)

Post # 26
745 posts
Busy bee

I found the ring I loved & text it to him so there could be no way he messed it up 🤷🏼‍♀️

Post # 27
27 posts

I read somewhere that guys tend to spend more on average when picking out a ring on their own (I assume this holds for heterosexual couples), and that the tradition of surprising a woman with a ring (ditto) was invented by the jewelry industry.

I guess if I happened to be together with someone who really enjoyed the process of ring shopping I might leave it up to him, but as it is, given it’s a rather big purchase, it was probably better that we picked it out together 🙂

Post # 28
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I picked mine out. It never crossed my mind that he would pick it out alone because it’s such a personal preference, you know? He joked while we were there that it was a good thing we did, because what I liked and what he would have picked were totally different. It’s a forever gift, so to me it’s important to love it. And also, the proposal is what mattered to me. The surprise of the proposal to me isn’t the ring, but the proposal itself. Which mine totally was. I was shocked when he proposed, and when he put the ring on my finger it just felt like I was seeing an old friend again haha. 

Post # 29
90 posts
Worker bee

The original plan was for him to pick it out himself, per his own request. He kind of had this fixation on how he wanted to pick it out himself and surprise me 100%. I went along with it. So I originally showed him pictures of styles that I liked and gave him some ideas. We also had already been out looking a few times before for ideas. I was open from day one to looking and helping him pick one out and I actually prefered to do it that way. I always thought that’s generally how it went and that’s how most people in my family had done it. The couple picked out a ring together and then the guy proposed with it later.

Anyway, he came to me a couple of weeks ago and told me that he was out looking, but he was having a really hard time and really wanted to get me a ring that I’d love. He said the ones within his budget that he looked at weren’t quite like the ones I showed him and he wasn’t sure if I’d like them or not. He was really anxious about it. I told him that I would gladly go out and look with him (and I was elated to be honest). We went out that day, I fell in love with one, he put money down on it, and it’s currently being made as we speak! I respect that he was considerate about wanting to get me something I loved, not just something he liked, and I’m so glad we went out and picked it together. It was fun and a lovely experience.

I’m in the dark about the proposal, and the jeweler will be contacting him (not me) when the ring is finished (it could be finished for all I know). We slightly changed some things from the original ring, so I can’t wait to see it when it is finished. It will still be a surprise!

Post # 30
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I sort of did. He took me out to pick my engagement ring but although I wanted a gemstone, he really was pushing me to get a diamond to show off to his family. Many people seem to believe the hype about diamonds. Plus I wanted a diamond solitaire (since I had to get a diamond ring) but it didn’t have enough of a WOW factor for him so I got a halo diamond.  I do love how much my ring sparkles and how it’s rose gold but I would have preferred either a London blue topaz or blue sapphire ring.

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