(Closed) Who got to pick their own E-Ring?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I did. I don’t think he would have liked choosing rings without me, being afraid I may not totally love it, and I’m glad. Jewelry is a personal thing, even when it’s his money, you are the one who has to love  it. Even so, when we went looking for rings together, I would try one on that we both liked in the case,  but I didn’t like the look of it on me whereas he did. And even though he does have good taste and generally knows my style, I think the woman needs to be the final chooser because only she and she alone really knows what she wants and looks good on her finger. And we all know how something that looks good in a picture, or in the case, doesn’t necessary look good on us. And that is something that a man will never be able to solve by himself.

Post # 32
Member
711 posts
Busy bee

My fiance asked what I wanted. He had it made based on pictures I showed him. It came out exactly like I wanted. If its something you are going to wear forever, you might as well have some say in what it looks like!

Post # 33
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I completely designed and picked mine. My Fiance is not detail oriented at all and probably would have gotten lost in the jewelry store. Basically, he came to me about a year before proposing after we had the marriage conversation, and asked me to send him all the details and specs of exactly what I wanted within a certain budget. I did just that and send it to his email. A year later (not expecting anything) I got my absolute dream ring, right down to the exact specs of the center diamond that I wanted.

Post # 34
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

Yes I did, we actually had my ring custom-designed (because I couldn’t find a pre-made one that was exactly what I wanted; guess I am picky!). I was super involved in the design process–more so than my boyfriend because while he is absolutely wonderful, he is totally clueless when it comes to things like jewelry! (While I spent lots of time researching and debating different stone types, cuts, colours, sizes, etc. I’m pretty sure for him it’s all the same, haha.) He told me to pick out or design exactly the ring I wanted–his only requirement was that we don’t use diamonds (which I was already totally on board with anyways because like a few other bees here, neither of us want to support the diamond industry). I picked the setting style, the stones (it’s a 3-stone ring), the metal colour, etc. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is an expensive purchase (the most expensive single item either of us has ever bought–well, excluding house and car obviously) and probably the only item I will wear every day for the rest of my life. So of course we wanted to make sure we get a perfect ring that I love, rather than dropping a few thousand on a ring I hate (plus we make all big financial decisions together and this definitely falls in that category). I did ask him for input of course: I made sure he also liked the setting I chose (he agreed it looked lovely, although I’m pretty sure he would say that about almost any ring I picked since he doesn’t have a big preference haha), I showed him a few different options for the stone sizes and asked him which combination looked the best (I did end up going with the combination he chose) and couldn’t decide between white gold or platinum (he told me to go with platinum). But ultimately I’m the picky one when it comes to the ring (plus I’m the one who will be wearing it!) so it just made sense to both of us that I would have more input.

Basically my situation is similar to mariana1114 and denkyem: I let him handle the payment and pickup–when the ring was ready that’s where I stepped out completely because I want the actual proposal to be a surprise. That’s the important part to me (the actual proposal), the ring is just an object that symbolizes it. I won’t see the actual ring for the first time until the proposal and don’t know when it will happen so I’m still super excited and I’m sure I will be surprised! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 35
Member
2267 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

darlingmichelle :  When Fiance and I first started dating, I made him join Pinterest. If mrsjothesahw :  has a wife who is the world’s worst gift giver, I am the world’s worst gift receiver. Like, I made an ex cry when I figured out he was going to give me something I didn’t want and made him return it and try again. (This makes me sound awful – really I just knew he’d spent a large sum on money on something I didn’t want, and thought it would be better for him to get his money back) I can’t fake excitement or happiness, and my gracious-face is not very convincing.

So to spare us both, I said, “If you’re ever minded to wonder what to get me as a gift, just look at my Pinterest and go from there.” It means he can be sure he’ll get me something I like, can spend what he wants, and I’ll still be surprised. It has worked out beautifully.

When it came time to start thinking rings, he did look at my boards, but my dream ring really wasn’t what he envisioned. We started to consider alternatives – since it was important to me he also like this symbol of our commitment – and we settled on something we both love; a modification of a setting we found one place, along with a custom mounted gem we sourced ourselves.

I still don’t actually have the ring, and he hasn’t technically proposed, because he wants to surprise me, but I know it won’t matter in the end. I actually hate surprises (control freak much?) and it was WAY too important that I like what I was getting to leave it to chance.

Ultimately I think the official declaration we are starting the next phase of our lives together is the part I’m most excited about anyway, and I’ve known that was coming since we decided to build a house together. I don’t think being involved with picking my ring has diminished that at all.

๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 36
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

We ended up picking it out together…. He originally wanted to buy a ring when we met up in Italy along the Ponte Vecchio (I was working overseas for a bit).  Didnt realize they mainly do yellow gold, and the shops dont open early, as he wanted to sneak out and go buy a ring. Frustrated, he ended up spilling the plan to me, and we went ring shopping at a few other jewelers that day.  Went to Damiani, which is an Italian jeweler, and they have a few rings in their bridal collection.. both of us went to pick up the same ring at the same time, so we figured it was the perfect match.  I walked out while he did some negotiations, and I got engaged later that trip at the top of Mt. Vesuvius. ๐Ÿ™‚  I also agree, being there to pick my ring didnt diminish it – clearly we both had the same idea in mind when we reached for the same ring.

Post # 37
Member
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I kind of picked out my ring too.

When DH and I first talked about becoming engaged way back when, I told him I would like a say in my ring since I’m the one that has to wear it.  But he also wanted a say, and I too wanted him to like it of course, so I had a Pinterest page with several different rings and styles.  Unfortunately, my styles were all over the place.  I had solitaires, antique settings, and halos all pinned.  I was supposed to narrow it down to 3 rings but I couldn’t.

My husband picked a ring that was one of the first I had tried on – a round in a halo with a split shank.  I really did like that ring, but then I lost it for a few months.  My replacement had more of a bloom halo (under the center) and a much thinner setting and it was way more comfortable than the split shank which sat low on my finger and took up a lot of space.

I wound up getting my original ring back and having to return the replacement to the jewler.  A couple of months later we reset my diamond into a thinner, more comfortable setting.  I also got a matching wedding band as the split shank needed a curved one and I didn’t like the way it felt.

So in the end I picked out the new setting but I also got DH’s blessing in it.

Post # 38
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I picked the setting; he picked the center stone. My brother and SIL did the same. It worked well for us and them. I love my ring, and the center stone is beautiful!

Post # 39
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
darlingmichelle :  I went to the jeweler and designed the setting. He went later and picked out the center diamond. It was still a surprise to me because I didn’t know how big he was getting the diamond and I didn’t see the setting fully made until he proposed.

Post # 40
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

My fiancé originally proposed with a halo ring with multiple diamonds. We had went to the jewelry store to upgrade to a single diamond but the cost would be around 20k. So I traded in my original ring for a halo with a single diamond and diamond shank. 

Post # 41
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I picked my own. I’ll openly admit I’m super-fussy when it comes to things I wear, moreso when it comes to jewellery. Fiance also knows this. In the past he has bought me some lovely things and I trust his judgement, but he said if I was wearing it for the rest of my life, I’d best choose my own! (Sensible man, I tell you.)

Post # 42
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

My situation is almost exactly the same as cjk88’s, except my Fiance and I split the cost of my custom ring. I kept trolling Pinterest and the Internet and couldn’t find one ring that I truly loved. Instead, I kept liking different aspects of different rings. The one that came closest was a vintage ring that had been sold, and when I contacted the jeweler they told me a replica would be $10k. So that’s when I started exploring moissanite laughing. Fiance had previously given me a beautiful lab-created emerald necklce for our anniversary, and I was excited to go that route again. Plus we both liked the idea of moissanite, since it came from space and doesn’t have any environmental or human impact to create. By creating a custom design I got exactly what I wanted, and Fiance didn’t have to guess. Which was good, because his track record with getting me jewelry hasn’t been great – that emerald necklace, which I wear every day, was a second try. He was thrilled that this took all the pressure off of him and I got my perfect ring. We had it shipped to him and he made the proposal the surprise.

Post # 43
Member
398 posts
Helper bee

My fiance and I both preferred that I pick the ring because I’m the one wearing it. I knew his budget, and so I showed him my favourite ring, and he bought it for me. The proposal was still very special and somewhat of a surprise. I don’t think picking my ring took away from that at all. I already knew we would be getting engaged this year, so picking the ring didn’t ruin any type of surprise. He likes my ring as much as I do and sometimes catches my hand to admire it, and he said he loves it when our friends say he did good even though I chose it lol. Works for us!

Post # 44
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

 I sent him photos from Pinterest and he went off that. ๐Ÿ˜Š Don’t feel bad bout picking it out, it’s what you wanted & you’re gonna have it forever; might as well have a say on it. 

Post # 45
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I picked mine. He knew I was going to be a little picky and knew how important it was that I love my ring. I’m so glad he let me. While in the store he learned about moissy’s and that’s what I ended up with. I adore my ring. I love to look at it. 

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