(Closed) Who has been cheated on by there present So and still with him?

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Who has been cheated on by there present So and still with him?

    No, never !

    Yes i love him, people make mistakes.

    yes but i got back and cheated

    no that i know of o_O ?

  • Post # 32
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I stayed with my ex for 5 years after he cheated. We never got over it. But we didn’t handle it properly, either.

    Right after he cheated, he was truly sorry and regretful and he just wanted the whole ordeal behind him. I was of course shocked and hurt, and needed a lot of time to heal. It caused us to butt heads because I was having trust and insecurity issues and he basically told me to shut up and stop “hanging it over [his] head” So I bottled everything up and healed by myself with no support.He even resumed his friendship with the girl in question and when I protested, he accused me of being out of control so again, i sucked it up and dealt with it myself.

    It took a long time – at least 2 years – but I made it to the point where I was comfortable with him and myself and no longer found the cheating issue haunting my life. But then he started having insecurities. I went away for college so we were an hour apart and I cannot count the number of times he either expressed worry over, or flat out accused me of cheating on him because I was an attractive girl surrounded by good looking guys who were really smart while he was a regular blue collar guy.

    I think cheating can be worked out but you definitely have to work on it together. You can’t just try to sweep it under the rug or it’ll crawl back out and bite you.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1811 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My ex boyfriend cheated on me, after 2 years. We never got past it, after I tried for 9 months to forgive him. He was also a pathological liar; he never admitted things I knew happened and I think he began to believe his own lies. The rage that I felt after being continuously lied to, still comes back when I think of him…his “affair” also went on for 2 months with a STRIPPER….BLEGH! Anyway….we were very young, and couldn’t get past it. If my SO now ever did anything like that, we’d be over in a heart beat (and we’ve been together for almost 6 yrs). It’s just such a vulnerability that can’t be messed with, and I know I am not a forgiving person.

    Post # 34
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years when I found out he had cheated on me a few times. I was devastated. I tried moving on but I couldn’t. We got back together, but things werent the same. I could constantly bring it up and it caused a whole lot of problems. We broke up again, we both tried dating other people. But somehow we ended up getting back together. But this time, we were willing to do ANYTHING to make our relationship work. We seeked counseling and let me tell you, IT WORKED. We both learned alot about each other, our relationship, and most importantly about ourselves. We discovered why we were the way we were, why he cheated, and how to move forward. It wasnt easy but we did it. We have been back together for almost 4 years now. We just bought our first home together and we are getting married in a couple of months. And our relationship is so much better. Even though it was a horrible experience, I do believe it made our relationship stronger.

    My friends judged me at the beginning but they learned to respect my choice. They are now happy to see me happy.

    Post # 35
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee

    I found out that my b/f cheated on me with a friend, 2 weeks before our wedding. I cancelled the wedding. I am unsure now it has been 2 years since we cancelled it and I am not sure what to do. I am trusting him and I don’t ask questions. He works away from home and that makes trusting him difficult. I play my mother role with the kids, and take care of things on my end. Things seem to be going good.

    Here is MY problem, I am ‘trusting’ him, but he locks down his laptop with a password, and he will never leave his cell phone out. He will have it charging and, sit with it, when he gets up to use the bathroom, he un-plugs it and takes it with him. He checks his phone constantly, like he has missed something. There is never sound on, and he claims that is becuase the noise bothers him. (RIGHT I am sure thats what it is) This really bothers me. And if I bring it up in conversation, than he gets mad, and says that if i bring up his past indescretion that he will leave. He says that I  am  ‘throwing it in his face’. And I don’t we never talk about it, but I wonder if he haddn’t cheated if this would be an issue? Am I reading too much into this because of his past?

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