(Closed) Who has more control in your relationship?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who has the upper hand in your relationship?
    ME! : (69 votes)
    48 %
    HIM! : (18 votes)
    13 %
    We are equal :) : (56 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    901 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I agree that it depends on the subject, we are generally pretty equal when it comes to making decisions.  I tend to have a stronger opinion or care more about things, so Fiance listens to my reasoning and provides input so we decide what’s best for both of us. 

    He definitely goes by the “happy wife, happy life” motto and for that reason, he lets me make decisions that matter most to me and I do the same for him.

    All that being said, I voted that I have more control because I do tend to get my way more often than he does.

    Post # 18
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    He leads in our marriage, but I have no problem with that because he also understands happy wife = happy life Smile In real life situations, I probably contorl the smaller everyday things but I trust his lead on the bigger things. That is not to say I can’t have an opinion; I think on most things we either agree on the same thing or he will listen to me and respect my opinion too. It’s just for the basis of our marriage I believe in the husband leading, that’s all. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    sunelake27

    i picked him, but i am always right. pretty much… always right. When it comes down to it he can pretty much tell me what to do or what he wants and ill do it. if he wanted to move to flipping japan right now, i would. so i think we are prob pretty equal. in most arguments im usually always right though hehe. i think we are both understanding enough that if the subject ment a lot to the other person, the other would cave and respect their wishes.

    Post # 20
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’m the Type A planner and he just sits back and smiles as I do my thing. I’m just more of a natural leader – I never make him do something he really doesn’t want to do. Otherwise he’ll say “no” and I’ll say “ok” and we go on with our lives

    Post # 21
    Member
    1953 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It varies. I have more control over the finances (Im a numbers person & have been in the financial industry for over ten years) and he has control over things that he is better at! As long as I’m in charge of the finances, he can deal with everything else lol

    Post # 22
    Member
    1410 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Ooh, I find this kind of thing fascinating. To me, it makes sense that there are more women on this site who say either me or equal, because it seems like there are a lot of Type A personalities here, who do better in a relationship where they take the lead, and women raised on the idea that relationships are at least equal partnerships, and I love that. To the point where I’m almost ashamed to admit that in my relationship with Fiance, he’s the leader. But the keyword there is almost, because I support everyone’s right to accept or reject traditional gender roles to whatever degree works for them. I happen to love a lot of girly things and like feeling taken care of.

    It pretty much comes down to the fact that I’m really laid back, and there are a lot of things Fiance cares about that I don’t, so it works for us that he takes the lead in most things. But for the record, planning our wedding is not one of them 😛

    ETA: And for the record, I couldn’t be the follower without a very high level of trust and respect in our relationship. I know how to criticize constructively and I wouldn’t follow an unworthy leader.

    Post # 23
    Member
    609 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    I would say we are both equal, but he may have a teensy speck more control :). So maybe like, I’m 49% and he’s 51%. We’re both type A.

     

     

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It’s hard to tell. He has the upperhand, but he does it all for me. He made the choice to buy a new lounge suite…for me. We make a lot of the big choices together, but he’s home more than I am (despite working two jobs) so he gets the upperhand.

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