Post # 1
My husband and I are unsure about having #2. I desperately want another, but I just don’t know if I am at the point where I have the financial means and honestly, the energy to do two kids justice. We have an 18 month old and are trying to decide when and if we should have another. We don’t have help from any family. I am on birth control now and sometimes I think I want to go off, and then sometimes I’ll see my SIL with her two kids struggling and I think to myself, I just couldn’t do that.
My husbands friend has a 6 month old and his wife is pregnant again. I am alternately jealous and sympathetic (it was an oops, but he is happy- I don’t know how she feels about it).
I just would like to hear stories about how people decided on baby #2.
Post # 3
@Tatum: We always knew we wanted more than 1. In my mind, that was pretty well not negotiable. No disrespect to people with 1 child, but I knew I wanted my kids to have at least 1 sibling. So it was a matter of when, not if, we’d TTC for #2.
And given that, I knew I wanted them close together. Looking after babies and toddlers is hard work, so I knew I wanted to overlap, rather than waiting until #1 was at school and starting over. As it turns out we had 3 kids, each about 2.5 years apart. I think i needed that time to recover (from pregagncy and the hard work of the first year) and that spacing was pretty well ideal for me.
Post # 4
We had our daughter when my son had just turned four. I wanted him to be out of diapers and old enough to be playing with friends so there wouldn’t be any jealousy issues to deal with.
My philosophy regarding life altering decisions is generally If I’m not sure, I wait until I am.
Financial stress takes a toll on all members of a family. Maybe if you wait a while you will be in a better place to have another child.
Post # 5
We always knew that we wanted 2, and we started NTNP when Dirty Delete1 was 20 months-ish. We both have siblings, but didn’t really grow up with them (DH is 7 years older than his younger brother, I’m 5 years older than my brother) so once we were settled in our house and had a pretty good rhythm going with work, home, play, and of course money, we felt comfrotable starting to try. Now, we have a 3 month old and an almost 3 year old, and it is really busy and we’ve very tired, but the girls already have such a sweet relationship – by all means totally worth it.
Post # 6
Dam for me it just happened. I didn’t even get a period in between.
With them close together it’s hard.
I think a 3 year gap is probably a lot better. Mine are less than 2 years apart.