(Closed) Who has sisters that wont be their bridesmaids?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I have two sisters. One is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and the other one isn’t going to be in my wedding, won’t be invited, and won’t know about the marraige until after the fact. I may change my mind about inviting her closer to the wedding, but I doubt it. She is too unstable for me to have in my life. And I can’t count on her for anything.

Post # 4
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh boy, I can relate.  My sister and I don’t have a relationship anymore — we only hear news about each other through our family.  I’m not even a hundred percent positive she is coming to the wedding.  My parents give her excuse is she lives out in Colorado (and we’re in NY).  When we were little we got along great but as she got older, well…we stopped getting along.  I’ve never met her husband, never met her kid, who’s 3. 

About six months ago I contacted her and asked her to be a bridesmaid, by email.  I wrote “Even though we obviously haven’t been the closest of sisters, I was wondering if you would do me the honor of being one of my bridesmaids.”  I gave her the option of not doing it if she didn’t want to, that I hoped she’d come to the wedding if she didn’t want to be a bridesmaid, that our parents would pay for the flight, the dress, etc.

She never responded, never even sent me an email back congratulating me on the engagement or anything.

All this to say…yes, I have a sister who is not a bridesmaid. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have 2 biological sisters, and I am best friends with my Future Sister-In-Law. I chose Future Sister-In-Law as Maid/Matron of Honor and one of my biological sisters informed me about a week later that because she wasn’t my Maid/Matron of Honor she not only wouldn’t be in my wedding, but wouldn’t even be there. I had all these romantic ideas about buying her a present that was something that said “bridesmaid” on it and officially asking… hugs and jumping would ensue… talk about rain on my parade!!! She came around but we are still fighting 🙁

I couldn’t wait to have all of my sisters up there with my, the ones I was born with and the one I found. I understand if you just aren’t friends then that’s it, you don’t have to have them.

Are your bridesmaids all from your inner circle of current friends or best friends from high school or what?

Post # 8
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I asked my sister to be my maid of honor after my previous wedding party dropped out and she said no because she didn’t want to be my second choice. Also we don’t really get along we text once in a while but we never call each other. She’s my older sister and she’s probably a bit jealous since I’m getting married before her. She has a boyfriend who knows they may even elope? You never know.

Post # 9
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My wonderful Maid/Matron of Honor I’ve known since kindergarden.

Four of them I’ve known since high school.

The sixth is my brother’s girlfriend of seven years.

I say my “wonderful MOH” b/c she is the only one with whom I can honestly “jump up and down for joy” whenever I feel like it, however much I feel like it, about the wedding.  I think this is b/c she’s a happy person in general but also b/c she too has a great husband who was always been committed to her, and also b/c she loved her wedding and the process of her wedding planning.  I was her Maid/Matron of Honor and it was such a fabulous time, I was really involved with my Maid/Matron of Honor duties, and it turned out to be so successful.

Point being I never have to worry about being made to feel guilty for talking about the wedding a lot, being happy, etc.  I could gush and gush and gush about it for hours with her and she won’t get tired of it.  I love the others, but unfortunately a few of them are divorced and had jerk husbands and are very bitter toward men and marriage.  That’s been hard to deal with.  But they’re cool people otherwise.

We’re all getting together for the first time (minus one person) to look at bridesmaid dresses on Sunday.  Hopefully that will go well.

Post # 10
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

wow, it is definitely nice to hear that i’m not the only one with a rocky relationship with an unstable sister! my sister and i go months without even speaking to each other. when we do speak it rarely ends well.  the past few times we’ve spoken it’s actually been nice. there are times lately when i think of asking her to be apart of our wedding, then i have to remind myself that the wedding is not until october and i doubt, no i KNOW, she can not be relied upon for that long of a time period. i think  she knows better than to even ask if she’s “in the wedding” or not. she’s just a debbie downer when it comes to any situation that’s not all about her. she “hates” my dress. when she saw my ring she rolled her eyes and asked “if it was even real?”. at first i wasn’t even sure that i wanted her at the wedding at all, for fear that she would cause some sort of scene…but i finally made peace with the fact that even if she does try and cause a scene or be catty, my friends, family, and fi’s family all know how she is and the only person that will end up looking bad is her.

Post # 11
Member
803 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

that would be me… i have two sisters…one is estraged and its pretty nuts and out there, the other im really close with.  the one im close with and i discussed it and we both decided that putting her in the PB and not the crazy one would be putting her in an akward position, however, there is NO WAY im putting the crazy one in it. shes the type that will show up drunk, refuse to wear the dress, dye her hair pink, and dance on a table top, and then say shes going to kill herself because no one loves her.  that being said, the good sister and i agreed that she would be my sister and my support but didnt need to wear a matching dress to know that shes imporatant to me.  therefore, no sisters in the bridal party.

Post # 12
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My only sister decided to drop out of being my Maid/Matron of Honor via email months after she was super excited to be one. Nothing happened, we didnt get into an argument, she just decided that it will just be ‘in the way’ of her future planning to have a family with her newly married husband. They  just got married a few months back and I was her bridesmaid and helped plan her shower and bachelorette party, now im getting married and she cant even be here to support me.  It broke us up completley and i havent talked to her since, and if she doesnt even come to my wedding, i will completley shut her out of my life for good!

Post # 13
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I have three sisters and only one will be in my wedding (MOH).  I love and get along great with the other two but it was more important to them that their kids were in our wedding so each sibling will have a ‘representation’ from their family 🙂 

My Fiance has three sisters and I only have two in it, since I barely know the other sister.  It cause some family strife but if I had all my sisters and all his sisters we’d have a HUGE wedding party!!!

Post # 14
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My sister won’t be in the wedding either.  She is 10 years older than me and we really aren’t that close even though we do get along fine.  She is throwing my shower and I think that’s really as involved as she wants to get.

 

Post # 15
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

One of my sisters is my Maid/Matron of Honor and the other is doing a reading but is not a bridesmaid. My mom was super pissed that I left her out and it has been nothing but a headache since then…which is precisely why I didn’t want her as a bridesmaid in the first place! She’s a drama queen…

Post # 16
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

One of my sisters is a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and the other will be doing a reading. The sister doing the reading and I aren’t that close (and I’m not super close to the BM), but we get along well and they’ve been very, very supportive and I think we’re getting closer. I get a huge kick out of this, but one of the first things Mom said to me once we started planning was “Please….please for the sake of my sanity, include both of your sisters” haha.

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