(Closed) Who has sisters that wont be their bridesmaids?

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My sister won’t be a bridesmaid in my wedding. Not because we don’t get along or anything, she’s just 15 years older than me and we’ve never been that close. She will be doing a reading though…I couldn’t cut her out completely.  Both of her little kids are in the wedding though!

Post # 33
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i have a younger sister who wont be one of my BM’s. reason why is she’s 9. in all honesty it should be my own brother on this post. his wedding will be 4 months after mine and i wont be in their wedding. she insisted that her brothers be in it but i guess my brother didn’t stand up for me. i was hurt about it but oh well. ill get over it. he’s in my wedding but i guess i wasn’t important enough to be in theirs.

Post # 34
Member
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have a half sister (im adopted and only recently met my biological family) and she is 14, she wont be in the wedding party. I felt as tho I should include her but I dont get along with my biological mum (a wanderer, drug user and a liar) so I wont. But thats the only deciding factor. We are close tho, email each other most every day. If she was 18, I would definitely have her in the wedding party 🙂

Post # 35
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I asked both my sisters.  I couldn’t decide between them who would be my Maid/Matron of Honor, so I asked a friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and both of them to be Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Both accepted but then my younger sister asked me if she could be wedding help because she couldn’t afford it.  I thought that was very nice of her to be wedding help because I felt weird asking someone to be behind the scenes like that. 

That same sister ended up getting upset with me after doing two favors and I ended up telling her I didn’t need her help anymore.  I was really mad at her.  We ended up resolving things about a week before the wedding.

Post # 36
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sigh.  It’s so sad.  Sisters are supposed to be our best friends, beginning from childhood.

Instead, the one I consider my sister IS my best friend from childhood!

Post # 38
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Even though my situation is not about my own sister, I’m so happy to read this post bc I’m not having my Future Sister-In-Law as my Bridesmaid or Best Man just bc we’re not close.  She really isn’t all that close to my Fiance either.  But we are having her son as our ringbearer and I’m going to ask her and her husband to bring up the gifts in the ceremony. 

I feel for you girls who have strained relationships with your sisters.  It must be pretty difficult, but when you have support and love from girlfriends, they become your sisters!

 

Post # 39
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve always been pretty close with my sisters. However, my relationship with my fiance put a strain our sibling relationships, I suppose. I asked them both to be bridesmaids due to pressure from my mom.I felt hesitant though because I thought they wouldn’t want to do it or would be negative/unsupportive. They said yes, then they open up about how unsupportive they are!!

 

It’s really important to me to have supportive people as my bridal party. Fiance and I both agree that it would feel uncomfortable and awkward to have unsupportive people standing up there with us at our very serious Catholic ceremony, in which marriage is taken very seriously….. It’s weird, but my dad and I both knew that we should not have my sisters as BMs, yet my mom insisted…….this just caused complete drama, now I am back to square one: only going to have to closer highschool friends, my fiance’s little sister as bridesmaids….fiance’s cousin will be flowergirl….his two brothers and one friend will be best man and groomsman. 

My sister said it looks bad if your sister isn’t your bridesmaid. But actually, I would think it would reflect more poorly on *them* as I am not including them due to their lack of support. I feel so upset right now. Not sure what to do. But I just think I don’t want them anymore…..my 2 friends were so happy/overjoyed to be BMs…..whiles sisters its just drama and issues….besides their negativity towards my relationship/future marriage. 

Post # 40
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

I have two sisters, and neither of them will be in the wedding party, but not because we don’t get along.

(1) My sisters HATE being bridesmaids

(2) My sister didn’t have us as bridesmaids when she got married

(3) They will be doing readings instead

(4) One of my sisters simply cannot afford the expense.  She will have to fly in from Hawaii, and that’s cost enough.

Post # 41
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have one sister who I wish dearly that I could not have as a bridesmaid. She is confrontational and just emotionally draining to be around. I also wish that I could not have her horrible little child within 500 miles of my wedding. I am planning on asking her to only come to town the day before the wedding instead of the 2 weeks before like she wants to. Unfortunately since my parents are paying I am stuck wtih this God awful situation. I really really really would be thrilled if she would not speak to me again after the wedding.

Also this morning she called and told me how ungrateful I am because Fiance is getting me a new car and I want to go test drive it before the purchase is made. Apparently according to her I should just accept whatever he picks out and be happy with it. She heard about me spending the day test driving and car shopping through my parents because I sure as hell didn’t call her.

Post # 42
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My sister was a bridesmaid, but against her will lol Not because we don’t get along, we are very very close but she just hates weddings and being in big crowds and stuff. It all worked out though, I was thankful that she sucked it up and was a part of it.

Post # 43
Member
5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I don’t have any sisters, but I plan on asking Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid.  The thought briefly crossed my mind of having my BF ask my brother to be a groomsman, but I immediately shot that down.  I mentioned it later to my BF, and he just started laughing.  My brother has been in and out of rehab for years, and when I was still living in the house, he was abusive to me – he sent me to the hospital twice.  He seems to finally maybe be getting his act together, so we might ask him to be an usher or something – but we’ll make sure he’s not the only one so that when he doesn’t show up, it’s not the end of the world.

Post # 44
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have 2 borthers, 2 sisters and 3 sisters-in-law and chose not to have anyone in my wedding party.  My fiance (now husband) and I decided that rather than leaving anyone whom we are close with out (we didn’t want a HUGE wedding party) than we wouldn’t have one at all.  It was awesome!  We had our family’s walk down the aisle ahead of us and then they sat down in the front row.  One of my sisters was my witness, my husband’s sister was his witness…it was perfect!  Our head table consisted of just my husband and I and for that I am truly grateful!  It was the only time we really had with just the two of us to soak it all in.  I would highly recommend not having a wedding party for anyone who is still unsure.  Our friends were still VERY supportive (many actually thanked us since they didn’t have to buy anything they would most likely never wear again), we still had the bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette party as well. 

If you are having a wedding party, you want people who have and who will continue to be by your side throughout life’s troubles.  Don’t be guilted into choosing someone who doesn’t fit the bill.  I know too many people who no longer talk to some, if not all of their wedding party anymore…it’s sad really.  Do what YOU feel is right, not what someone else wants :o)

Happy wedding and happy planning everyone!

Post # 45
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

wow… so so sorry so many of you have such a bad time with your sisters! 

My Fiance has two sisters, I have one sister-in-law (my bro’s wife, obviously, lol). 

I haven’t asked ANY of them to be in the wedding since we really aren’t that close.  Also, the one sister of my Fiance who I like has started being EXTREMELY selfish and bratty… and oh, yeah, she refused to chat last night on FB!  WTF???  whatever.  and of COURSE my mother almost demanded that my SIL be a bridesmaid because, and I quote “she had you in hers”.

ummm… yeah.  as a RING BEARER.  *rolls eyes*

so, I’m having friends stand up with me and he’s doing the same.  No family (except the officient! lol) will be in our wedding party. 

Post # 45
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I have 5 sisters. Yes you read that correctly haha (two are twins and one is what we affectionally call a “pre-menopause baby” my mom thought she was going through menopause but oops! Hah)

Im very close to 2 of my sisters and the others: way way younger (like 18+ years!) and the other two are just… “Hi, happy birthday” as you said.

So I’m only having two as my bridesmaids and then my best friend. So far, it hasnt come up. My mother remarked that my tween sister “should” be in the wedding party but i feel she’s much too young and I asked her privately if she cared, to which she said “I dont care” (I moved out when she was just born, so we’re not sibling close, more like parental close, if that makes sense)

I just always wondered if it were common to only include some of their sisters or none at all. If you have 1 as a bridesmaid, are you supposed to have them all?

 

edit: accidentally responsed to a fellow poster by accident!! Sorry!!

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