Who hasn’t experienced shrinkage?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I can’t imagine upgrading my ring. Before I received my ring I told my Fiance that I will never upgrade this and if it’s good for me now, it’s good for me in 20+ years. Upgrading an engagement ring loses the sentimentality of the ring in my opinion. If I woke up tomorrow and was independently wealthy, I may buy other jewelry but won’t be changing my engagement ring. I look at my engagement ring and see my Fiance on his knee in front of me asking me to marry him, a new ring wouldn’t have that memory. 

Post # 32
Member
6781 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

sharpshooter :  I feel like shrinkage happens when you can’t stop looking at photos of other peoples’ rings and maybe have some regrets in an “oh I wish I’d…” way.  Or if you were dissatisfied in the first place.  I haven’t had shrinkage (and found it to be a bizarre concept) and my stone isn’t even a half carat (or a diamond, lol). 

My husband said once that looking back he’d go bigger by a little bit, but I think that was just that it turned out smaller than he expected in the first place, whereas aside from finding the inspiration photo, I had nothing to do with the choice and had no idea what to expect.  If we replace in the future (it’s silver, so unlikely to last forever) then I’d imagine he’ll up it by a tenth of a carat or so.  But even that isn’t shrinkage so much as incorrect expectations on his part.

Post # 33
Member
9375 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Nope. If anything, I’ve sometimes wanted something smaller.

Post # 34
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

aquababe :  Shrinkage IS shallow. Changing tastes and upgrading is not.

Post # 35
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

Welp call me shallow then I’ve experienced it. I look at rings a lot and have even gotten into the multiple set game. Honestly it’s more about different styles then size. My first ring has a 2.3 carat center and I like wearing the new 1.83 carat oval yellow diamond I just got more. 

Post # 36
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

sharpshooter :  I’m going to be the minority here and say I experienced shrinkage when I had to up my ring size due to swelling and gained some weight. At first i was a size 6 and now im a 7 and a half on my finger and my ring definitely felt a lot smaller..  

Post # 37
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

I’ve been married for almost 3 decades, and although I never experienced “shrinkage”, I got my (original stone) reset because the setting was completely impractical for my life and I never wore it. 

I can see how some might feel shrinkage though. 

Post # 38
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

I have not. I also don’t wear my ring at work so I am always impressed and excited when I get to put it on when I’m home. Wearing it for 10 months now and love it so much! 

Post # 39
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I have not experienced it at all, in fact my ring seems to be looking bigger…I almost wish I got a 1.25 instead of the 1.5! 

Post # 40
Member
2773 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

I have a sapphire so I think my ring as a whole is kind of a different concept. With that being said, my stone is about 2.3 carats and I have never even once wished I got a bigger stone. I can’t imagine my ring any bigger. I feel like it would look like a cocktail ring! 

I think it’s more important to be happy with what you have and remember the significance behind it 🙂 

Post # 41
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

If you love your ring you won’t experience shrinkage and I think the point that people are trying to make is you should love your engagement ring because your man gave it to you no matter how big or small it is it should be special and not upgraded because of shrinkage aka it wasn’t good enough to begin with for whatever reason. I however have a ring addiction and will play dress up with other bad ass rings I’ve come across but my engagement ring will always be my engagement ring. Still my baby and I don’t consider nicer jewelry to be an “upgrade”. It’s just another ring I may wear sometimes outside of my engagement ring and even then it’s only for a day or so because I have mad separation anxiety when I’m not wearing my engagement ring. I honestly couldn’t imagine a more important piece of jewelry. 

Post # 42
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

When my Fiance chose he ring he gave me no say in what he chose for mel  I was very unhappy.  While I have kept his ring I also have the fancy shape that I really wanted in the first place.  He still loves me and is fine with my choice.  Neither ring is large but a size that doesn’t stand out too much.  I am happy he loves me and happy to finally have a fancy shape diamond that flatters my hand.  I chose the fancy shape that made me happy and not to keep up with anyone else.

Post # 43
Member
8952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

aquababe :  It is not a cognitive fact that people’s diamond spontaneously appears smaller to them. If it were a “cognitive fact” then “growage” would be just as common as “shrinkage”. If your finger actually changes size, yes, your diamond is now proportionally smaller compared to your finger. But if your finger hasn’t changed size, the only reason to percieve that the diamond is smaller is if you notice other people with bigger diamonds and allow that to make you feel like yours is less-than. AKA keeping up with the Joneses.

Post # 44
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

DogsAndWine :  The only people I know who have “upgraded” their rings are people who’ve been married for a long time and their original ring has broken. My mum’s e-ring (which was a cheapy from the beginning as they were dirt poor when they got married) snapped into pieces just before their 26th anniversary, so dad, my sister and I organised a new set for him to give her for their anniversary. A few of her friends have done the same for the exact same reason. I can’t even fathom changing out mine unless it got lost or broken, and even then, I’d get the exact same ring again!

Post # 45
Member
6673 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I love rings and had worn a variety of sizes and styles before getting engaged. It never would have occurred to me (with a ring I bought for myself) to look at it and suddenly say “this looks too small all of a sudden. I need the same thing but bigger!”

However, since I did have a variety of rings in many different sizes and styles, when I needed a change, change was easily had.

With my engagement ring, I haven’t experienced shrinkage, but I’ve noticed that I have “adapted” to the size of my stone- it doesn’t look as big to me as it once did. That’s fine, though, because I think it’s in my sweet spot, size wise. However, I’ve also learned some things about it that aren’t ideal for me and my lifestyle (like my addiction to body oils and the fact that sapphire is an oil magnet!).

I think the difficulty of engagement rings is that there tends to be an expectation that you receive one and that’s what you wear for the life of the relationship. I’m increasingly less attached to that notion as the years pass. I’ve told my husband, pretty much since we got my ring, that I’d like to get a lab created blue diamond one day and turn my sapphire center stone into a solitaire necklace. He’s fine with it. He’s experienced my body oil addiction; he knows it’s real.

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