Post # 46
Member
12 posts
Newbee
DogsAndWine : My Mom has an upgraded ring! She started with a smaller ring (if I had to guess on size, I’d say it’s 0.30 ct or less). They married in a courthouse while in grad school. 10-15 years into their marriage, after having kids and both my parents were settled in their careers, my dad got her an upgrade: 1 ct solitaire (6 prong, gold band, platinum prongs). She’s been wearing that ring for as long as I can remember. So I personally think the idea of upgrading is a totally great option if finances are a concern at the start, but obviously not mandatory.
Post # 47
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
sharpshooter : I’ve had my ring for 2.5 years and have definitely not experienced ring shrinkage. If anything, my diamond seems too big sometimes! I have a 1.5 cushion on size 6.25.
Post # 48
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
I’ve never heard of ‘shrinkage’ being a thing beyond what happens to cold dicks…So no.
Post # 49
Member
2677 posts
Sugar bee
sharpshooter : I don’t understand the shrinkage thing, except for maybe the girl that said it came with sizing her ring up, that makes sense because the prportionss actually changed. I have a 0.2ctw on a size 4.5 and my issue is fear of something happening to my ring because the way it’s set idk if it could be repaired to original condition and it’s a discontinued style no longer in store so identical replacement would involve searching for another being sold pre-owned. I have definitely not experienced shrinkage, I love my ring. Occasionally I wish my wedding band was a mm wider, but that can be fixed by adding a little stacking band one day.
Post # 50
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
I haven’t experienced shrinkage, but I have experienced a change of tastes over the years. My husband doesn’t mind and it hasn’t been a financial burden on us as I have paid for my new set myself.
I am much more sentimental about the man than I am the jewelry. The more I learn about diamond and vintage cuts/settings, the more my passion for them grows (to include possibly going through the graduate gemologist course). My current set symbolizes both my passion for my marriage and my passion for old cuts.
Personally, I don’t see why it would be an issue or frowned upon (as it seems by some of the comments in this thread) if an individual or couple decides to swap out rings. It’s really no one’s business but theirs.
Post # 51
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
I agree and disagree with PP. I do think that shrinkage IS a thing, and it’s not always because you’re materialistic. Sometimes you receive something that you love, but it’s not quite what you had envisioned, and over time it might not “wow” you as much as it once did. Not all bees that have mentioned shrinkage have done so to justify an upgrade, but are just being honest about how they feel. Such feelings aren’t easy to share with your SO and sometimes it’s better not to. I do agree that I have a difficult time thinking of upgrading my ring. It’s so sentimental to me I don’t think I could. At most, perhaps one day I can get a nicer ring in addition to what I have now, and swap them out from time to time. I can’t imagine getting rid of my ring altogether. However I imagine upgrading might be easier if you picked the ring together or he let you chose, because it’s not quite the same as him going out and surprising you with his best. In one instance you’re kind of saying he didn’t chose a good enough ring, in another, you’re admitting you aren’t satisfied with your own choice. Different sentiments in my opinion.
Post # 52
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
aquababe : Thank you. Exactly. There are lots of different reasons for someone to reset or upgrade their ring, and it isn’t always materialistic OR the decision of the female. I’ve heard of a few men surprising their wives with nice rings on anniversaries because they couldn’t afford to when they were younger/first got married. Also… tastes DO change over time. The rings I salivated over at 18 are different than my tastes now at 32. I also think it’s quite different to get a small ring when you marry young and get something nicer when you are better off than to insist on a big ring your SO can’t afford. Two very different scenarios. I will add that looking at the bee has given me ideas for styles I like that I wouldn’t have thought of before (I already have my ring, but I can still appreciate!) so perhaps looking at everyone’s ring pics aren’t a good idea for someone who may not be completely satisfied with what they currently have. I’ve also read lots of stories of guys insisting on chosing a ring style that is different from what they know their SO prefers. This is a concept that is beyond me. If I knew my husband loved or hated a particular style, I would definitely take that into account. I don’t understand the mindset of putting your own preferences first. I think this also contributes to some girls not being happy when they are deliberately excluded from the process when it’s not a surprise and they know in advance they aren’t getting the style they dreamed of (this isn’t always a issue of cost, either).
Post # 53
Hostess
2277 posts
Buzzing bee
Mine is a 1/2 carat princess cut and I’ve yet to experience the phenomenon of shrikage (otherwise known as keeping up with everyone around you).
Would I ever upgrade my ring? No.
Would I maybe change the setting my diamond is in? Maybe, but only because I just got the ring back from being resized and it looks crooked to me (Though no one else sees it).
Post # 54
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
…”(otherwise known as keeping up with everyone around you).“
This is the exact type of stereotyping that just makes me 🤦♀️.
Post # 55
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
I have experienced shrinkage with other stones I have had in the past (yey to my jeweler who lets me “upgrade” LOL) that were bigger than the stone I have now. I have not experienced shrinkage with my current stone, but I go through all sorts of waves with my ring. Tastes/likes/styles change. I really like my current ring and center stone but I cant promise it will be a forever deal LOL. I say everyone should do whatever they want. 🙂 People can have all sorts of opinions about upgrading or keeping an original ring for a lifetime. I see nothing wrong with either as long as the ring wearer is happy 🙂
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