Who helps to plan your wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee

No one has helped except my Fiance, and realistically it’s mostly been me researching options and then getting his thumbs up/veto to narrow down options. I don’t really want to burden my friends/family and ultimately Fiance & I have to make the decisisons since we’re paying and doing the bookings, so I feel it’s easier not to get too many cooks in the kitchen. I told my sis and best friends that if they wanted to help with decor ideas I’d love suggestions, but so far they haven’t given me any input and that’s fine by me – they have their own lives and I suspect they have better things to do than worry about my centerpieces. 

Post # 32
Member
417 posts
Helper bee

Parents are contributing a lot financially and are involved with planning. My sister has helped with dress shopping, decoration ideas and will be making our cake.

Post # 33
Member
2723 posts
Sugar bee

There’s no ettiquette around who should, it’s just about who want to. My parents and oldest sister (who is a SAHM) were so eager to help I think they’d already mentally planned half of it before I was even engaged. I was very, very, lucky.

My other 6 bridesmaids didn’t help with the wedding planning at all, but my 3 sisters all helped with our joint bachelor(ette) party and came wedding dress shopping with me. 

Post # 34
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My mom helped me the most, and of course my husband. The wedding was about 3 hours from where we live, so there were lots of trips to meet with vendors with my husband and parents. My bridal party (DH’s sister and my best friend) had very little to do with planning except for my shower and helping me pick out Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.

Post # 35
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

My Maid/Matron of Honor has been my best friend for almost 20 years. We dreamed about our weddings and planning them together. She got married a few years ago, and I’m getting married this year. If anyone is involved in the planning, its here, and my unusually involved Fiance, of course. However, what I have found is really that the majority of planning falls on the couples shoulders. So many people will offer help, but its just not practical to hand something off. You know your budget, your vision. It’s just hard to pull someone else in. 

Post # 36
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My husband and I planned our wedding.  My parents gave input when I asked for 2nd opinions on stuff, but they didn’t really “plan” anything…

Post # 37
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

It’ll be a big bonding thing with my mother and I. We had a very strained relationship in the past that’s improved a thousand percent, so I’m excited to share the planning fun with her – plus, she’s extremely supportive of my vision and isn’t the type to strong-arm her own ideas into the mix at all. My SO doesn’t seem to care about much more than showing up so he’s already told me he’ll mostly just chime in on cake flavors – trust me, I tried. I also hope to include my sister, who will be my Maid/Matron of Honor, but we both share the same bizarre interests and I’m afraid that if we go off on a tangent the event will turn into a crystal-laden meditation retreat thing that’ll weird out my SO.

Maybe just a few crystals? Teeny bit?

Post # 38
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My Fiance and my wedding planner are the only ones planning. I’ve never understood asking the bridesmaids or maid of honor to plan. Help with some small tasks, sure, but it’s not your moh’s duty to plan your event. 

Post # 39
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

I am not asking my bridesmaids/MOH to be incolved in wedding planning.  They are already planning a shower and bachelorette, which is very generous of them.  Was expecting some help from my mom and Future Mother-In-Law but they have not done much.  I feel like it usually is 95% bride.  My fiance helps with small tasks, but I need to give him deadlines and specific instructions or it does not get done haha.

Post # 40
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We are doing all of the planning together with my fiancé. Initially he said that typically it’s a bride’s job, but he was really helpful and we decide everything 50-50.

Oh well, maybe 60-40 for me 😛

Post # 41
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee

My Fiance and I are doing all of the planning (although we’re going to be hiring a planner or a DOC once we find the right one, so we’ll have some help there.)

I wouldn’t expect my friends/bridal party to do planning for me. And honestly, while I might ask them for an opinion or feedback on something occasionally (such as, “would this be fun/cute, or have I been looking at too much Pinterest?”), they have different taste, style, and priorities than I do.  So it wouldn’t make sense to ask them to take over the flowers or whatever.  

Post # 42
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

I’ve been planning it with my fiance, and running a few things by our DOC as they come up.  I don’t want or need input from anyone else.

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