Who here is following British wedding traditions instead of American?

posted 4 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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miss_newbie :  Wow. I don’t know any culture or nationality where it’s generally accepted to invite guests to the ceremony only. The Brits I know have served two meals–“breakfast” which is actually a formal dinner to their ceremony guests plus a buffet for the aforementioned guests plus any evening guests and provide plenty of wine and beer all day/night, i.e. more, not less, than a typical (shorter) American reception. 

People may be offended by what you describe on any continent. It stops being just ‘your day’ as soon as you invite other people. Once you become a host you have a responsibility to reasonably host. If you choose not to do so do not blame it on some culture you don’t understand, just admit you don’t care. 

Post # 48
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

UK bee here. 

I read the article and it wasn’t that inaccurate. Personally I’ve never heard of the chimney sweep thing, and bridesmaids in white, in my experience, is mostly seen at Royal weddings. But your interpretation of some of it is wrong, as pps have explained. So what you propose is fine if you want it, but not British. 

I had a low key, sober hen-do, but that was my preference. It’s not the cultural norm, but not a problem either. 

3) My wedding, which was pretty typical for a church wedding, started at 2pm and went on until midnight. There were two tiers of people but divided into 1) ceremony + reception (3 course meal) + evening (dancing/buffet), and 2) ceremony + evening (dancing/buffet). No one was invited to the ceremony only. 

1) We paid for welcome drinks, wine at dinner, toast champagne and had a tab behind the bar. Only ater that did people pay for their own drinks. People weren’t drunk but my friends aren’t big drinkers. I certainly have never seen a sober wedding. 

2) My bridesmaids did follow after me but it’s becoming more common for the bride to go last. Neither would surprise me. 

3) I had 125 for dinner and 165+ in the evening. It was one of the larger weddings I’ve been to here, but not overly so. 

4) Agree no bridal shower. 

5) this seems to be confusion regarding the fact weddings start in the day (but then go on until midnight) and that there’s a sit down meal and also an evening buffet. 

6) we did have fruit cake and saved the top tier for our anniversary but lots of people these days have other flavours. Whatever you like is fine. 

Post # 49
509 posts
Busy bee

Me waiting for the OP to trot out her opinions on other people’s gemstone preferences and sexual practices:


Post # 50
1400 posts
Bumble bee

The stereotype is that at wedding is where everyone is totally shitfaced and at a hen do the bride with her L-plate is stumbling in too short of a dress and showing her hoohaa to all of Blackpool when falling down. This is also not necessarily true but your list seems very off.

You can have the wedding you want. Just don’t claim having a British wedding. Also if you are Australian it is weird to specifically follow British or American traditions. Just combine things you like and call it your wedding.

Post # 50
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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elderbee :  I’m a doofus who has been day drinking and I deleted your comment. (Worst mod ever) Anyway, I was able to go back and copy it. Here you go. 😑

Ooh this is fun. I particularly like the way OP starting pouting and shouting when called out on her laughable ‘facts’. She sounds like a ton of fun .

For the record, l’m English but a long time Australian resident. I have never heard anyone but her make this distinction between American and British weddings, tho certain things  like showers are acknowledged to be American and who pays for bridesmaids dresses does differ culturally as we know. 

l do hope she comes back……

Post # 51
9163 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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desertgypsy :  

Not to worry. Hope you don’t have a post Chrissy hangover !

Post # 52
2252 posts
Buzzing bee

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jillsgills :  have the wedding you want. Just don’t blame it on us 

You win for best comment of the day. LOL!

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