(Closed) Who holds the shower??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

As the bride, you should provide a guest list and maybe registry information, but that’s it really.  If you have an opinion on what you’d like, that’s one thing.  But if you really don’t care, then they shouldn’t be bugging you for all the details.  Just tell them that you’ll be happy with whatever they do and that you’re sure they do a good job – hopefully they get the hint!

Post # 4
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Ohhh – I sooo feel your pain.  You are right – you shouldn’t have to do any planning or contacting or anything other than providing a guest list and perhaps giving ideas of things you might like to do for it (ie: what type of shower).

I think maybe your Aunt wants your input because she wants you to enjoy it.  What if you just tell her a few guidelines, thank her for throwing it and tell her you can’t wait to see what she comes up with.  If she pushes and pushes, tell her that you are so overwhelmed with wedding planning, you don’t have time to think about shower details and you’d be fine with anything she comes up with.  You can also suggest “X” friend (if you have a super planner friend) to help with the details.

Post # 5
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, the bride does not plan her own shower (screams gift-grabby).  In all honesty though, it doesn’t matter who throws you the shower.  It sounds to me like the aunt just want your input in order to give you something you will like. 

Your one job in the whole things is to provide your guest list.  Let them hash the shower details out, but give your opinions when they ask.

Post # 6
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

FI’s aunt offered to host my shower with help from Future Mother-In-Law and that side of the fam (since they’re sisters), and Future Mother-In-Law started asking me a few things.  I said straight off the bat that I’m extremely touched and appreciative for their offer to host and looking forward to the party BUT I have enough going on with the rehearsal dinner, wedding & day-after brunch I’m planning, so I have no opinion on what they do (which is absolutely true).  Anything they decide I”m sure will be wonderdul, and I’m looking forward to being a guest=)

I gave them the wedding guest list and told them to invite whomever they want.  that was the last I had to do with it.  Just got the invitation last night!!

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