(Closed) Who hosts the bridal shower?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 17
1094 posts
Bumble bee

Mom & Maid/Matron of Honor & Future Mother-In-Law & FSILs for me but I kinda wish not so many people were involved…

Post # 18
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it can be anyone really. A friend, Bridesmaid or Best Man, relative or future SIL. I don’t have any BM’s and my family lives in FL and I am in burbs of Chicago so my friend offered to throw me one.

Post # 19
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@maggiemay0811:  Yes, I’ve heard this too.  No one should be invited to the shower who isn’t invited to the wedding, so only the college friends and relatives if they’re invited to the wedding also.  The shower can be big or small, depending on what the host and bride want.

ETA:  My aunts are throwing my shower (meaning my aunts are paying for it and we’ve having it at one of their houses), but my bridesmaids are doing most of the planning 🙂

Post # 20
3448 posts
Sugar bee

Our aunts threw my sister’s BS, my sister is throwing mine. I was my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor and I just didn’t have the funds/time to throw one. I still feel really bad about it, though. In my area, it’s usually ladies of the family who throw the shower.

Post # 21
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@futuremrsfitz18:  Once again, I agree with you!


OP, anyone can host a shower and it can be as larger or small as you want!  I’m having 3 (2 where I grew up and 1 where I currently live).  My Maid/Matron of Honor and aunts on my dad’s side are hosting one, my aunt and god-mother on my mom’s side are hosting another (my mom is helping with both of these), and 2 of my BMs are hosting on where I currently live.

Post # 22
2413 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My bridesmaids are technically hosting it but my MOH’s are planning it and my mother is paying for the whole thing. My mom paying for it was very important to me as I was in a wedding where each Bridesmaid or Best Man was asked to pay about $400 for the brides mother to invite like 70 people to a restaurant. It still angers me to this day and it’s been several years.

Post # 23
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It really depends where you live!  Where I live, it is primarily hosted by the MOB or MOB & Future Mother-In-Law together.  The BMs just help out with things, but the moms foot the bill.  I’ve been to countless showers and that’s the way 99% of them have been.  Same with baby showers.  In other parts of the country, it’s taboo for the mom to host and the Bridesmaid or Best Man are supposed to do it.

As far as the guest list goes, it’s more of what you want.  Do you want a small intimate gathering with only close friends and family or do you want to  invite basically all females invited to the wedding?  That will also depend upon the venue.  That said, your Future Mother-In-Law should not be inviting women who are not invited to the wedding (if that is the case).  If people are talking about the shower and asking you about it, there is no harm in discussing it with your BMs and mom.  I would not just stand by and perhaps miss out on a shower.

Post # 24
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You bms or your mom.

Post # 25
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Aunt is hosting one for my side of the family and my friends, still no offers from FI’s side.

The Bridesmaid thing is strange to me…I’ve been in 3 weddings and none of them have been hosted by BM’s and I’m 99% certian my BM’s won’t be offering either…but I have heard of it happening.

I’ll also be inviting every woman that is directly invited to my wedding (aka. they’re not somebody’s “and guest”), so if I end up having a combined shower there will probably be 50-75 people on the guest list.

Post # 26
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Traditionally I think it is supposed to be the bridal party. However, in my cirlce, there is no set etiquette. The day I told my grandmother I was engaged she told me she wanted to throw my bridal shower for me. But then she had to have emergency surgery and my mom took it over. But my mom was also pretty much paying and planning for my wedding all on her own and so I actually called one of my bridesmaids and asked her if she could just help my mom since she didn’t know what she was doing – not host it, but just help her organize. That bridesmaid ended up offering to throw the whole thing herself which was very gracious. So with eight bridesmaids none of them offered to throw one, but it didn’t really bother me since I didn’t see that as their job. I was actually more annoyed that my mom’s very best friend who is like my second mother didn’t offer to take over the planning when my grandmother had to have the surgery since I felt like as basically my second mother she should be the one helping my mom and being a huge support system. 

ETA: The reason it was too much for my mom to do on top of the wedding – which I of course was also planning with her – was because I had a 4 month engagement, which is typical, but still stressful. 

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