Post # 1
I did not really realize there is any tradition to this. I figured as a couple we would thank our guests as we are hosting our wedding. Then, my little brother (who happens to be the best man) is going to say something short. I was told that a groomsman and a bridesmaid should give a speech/toast, so I was going to pick my friend who is a bridesmaid but has been a huge help thus far and I thought it’d be a nice way to recognize her since she is not Maid/Matron of Honor. When I told her she was excited but wanted me to clear it with my MOHs first as traditionally she thought the matron or maid of honor should give the speech? Is that really a rule? I don’t want speeches really as I think the guests don’t want to hear too much so I thought just a few words would be no big deal but people seem to think it is!
So out of curiosity who is giving your toasts or speeches?
Post # 3
I think that typically the Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man do give speeches at the wedding, which is where your Bridesmaid or Best Man is coming from. However, we did have an officially designated MOH/Best Man, so we just had our fathers give speeches (along with our short thank you speech).
We opened the floor at the rehearsal dinner to anyone who wanted to speak, as we knew a few of the members of the wedding party wanted to.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago
Our Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man will be giving a short speech. I asked my Dad if he wanted to…he said if your FI’s Dad does then I will too. Not sure if the Dad’s are supposed to give speeches, but I thought the Brides Dad was supposed to?
Post # 5
The best man and Maid/Matron of Honor are giving speeches, then Fiance and I will thank everyone. That’s all we’re doing. We didn’t want to put people to sleep.
Post # 6
@excitedtobeMRSF: My dad did, as well as both of our best men and both of our maids of honor. Everyone did such a great job!
Post # 7
Our Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man gave short and sweet toasts.
Post # 8
@excitedtobeMRSF: We had a mic on the head table and whoever wanted to say something could say something (meaning wedding party and parents). I said a quick thanks before the prayer, best man gave a short funny speech, Maid/Matron of Honor said a few short words, my dad said a few short words because he felt bad that the best man stole most of my MOH’s speech material, lol, and my Father-In-Law told a really fucking stupid story to try to embarrass the hell out of Darling Husband (and it turns out it wasn’t even about Darling Husband in the first place), and everyone just stared at him for being an ass. Lovely.
The speeches were made throughout dinner so it wasn’t like, “Ok. We are going to make speeches now.” But if they are short, sweet, and to the point I don’t see an issue with multiple people giving speeches.
Post # 9
@excitedtobeMRSF: at our wedding the two best men and two MOHs gave a speech together, and my SIL also gave a speech. and then us (bride and groom) gave a speech thanking everyone and my mother for helping
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Traditionally (OLD tradition) it was the father of the bride and the best man who gave speeches. The more contemporary tradition is whomever hosts, the best man, and the maid/matron of honor.
We did a lot of speeches at ours. It went like this:
Mr. Lk’s welcome speech (we were the hosts)
Course 1 served
Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor speeches
Course 2 served
1 representative from each family (my Dad and mr. LK’s Aunt) speeches
Course 3 served
Teen LK’s speech (This one was not part of the plan. Earlier in the day teen Lk approached Mr. LK and I and asked if it would be okay for him to give a speech. We reminded him to be conscious of the time and place when developing his remarks, and then gave our blessing and told him he could give his speech after the main course was eaten. Well, in one of the most incredible parenting moments ever, my boy gave the most touching, heartfelt speech I could ever imagine. Everyone, even the wait staff, were in tears. He brought the house down. Point being this- sometimes the incredible moments are 100% unscripted. embrace them.)
Course 4 served
We gave everyone who planned to speak a hard 3 minute timeline because we didn’t want people to drag on forever. I told them it would be like the Academy Awards, and that my DOC would drown them out with music if they went on for too long. 😉
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
My dad gave a speech, and then the two MOHs and the Bridesmaid or Best Man did toasts. On my husband’s side, a very close family friend read a poem in Farsi (his family is Iranian) and his sister translated it to English.
Post # 12
Interesting! It seems MOHs are the traditional choice! I may break that tradition haha My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor (to make my dad happy) but we don’t speak really so that may come out awkward (as we don’t spend any time together/talk so idk what she would say), and my matron of honor is my Future Sister-In-Law and she is already doing a reading for the ceremony so that seems like a lot to ask her to do in one day! haha
Post # 13
I hate speeches, so probably no one. FI and I will probably do a welcome/thanks for coming type thing but that will likely be it.
Post # 14
Our Maid/Matron of Honor (my sister) and Bridesmaid or Best Man both did speeches, as well as my mom, my dad and stepmom, and my DH’s parents. My Darling Husband and I did a speech as well at the end of dinner.
Post # 15
@excitedtobeMRSF: We haven’t really talked too much about it but I know my sister (MOH) will be saying one, and likely his best friend (best man), as well as his parents, and my father (my parents are divorced – and I don’t really see my mom wanting to stand up alone to say something). I think my 2 best friends (also bridesmaids) will also want to say something. Then of course myself and my SO will give a thank you speech. Sounds like a lot, but I think they will all be pretty short and sweet.
As for tradition, I have always thought best man, Maid/Matron of Honor, parents and bride and groom so this is where your bridesmaid is likely coming from and just doesn’t want to step on any toes. HOWEVER, I think that it really is something that is unique to every wedding. I think because you and your sister are not close it would make sense for your bridesmaid to say a speech – she may have more of a relevant speech to give!
ETA: my two best friends will likely say a speech together, not seperately.
Post # 16
holy moly well the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man (he kept it short and she rocked it). thought it would be the other way around but we left it open mic. Thats the way i think most weddings are up here. So his dad, my step dad, a couple old family friends, his two brothers, my sister, my brother, an old high school friend who kept talking about his skate board (he was super drunk) and then once he was kind of kicked off almost cried to me about how he had so much more to say. i was sooo surprized at how many people wanted to say something on our behalf or thank you. at the end i said thank you but kept it short. i dont like giving speaches myself. The DJ had to cut it off cuz he said it would have gone all night! And i only had like 60 ppl at my wedding.