Post # 1
Bees – here is my situation. Let me just say my mother is disabled and completely homebond. She can’t help me plan ANYTHING!
A few weeks ago one of my bridesmaids (not maid of honor) asked me what dates are best for me for them to throw me a bridal shower.
In the past we all have thrown each other a bridal shower. My Maid/Matron of Honor has offered to host showers for people even when she isn’t in the wedding.
We have been best friends since one year olds..
Fast forward to today – I realize that I am traveling on business every month from May- end of August (My wedding is in September). I kind of freaked out because I am not sure when I could have a shower. Therefore, I texed my Maid/Matron of Honor to tell her how busy my work schedule is and that I know it is sooo far out but I need to know what has been planned and what month we were thinking for everything.
She acted like she didn’t understand what I was talking about and I had to feel like an idiot saying about bridal shower. She proceeded to tell me that normally it is the brides family or mom and Future Mother-In-Law that plan showers. She said the bridesmaids only plan the bacherlorette party. (Which she hasn’t at all. I have organized the whole the whole trip.) She then told me she thought it was too far out to be planning ANYTHING. I had to keep repeating myself saying..but I have some pretty major traveling for work and need to plan around all this so I don’t think its too far out considering my situation.
She knows my mother can’t help me plan anything. I had to skype my mom in when I went wedding dress shopping. So, I tend to look towards my friends as my family to help me with things and she knows this. I was just in shock that she basically didn’t think they should throw the party for me. What hurts me the most is in the past she has hosted bridal showers at her house even though she wasn’t even in the wedding! So confusing..
What does everything think? Is it just family and friends not in the wedding that should throw the bridal shower?
How should I handle this with her?
Post # 3
I was the Maid/Matron of Honor for a wedding 2 years ago. I had a couples shower for her, but her mom, aunt, and grandma put a “family” one together.
Since your friends have thrown ones in the past.. it seems really weird to me she’s acting like that!! wtf?
Do you have any aunts cousins, other family that you could maybe talk to it about? Or could you do a couple’s shower?
Post # 4
I mean maybe she thinks i am wanting a couples shower, but I don’t think we can do that because all our friends drink and his family doesnt. We didn’t think it would be best to try and have a party like that before the wedding. So, I just want a bridal shower with girls only. I guess I should call her to clarify but now I feel like she is going to think I am being rude assuming she is helping with the party. ahhhh i have had so much drama with this wedding stuff.
I had 3 friends that thought they were going to be the Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 friend that thought she would be in the wedding.
I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor because she has been like family to me..I need her help since my mom can’t do anything.
Now I just feel awkward.
Post # 5
It’s so frustrating!! I don’t think it’s fair she’s acting like that towards you, what a pain! Could you talk to any of your other BMs about it??
Post # 6
My Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaids are doing mine with a little help from my mom. but my moh and bm’s are my sisters. lol.
Post # 7
That is what my Fiance said..talk to the Bridesmaid or Best Man that was asking me what dates worked best for me..let her handle the whole thing.
This will probably open her eyes to that the other girls want to throw something for me and who cares about the rules..
Post # 8
Like I mentioned in one of my other posts, it’s usually the job of the Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s to put something together. Generally I think whoever wants to help plan it can, but in most cases the parents of the bride and groom do not.
I would talk with the Bridesmaid or Best Man who asked for the dates.
Post # 9
My Maid/Matron of Honor and my mother are working together to plan it. We’re doing it at my mom’s house and my mom is providing the food but my Maid/Matron of Honor did the invites, the decorating, pretty much everything else.
Post # 10
Mine is a surprise, but I DO know that my mom and bridal party all planned everything together. My mom actually gave the bridal party the dates months ago… I would talk to the Bridesmaid or Best Man who asked you what dates would work best. Perhaps your Maid/Matron of Honor is really working to make it a surprise and you don’t know?
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2011 - Laurel Rock Farms, PA
I think the Maid/Matron of Honor should def be apart of the shower and your girls should help as well. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my 15 year old sister so she had no clue on what needs to happen etc so I found the place and did the menu everything else is being planned by my mom and girls. If theres sometihng you really want such as a theme or maybe your mom there then I would make it happen. Maybe you can do an outdoor BBQ at your moms house and your girls can make all the food so they are helping. My wedding is Sept and I had my bridal shower spot booked in Feb…. so nothing is ever too early!