(Closed) Who is it appropriate to invite to a baby shower?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Should you send baby shower invites to people living very far away who likely will not come:
    No - it will make them feel like all you want from them are gifts. Send them announcements later. : (14 votes)
    36 %
    Yes - it makes people feel loved and included just to be invited. : (25 votes)
    64 %
  • Post # 2
    2190 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    lisaelanna:  I know I have a few aunts/cousins who like to feel included even though they live far away. Some of them even want to know to send a gift to the shower. One is planning on flying in anyway. I guess it just depends on your family. They can send a gift or not, but no harm in inviting. I don’t think it’s offensive or gift grabby. 

    Post # 3
    194 posts
    Blushing bee

    I voted yes. Only because on my dad’s side of the family I have relatives out of state and they expect to be invited to these sort of things. It can actually cause issues if they are not invited. Some of them sent gifts, some cards, others showed up, and some didn’t do anything. I also sent them all an announcement after the birth.

    Post # 4
    3037 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

    Anyone who you WOULD no-question invite if they lived near by – yes. 

    Post # 5
    8604 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I personally think baby showers should be reserved for the people closest to you, but it’s your choice. I wouldn’t want a bunch of people I barely know at mine.

    Post # 6
    2698 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    lisaelanna:  I voted yes. It doesn’t seem gift grabby, it just lets them know you’re thinking of them.

    I ended up sending a bunch of out of town invites to my bridal shower, same reason. They didn’t come, but it was nice to be invited.

    I wouldn’t think about it too much and let your mom and inlaws invite people.

    Post # 7
    2946 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I voted yes.  Sometimes people surprise you by coming.  I also have an aunt who lives half way across the country and really the only way she knows what is going on is when she gets invites to things like this.  She won’t come, but she is by herself out there and likes knowing people are still thinking of her. 

    Post # 8
    2837 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    lisaelanna:  I ended up inviting my son’s dad’s anunts- whom I had never met- because he wanted me to.  I felt sort of weird about, but he insisted.  None of them could come (or didn’t want to LOL)– but they all sent gifts with really nice cards.

    I never would have included them on the list if he hadn’t insisted– but I don’t feel stupid about it.  They certainly didn’t have to send gifts, especially since they declined the invite…..and like I said their cards were very sweet.


    Also, my cousin lived in CA at the time of her baby shower– and she knew we couldn’t fly out there just for the shower.  But she still sent invites to all of her MN family, knowing they’d want to come if they could….and I invited her to mine, too- when she lived in CA and I was in MN.



    Post # 9
    7271 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I voted ‘yes’ before reading your post. If it is someone close to you who lives long distance I would send one but if you don’t really know these people than I would not send one.

    Post # 10
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    lisaelanna:  I don’t think it sounds too greedy to send invites to people out of state. I have family that would like nothing more than to send a gift our way, as that’s the only way they can help with the baby or be a part of their lives. I think some of them would be offended if we didn’t let them at least know a registry number lol.

    Post # 11
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    lisaelanna:  But on another note – I don’t think I’d send one to the people I don’t really know. If it’s a family friend who has known me all my life, that’d be understandable, but for those friends of parents that I’ve only met once or twice – that’d be kinda awkward.

    Post # 12
    8823 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    doesn’t sending birth annoucements seem as gift grabby? i think OOTers would feel as much inclined to send a shower gift as they would a gift once seeing the birth announcement.


    Post # 13
    3378 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think it’s appropriate to invite family and close friends who live far away – I’m in the camp of wanting them to feel invited.  I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate, but my mother insisted that my aunts and uncles would want to be included.  So I’m inviting all out-of town aunts, uncles, and grandparents (baby’s great-grandparents), even those that I know won’t be able to travel.  My Mother-In-Law just gave me her list yesterday, and we’re also inviting my DH’s grandmothers and aunts from Puero Rico (several of which may actually come!), and my MIL’s best friend/neighbor who she thinks would be happy to be included in our celebration.

    Post # 14
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    lisaelanna:  I think I kind of fell in the middle ground with this one.  I kept my invite list to just close family and friends, with the addition of 2-3 to the out-of-town cousin/aunt that I felt the need to invite – I kind of felt like they would appreciate being invited.  In my mind, I’d keep Out of Town invites to close family members (and maybe super super SUPER close friends).  But it’s up to you!

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