(Closed) Who is officiating your ceremony? Would you consider a family member/friend?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 16
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Are you sure you can’t have an online ordained minister officiate there? It might be worth calling wherever you get the mairrage lisences from to ask. 

I found these which seem to me to say that you can do it, but they’re older pages. And I’m sure you’ve read up on it much more than me! I’ll share anyway in case it helps. 

http://www.jud.ct.gov/lawlib/notebooks/pathfinders/marriageinct/marriage.pdf

https://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/rpt/2003-R-0490.htm

https://theamm.org/minister-licensing/connecticut/

 

Post # 17
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

We are asking a close family friend to officiate. He has always joked and asked us “when’s the wedding” or called us newlyweds even before we got engaged so we thought he would be perfect to officiate!

Post # 18
Member
2005 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We asked my SO’s female cousin. She’s an actress. I’m confidant she can do it. I wanted someone we knew, I wanted a woman, and I wanted someone that wouldn’t stumble over their words. Then I thought of her. I was so happy she said yes. 

Post # 19
Member
4121 posts
Honey bee

raspberrybidet :  For our civil wedding, a judge. For our religious wedding on a much later date, a Catholic priest. 

Post # 20
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Thankfully my grandfather has been a pastor for 50 years, so he and one of his long term friends (who was also my Uncle’s doctoral advisor and my pastor as a child) are doing the ceremony together.  So I am excited to have two men that mean so much to me doing it. 

 

Post # 21
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Spitfire Acres

My fiances grandfather and my childhood pastor are doing ours, I’m super excited about that but they both tend to get a little wordy 

Post # 22
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

I live in CT and i could have sworn it was ok to be ordained online 🙁 I would love for my dad to marry us now i have to do more research

Post # 23
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We had a friend officiate ours.  We aren’t religious and I wasn’t keen on the idea of paying some random officiant who didn’t know us hundreds of dollars to basically read a script.  This friend was already an officiant and he did it for a bottle of Jack Daniels. lol

Post # 24
Member
3396 posts
Sugar bee

A friend of mine officiated our wedding. She is a litigator so is used to speaking in front of others in a professional manner and as a lawyer, it seemed more “official,” lol. I found a script online and sent it to her. She may have changed it as she saw fit. I don’t really know. She did a great job.

Post # 25
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

raspberrybidet :  We did a close friend. It made more sense to us to include somene we care for and have it be more personal and also not pay a stranger! A friend had legal problems with their paperwork getting cleared after their wedding (who also had a friend officiate) and this friend recommended to me to do what you’re suggesting, becuase he and his wife were not “legally” married for 7 months after their wedding while trying out to sort of the paperwork issue. He said he wished they had just gone to the courthouse and gotten the certificate there before or after wedding because then its one-and-done. 

Post # 26
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee

We had a family friend, (his daughter is one of my best friends, and his son is one of DH’s good friends and he’s known the family forever) who is also a minister, officiate. It was perfect; he knows us well, and he made it much more personal. We loved it!

Post # 27
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Our friend married us and did an amazing job! My aunt married my brother and SIL and did a fantastic job as well. My cousin was also married by a friend. Call the office that issues marriage licenses to check for sure who can perform weddings. Our officiant was ordained through the internet but the clerks office said that was fine in KS. 

Post # 29
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

My good friend from HS officiated. She’s a lawyer, but should be a comedian. She knocked it out of the park. 

Post # 30
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

raspberrybidet :  just so you know, the city hall marriage will be your ceremony, having a ceremony afterwards is just a fake act and may insult many people, just don’t. The officiant in your ceremony does not have to be religious, ours isn’t. There are plenty of secular officiants around. Anyway to answer the question, the laws on online officiants is iffy and recently changed in NYC in 2013, friends and family can do it but we didn’t want to risk the legality, we researched officiants and chose this really nice lady who is keeping the ceremony as secular as possible.

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