(Closed) Who is officiating your ceremony? Would you consider a family member/friend?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 31
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Mine will be a close family friend. He’s funny, has known me since I was born… and happens to be a federal judge, so that helps with the whole legal part 🙂

 

Post # 32
Member
9721 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Originally my uncle was going to but he had to back out due to some family medical issues.

So we found a pastor online to do it. He would make the ceremony as religious or as secular as we wanted. Basically let us create the ceremony to look exactly how we wanted. It was perfect. It didn’t really matter to us that we weren’t super close with him. He was a really awesome guy and did a great job. That’s all we needed.

Post # 33
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

A family friend married us. He doesn’t hold US citizenship so we were worried he wouldn’t be legally recognized as an officiant (varies by state), so our plan was to either have a town hall wedding the day before/after and have him do our symbolic ceremony (nothing would have changed wording wise) or to have a designated officiant who did have citizenship sign the papers for us but have the family friend still do the ceremony. In the end, citizenship was a non-issue so he was our legal officiant.

I LOVED our ceremony. It was so reassuring having that familiar face that I’ve grown up with standing next to us and guiding us through the ceremony. Plus it was heartwarming seeing how emotional he got at times and how honored he was with our asking him. It really emphasized the our feelings of a wedding being about loved ones supporting our decision and was extremely touching.

Post # 34
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My Fiance and I do not attend church and I didn’t want a stranger officiating. Then we realized that my MIL’s best friends husband is actually ordained (not sure of the back story there) so he will be doing the honors. He has known my Fiance for over a decade and they have been very supportive of us as a couple so I’m happy with it!

Post # 35
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

A friend who happens to also be a very talented speaker is officiating ours.  She did an amazing job on the draft of the ceremony.  I can’t wait for the ACTUAL ceremony.

Post # 36
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My best friend is, he was the only person with me the night I met Fiance and was really why I had the guts to talk to him. We had jokingly said he would marry us when the time came for years and so when we got engaged I couldn’t picture anyone else doing it. He is also a very animated and lively person so I am sure he will do an amazing job.

Post # 37
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

raspberrybidet :   I have a friend who has been officiating his friends’ marriages in CT, NY, and RI for some time now, and unless the laws changed in the past 2 or 3 years, the CT ones have been fine.  That said, he did mention that the CT ones were tricky and now I wonder if they made a special arrangement, like having a Justice of the Peace present or doing the legal ceremony beforehand

I also would use your judgment regarding a city hall marriage and then a ceremony.  My family and friends would not care in the slightest!  But that does not speak to your guests and how you think they would react if they knew

Post # 38
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee

My friend’s dad married us.  He happens to be a judge 🙂

Post # 39
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

My brother is doing mine!

Post # 40
Member
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

raspberrybidet :  that is exactly what we did! we got married at the courthouse (no words or rings exchanged, just signatures on a paper) and then had a friend officiate who had done a couple of weddings before us. it worked out beautifully!

Post # 41
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

raspberrybidet :  We were married this past Saturday in Maryland by DHs uncle…. What qualifies someone to be an officiant in CT? 

Post # 42
Member
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

Does CT not do the one-day dispensation thing? We’re next door in MA, and the state will give you a one-day ordainationto  perform a marriage ceremony for $25. We got one for FI’s friend from college. He has a great voice and a wonderful demeanor, and I think he will do an awesome job. We thought about getting a justice-of-the-peace or going to city hall, but that was actually more expensive. Plus, I think FI’s friend will give it a much more personal touch. He is very honored to be involved; he came over the other night to watch the debate with us and ended up staying until 2 am talking about our wedding ceremony plans, first dance ideas, etc. It was very sweet. 

Post # 43
Member
7032 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

raspberrybidet :  Getting ordained through the Universal Life Church online is valid in every state except VA & PA….so your friend should be fine for your CT wedding if they wanted to go that route.

We did have a friend marry us, but he is a full-time wedding officiant and has been for 10+ years. Prior to that he was a pastor in a church.

I personally wouldn’t have used a friend with no experienced, but I’m likely a little biased because as  wedding photographer I see so many friends totally botch wedding ceremonies.

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