Post # 1
I’m paying for about 80% of the wedding. Fiance is paying for the DJ and paper stuff (STD, invitations, place cards, programs, etc.), my dad is covering the photographer, and my future in-laws are helping us with flowers and have generously offered to pay for our honeymoon.
When people find out that I’m paying for majority of the wedding, some of them have given me funny looks and I’ve actually gotten some snarky comments like…Your parents should pay for the whole thing, it’s their responsibility. Your Fiance should pay for ½ of it, it doesn’t matter how he comes up with the money. WTF???
Fiance and I have been together for 9 years. I’ve been out of school and working for 6 years, Fiance for 5 years. When I graduated from college, I decided to move back home with my parents for a couple of years. Due to some family situations, I have not moved out and will continue to live with my mom until a few months before the wedding. I don’t have any debt, all of my auto expenses are covered by work (including gas and maintenance), and I only have a little bit of personal expenses and some money I give to my mom every month. So I’ve been able to save up a lot of money in the past 6 years.
My Fiance did not move back home after college and has been supporting himself completely. He works for a company that is state-funded so his finances have been affected recently with all the budget cuts. He has some money put away for a rainy day, but obviously his savings is nowhere near mine.
Which is why we decided that I would pay for the majority of the wedding. We’ve talked about this extensively before getting engaged and we’re both very comfortable with it. So it irks me when other people have something to say about it.
So my questions to you are…Who is paying for your wedding? If your situation is a bit unconventional like mine, have you gotten any negative reactions?
[Note to self: When people ask me who is paying for the wedding, my answer should be “none of your business!”]
Post # 3
My parents: Ceremony and Reception (roughly 50% of the total budget)
FI’s parents: Flowers & Rehearsal Dinner
My aunt and uncle: Cake
My grandmother: Dress
Us: Everything else
Post # 4
I wouldn’t worry about what outsiders say about it. With the way you two have income coming in and expenses going out this is what works for you.
I really couldn’t tell you who paid for what between Darling Husband and I… we just took the expenses and paid sometimes with his acct and sometimes with mine.. however it worked then.
And when they ask just say we’re paying for most and our/my family is gifting us with the DJ and flowers =D
From what I see today, many many couples pay for their wedding themselves. It’s what works.
((hugs)) for your frustration
Post # 5
My fiance is mainly paying for the wedding. He has a good paying job, I’m still in nursing school and working part-time, so unfortunately I can’t contribute much as all of my money goes to bills.
His parents cannot afford to contribute anything, and my mom is a single parent (my dad passed away when I was 11). She did generously pay for my dress, though.
Post # 6
Father-In-Law gives us 200$/month to do with it as we see fit. So. 20% of our budget.
My dad/grandmother offered a week of their timeshare for our honeymoon…still have to decide if we can afford flights/food/etc.
Me & Fiance: Everything else.
Post # 7
Our’s was pretty “traditional” in that my parents paid for the majority of it (they have always planned to do this for each of their daughters). DH’s parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, my bouquet, and the bouts, and such. Darling Husband and I paid for special things that we wanted that our parents didn’t agree with (like our friend who runs a DJing company to come up from Atlanta to DJ) as well as a variety of miselaneous things here and there (like, if I went out and get something wedding related – my shoes, decor, ribbon, stamps, return address labels, etc, I didn’t go ask my parents to pay me back).
Post # 8
Fiance and I are paying for everything but the rehearsal dinner, which is being covered by his parents. My parents are in no place to help us out financially.
Post # 9
I can’t believe that people have the audacity to actually ask you, “who is paying for the wedding!” good grief! I do not think you should ever have to answer such a question.
If someone asked me that (in real life–the internet, of course, is different,) I would probably reply, “I’ll tell you if you tell me how much you make a year.” Or something obnoxious that would show them what an obnoxious question they had asked!
As far as my situation– my parents are paying the bulk of it. I am buying lots of the little things and not worrying about it (like my little personal things like makeup and jewlery and veil,) and FI’s parents are insisting on paying for the alcohol at the reception, which is kind of awkward since it’s like all on one bill. So…we’re not sure if FI’s parents will write my parents a check and my parents will give us a few thousand dollars to pay for the smaller things like photographer that we have already paid for, or if FI’s parents will write us a check.
for the record, I HATE it when people are fighting over money like, “let me pay for this,” “no, really, i insist, let me pay for it!”
dang it! how about if you all just give ME the money! 😉
(ok, rant over.)
Post # 9
Darling Husband and I paid for 95% of our wedding. My parents weren’t in a position to help us (but I never planned to having them pay for the wedding). However, my mom did want to buy my dress.
I say do whatever works for you. All that matters is that the two of you are happy with the arrangement. I can’t believe people are actually asking who is footing the bill. I don’t think we ever got that question.
Post # 10
Fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves. It’s a destination for us, my family, and many of our friends, so we are paying for their airfare and hotel. We’re hoping it will be a fun extended weekend for everyone.
Post # 11
Fiance and myself are paying for it 100% ourselves. we have paid deposits etc, but the fancy things like the table decorations, flowers etc, i have already paid for myself. the bigger bills are divided but i seem to have paid for the extras just by myself, but thats because i cant help myself when i go shopping……i see something and just buy it.
Post # 12
FH and I are paying for about 60% and my parents are covering about 40% of the wedding costs (not including honeymoon). FIL’s are covering the Rehearsal Dinner and paying for our honeymoon flight. FH’s grandmother is letting us use her timeshare for our honeymoon.
Post # 13
Mr. Fish and I have a joint account that we’re both putting money into to save up for the wedding. Right now I’m working a lot more than he is, so I’m contributing more. But when I go back to school, he’ll be working and contributing a lot of his paychecks to savings. We won’t really be able to tell who paid for what between the two of us.
His parents are paying for alcohol and the rehearsal dinner, and my parents will give us around 2 thousand dollars. But all in all, we’re probably paying for 2/3 to 3/4 of it ourselves.
Post # 14
Fiance and I were planning on paying for it, we’de saved enough (we’re a bit older, mid-30’s) – and it was gonna be rather tight (i.e. no honeymoon), but we would have it paid for. Recently my Dad gave us a faily sizeable cheque, that takes a lot of the worry away. We will actually get a honeymoon now 🙂
Post # 15
@missjo117: My Fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves. I mean everything. I have gotten so many snarky comments so I feel you pain! What I can’t stand is how incredibly rude it is to make comments of a financial nature when it comes to weddings. It doesn’t matter who pays for it, it matters that you’re getting married and you’re so happy!!! I try to ignore people who lack class and obviously were raised in a barn. My dad is military and makes ok money and my mom is disabled so it isn’t as if I come from money. I wouldn’t dare ask for help for something from them.