(Closed) Who is paying for your wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think it’s crazy that anyone would make snarky comments about someone paying for their own wedding!  That is so rude, what is wrong with people?  I think it’s awesome you’re paying for so much of it and if I could do the same, I would.  However I can’t, so my parents are paying for almost all of it including the rehearsal dinner.  My Mom bought my dresses and paid for alterations and my Dad is paying for everything else.  Fiance and I are paying for our own rings, of course, and Fiance intends to pay for the honeymoon.

Post # 18
Member
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are pretty much paying for it ourselves. Like “amnystik”, when we needed to make a payment we just paid, from his or mine account. His parents are helping out as well when we need help. My mom is not able to help financially but she has helped us trumendessly by giving me kitchen stuff, a brand new Langostina set that she never used… so I can’t complain 🙂 My dad will be helping but he hasn’t said with what yet, I guess he’ll help more when time comes.

 


Post # 19
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@missjo117: You should definitely just tell people “a combination of me, my fiance and my parents, why do you ask???” It’s nobody’s business 🙂

Post # 20
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am paying for 100% of the wedding and FH is paying for the honeymoon. We are adults so why would we expect anything different? It’s great if family wants or offers to help with wedding expenses but it certainly is not mandatory!

Post # 21
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I am paying for the wedding and reception.

My Fiance plans to pay for the honeymoon.

My parents aren’t in any postion to pay, and I know it hurts them they aren’t able to contribute. So I have been using them as slave labor(hehe), my mom loves to craft so we do it together when ever I visit.

These days people do what they can and are able. I would never tell anyone that my parents didn’t pay, even though they aren’t. People are able to contribute time, and emotional support instead of just signing the check. That means more anyways.

Post # 22
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow people are ballsy.  I’m not sure how I would answer that, but I wouldn’t tell them the exact truth since it’s none of their beeswax 🙂

My parents bought my dress, and in the end will pay for dinner for our guests, some cocktail hour food and a little bit towards beer & wine at cocktail hour.  They also bought the gable boxes for our favors, and are paying for a hotel room for a hair stylist to come.  SHe’s my mom’s stylist and she invited her as a guest.  She’s doing my hair for free.

FIs mother and FIs father have contributed $0

Fiance closed an old savings account that paid for the photographer

I have paid for our Save the dates, invites, stamps, all craft supplies for our DIY projects, our wedding bands, my accessories and shoes, the candy and most of the desserts from our candy/dessert buffet, vases for our centerpieces, our DJ (my mother may pay the balance of this), florist (mom just offered otday after fighting for 2 months about it to pay this), the hotel room & meals for our photographers,  and everything else for our wedding weekend and our honeymoon.

I have the lowest paying job I’ve had in 10 years, but I make more than Fiance, and after his company shut down unexpectedly just after our engagement he was on unemployment for a couple of months… so therereally was no option.

Had deposits not already been booked and invites ordered, we wouldn’t have done the wedding now.  My mom offered us $x amount of money to have a ‘big’ wedding and then slowly kept loering that number, even though all arrangements were made at that point.

it wasn’t until today, 8 days out, that that number went back up a little bit and I could breathe a little.

Good luck!!!

Post # 23
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We’re doing straight dollar amounts, rather than paying for specific items.

My parents: $20K

His mom: $15K

Us: We’re paying for our rings and the honeymoon, plus whatever is left over after that.

So far it’s working out pretty good. I like having flat dollar amounts, that way I don’t need to argue with anyone about how much they’re paying for such-and-such. I just tell them where to send the check!

Post # 24
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am paying for most of it so far, most of FIs money goes to the mortgage (I pay some but not as much as he does – he earns more though)

Post # 25
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Captain013: I whole heartedly agree that putting in time and effort as well as providing moral support really mean a lot.

I’m paying for the wedding and reception. Fiance is paying for the honeymoon (with the help of any cash gifts we receive at the wedding/reception).

Post # 26
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Our parents are paying equally for the food. We’re paying for everything else.

Post # 27
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We are paying for the majority of our wedding. My parents are giving us$ 5000 for the receptio. My mom brought my wedding dress, shoes and veil. My mom is also buying athe wedding favors and givin us $300 towards flowers.

Post # 28
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

People just lack boundaries. I would never even dignify anyone with an answer to that question, its just nobodies business. If they aren’t cutting you a check then why the hell do they need to know? Me and Fiance will be paying for it. I know my Fiance wouldn’t want his parents to feel any obligation to contribute, but I assume that they would want to help with something, but what exactly that is I have no idea at this point.

Post # 29
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My parents wanted to help with the wedding but they really can’t. Future Mother-In-Law is covering the DJ for us. Other than that FI’s paychecks cover the bills while mine go towards the wedding.

Post # 30
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I am so offended for you that you received such snarky comments! It is not a parents “responsibility” to pay for a wedding. That is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. It’s a gift, not a job!

With that said, I was planning to pay for 100% of the wedding by myself. Fiance has been in law school for the past three years earning nothing but debt. =P I have been making very good money for the past 4 years. Neither of our parents are in any position to shell out large sums of money. So, in order to have the type of wedding we wanted, I decided to foot the bill. Fiance will be paying for our future house. We are in our late 20’s and we make/will make good money. Both of us felt like we shouldn’t burden our families with things we could handle ourselves.

Then, at the last minute, my parents generously bought my dress and gifted my Fiance a much larger than expected graduation present, with the implication that he would put the money towards the wedding.

In the end, if you are getting married, it’s assumed that your finances are going to be pooled. So what does it matter who pays for what??

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