- 5 years ago
I have been mulling over this since my wedding last September and have heard a few different opinions on what “hosting” really means.
Some back story:
My parents offered early on to pay for everything with the wedding, including the reception, possibly some alcohol, the church, the officiant, the music, the rehearsal dinner if necessary etc. and detailed this in a list they gave to my future in-laws over a year before our wedding date.
My future in laws verbally agreed to pay for all the alcohol for the reception and the rehearsal dinner after receiving the list.
Flash forward to a month before the wedding:
My parents are still paying for everything involved with the reception, the church, officiant, decorations, flowers, and music for all but one of the musicians at the ceremony, plus the wedding band.
His parents are covering the rehearsal dinner, alcohol (spending way more that what I told them was expected), and now they have decided to send us on a super expensive honeymoon to europe (I told them this was unecessary, but thanks).
All of a sudden I’m made aware of my future mother in law is really upset that her name did not appear on the top of our invitation with my parents (her name was on there after her son’s) and that we are making it very difficult for her to host the wedding. I try to talk about this with my future husband and he insists that the two of us are hosting the wedding. But all along I thought that since my parents were paying for the majority of the reception and ceremony that they were hosting.
As I understood it, those who pay the most toward the wedding, and traditionally the bride’s parents, host the wedding.
Or is it my husband and I because we made most of the decisions together?–which was his argument for us hosting the wedding.
Or was it my future parents-in-law because they decided later in the process to throw more money toward the alcohol, elaborate rehearsal dinner, and hugely expensive honeymoon?
Let me know what you girls think!
*EDIT: My parents paid 4 times as much on the actual wedding day than my future in-laws, and I even showed my in-laws a proof of the invitation for their approval before sending the invitations out!